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Fantasy Fiction Funny

Tara Tarot

On a dismal day such as one might expect on a day that one loses their job, Tara walks with her sister, Scarlett, and Scarlett’s scruffy little mutt, Bozo. 

“What I need is a need a new job altogether,” Tara says.

“Like what?” Scarlett moves behind Tara as a teenaged boy with a tall barking dog passes. He’s got a loose hold on the leash. Bozo growls. 

“Like something where my talents are appreciated.”  

“How about this? Scarlett pulls a poster from a lamp post.  

Tara grabs it and reads aloud:

Psychic needed for party. Serious inquiries only.”  There’s an email. No phone number

I think that’s called an oxymoron,” Tara says. Who takes psychics seriously? I mean, seriously.

“Come on, it’s tonight. And it’s two hundred dollars. Maybe they still need someone. Worth a call, right?”1

“I think they need someone with intuition. I never saw my job loss coming.”

“Not a job loss. It’s a leave, Tara. There’s a difference.”

“What else do I have to lose?” Tara says. She’s lost her marriage, her mother as well as the job. “Maybe mom will come through and tell us where she hid the gold.”

“That joke never gets old,” Scarlett said. “Remember she’d flop down and pretend she was saying her last words… the gold is in the …”

Tara emails the address as soon as she enters her basement bedroom of the house she’s been living in with Scarlett and her niece, Raine, since her marital separation in the spring.  

The reply from the party host is immediate. “Please call me.”

Scarlett enters the room as the phone connection is made. She paces, mouthing questions to ask the party host, Sherry. Tara shoos her away, pointing to her ear. I can’t hear. I’m on the phone for godsake.  

Scarlett starts texting talk notes to her instead:

say you’re experienced (cos you’ve had a reading before but don’t say that part)

you’ll need a private room for the readings

ask if she needs tea leaves or tarot or both

Tara pushes the page away and hangs up. She’s got all the info she needs for the party tonight. Sherry will email the “deets and coordinates.” Gawd

Scarlett hollers to the kids that they’ll be back upstairs in twenty minutes because she’s busy with Tara.

“I don’t have twenty minutes to spend with you. The party’s at 8 p.m.. I’ve got to shower and find a flowy scarf and a Tarot deck. Do you think they sell them at the convenience store?”

“I’ve got those things.”

“Of course you do. No doubt they’re in labelled bins stacked in alphabetical order. I have no bins. 

“We need time to plan what you’re going to do and say during the mystical readings. How many clients are there?”

“Six old gals. It’s Sherry’s sixty-fifth birthday. They are open to Tarot cards, tea leaves, whatever.”

“Maybe this could be your new career?” Scarlett says.

“Let’s start with this party. Show me the paraphernalia.” Let’s log onto Facebook and find some background on this lady. Find her eldest friends. 

                                **************

By the time Tara arrives, the ladies are hard into the daiquiris. Lots of giggles and talking over each other, and asking people to repeat what they’ve said. Sherry wears a flowy scarf around her head and looks more like a medium than Tara whose gear is in the backpack slung over her shoulder. 

Sherry shows Tara to the library where incense sends up a thin fragrant smoke, candles are lit and a cloth flows over a card table. A plastic-wrapped Tarot deck sits in the centre of the table. There’s a magic eight ball. A pot of tea and tiny cups. Spiritual music—a harp maybe — and some buzzing and tweeting sounds.  

Tara unpacks her backpack. She dons the borrowed silk robe and tucks Scarlett’s cheat sheet in the pocket. “I’ve got my own gear, but whatever floats your boat.”

“It’ll be more legit if it’s a new deck, if that’s okay with you. The last psychic had cards up her sleeve which made it awkward for all of us,” Sherry says.

“You sure you didn’t hire a magician?” Tara tries to keep the sarcasm to a minimum as these ladies are much classier ladies than she expected.

Sherry rolls her eyes and doesn’t acknowledge the remark. “No, her business card said clairvoyant and medium or something like that. What a scam. We paid for the real deal. You’ll be a breath of fresh air.”

“You said ten minutes per reading. Six readings right? No video recordings. You can do audio. Twenty bucks each, cash up-front. I’ll need a break halfway through to use the bathroom and recover. The brain work takes a lot out of me.” It occurs to her that her teaching job would have been more palatable if she’d charged $20 for each parent interview. She could, in fact, read the parents’ minds in most cases. Their kid was destined for university and thus needed her full attention and the highest mark in the class. It was kindergarten for godsake. 

“I’ll go first, Sherry says. Here’s a new deck of Tarot cards if you want to shuffle them.”

Tara rolls up her sleeves, shuffles the deck, passes it to Sherry and sets her cell phone timer for ten minutes.

“What you want to do,” Sherry says, “is to place them like this.” She shows Tara a photo on her cell phone screen of Tarot cards on a table that appears to be strikingly similar to the one before which they are sitting. 

“That’s not how it works for me,” Tara says.

“How then?” Sherry opens her mouth to speak again, but Tara shushes her with a finger to her lips.  

“Just chill and listen up for a minute okay? The spirits won’t come through if we don’t do what works for me.” If you want to use you ten minutes doing the in-service you are welcome to do so.

“But before we start, I just need to mention that Jill’s mother died recently tragically and unexpectedly. If she comes through, don’t focus on the way she died but what a lovely woman she was, a good baker, devoted grandmother and that she is probably with her cat, Simon, etc. As far as Lydia goes…”

Tara stops the timer. These tips are everything she needs. No charge. “Anything else?” Maybe you can give me their pets’ names and favourite numbers so I can access their bank accounts too.

“Diane died last year. She was a soprano. We’re all part of a Sweet Adelines’ barbershop choir. If she comes through I’m not sure if we’re ready to hear from her. Long story.” 

Tara hands the deck to Sherry. “You do yours now,” she says. 

Sherry puts three cards face down, one face up but upside down and then toys with another before placing it at the top of the table.  

“I’d offer you a cup of tea but I see you have a Daiquiri.”

“That’s for reading the tea leaves,” Sherry says. “But whatever floats your boat, as you say.”

Tara surveys the condo furnishings and sees her chance. “I mentioned tea leaves are five dollars extra and past lives ten dollars extra, right?”  

“You didn’t, but that’s fine. Money is no object. Don’t say something like there won’t be travel in the next year. I think we all know that. If you see a vacation in their future mention a location such as the topics and say that if they’re going alone there’ll be dancing, etc. We are all single except for Trish.”

“Gotcha,” Tara says.

“Now let’s start with me.  Do you see my mom?”

“Your mom? Oh yeah, I’ve gotta make some crap up now.“Hang on, there’s a big lady who’s been trying to get a word in. She’s a mother figure. An aunt if not a mother. She’s wearing heels and a pastel sweater…”

“I meant do you see my mom coming on my vacation. That must be her sister, Ann who you see. We weren’t close after she hurt my feelings so I don’t know why she’s coming through. Maybe it’s an apology?”

“Maybe. Wait! I see a man. Your ex-husband maybe? Name starts with a J or a G? Grey hair…balding. The waist of his pants are pulled up to his chest.” Is that what the guy looked like on Facebook?

Not mine. Sounds like Jo’s ex.”

“Ah yes, that. happens sometimes. How’s about you send her in and I’ll call you back in at the end?”

Sherry returns with a trembling Jo who bears a box of tissues, one already in use.

One by one, each tipsier than the last, the women enjoy their readings. Tara hears laughter and squeals between readings as they share details of their readings with each other in the next room.  

Tara comes up with the occasional past life as a small child in a remote village in China or India, describes exotic travel, riches, gentleman callers. They are thrilled with all of it. 

As the night wears on, Tara boldly gets more specific and more accurate. 

“Exactly,” Edna says. “You hit the nail on the head. He really was an arse. I went on a cruise with some girlfriends after I kicked him to the curb. And yes I won some cash on the slots. Incredible.”

The last patron is in tears before she sits. This has gotta be Jill. She won’t mention her mother’s tragic death. Won’t mention her mother at all. She sticks to safe topics, the tropics, new love interests, taking up hobbies, and making a goal of getting more exercise this year.

“Any word from my mom?” Jill asks. Damn.

“She loves you and misses you terribly.” Tara says. How could that hurt?

Tara packs up after finishing with Sherry who pouts when the spirits move away soon after she sits down.  

Tara drops the cheat sheet but retrieves it before Sherry can see it. “I told them in advance there would be six readings and so that was what was what they were prepared for, I’m afraid. You can have me back if y’all need to hear more and your reading will be free of charge.”  

*****************

Scarlett is waiting up when Tara arrives home. “I wish I’d been a fly on the wall,” she says after hearing the recap. “It sounds like it was hilarious.”

“There were serious bits. One old gal really wanted to hear from her mother but the hostess cautioned me against giving any message from her. I just told her she loved her and that she was too shy to come forward tonight.”

“Good thinking. It would thrill me to hear mom come through and say she loves and misses us.”

“She did in her own unique way. Imagine if she had come through?”

*****************

Tara’s niece wakes her too early in the morning. Tara puts a pillow over her face and pulls up her covers. “This psychic mind of mine needs to rest.” 

“Yeah, but you need to see this, Auntie Tara. You’re blowing up on social media. A barbershop ladies choir is going wild about how accurate your readings were. People want to book parties.  

Thank the maker they don’t know my full name. Sherry’s got my phone number though. 

“There’s this lady who says it’s urgent.”

Tara takes the phone from Raine and mumbles a sleepy hello. Please be anyone but Jill.

“It’s mom,” the voice says. “Can we meet up?”

Tara hangs up abruptly then rethinks it. What if I’ve lost the connection?

A text follows. How rude. One of her mother’s expressions.

Tara texts back. Let’s meet. Time and place?

Tomorrow at 4 pm at Anchor Park. Come alone and bring the pack.

Tarot?

No, smokes. You’re a little rusty with the readings and we can help. Forget the house parties and the teaching job. We’re gonna need a bigger venue. Don’t sell yourself short. Twenty bucks a reading is too low. 

I can’t believe this. Is this for real?

It’s all real. I was waiting to come through til you were ready.  

Tell me something that only you know.

The gold is in the……

January 08, 2022 02:45

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4 comments

Joan Roy
14:51 Nov 25, 2022

Hi everyone Am here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Dr Tunde I was so confused and devastated when my husband left me without a word, I needed him back desperately because i loved him so much. So a friend of mine introduced me to this powerful spell caster who had helped her in getting her lover back, so i contacted him and he promise that in less than 72 hours he will come back to me. After i did all he asked to my greatest surprise my husband who had refuses to speak with me came back home and asked for forgiveness f...

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Barbara Burgess
06:37 Jan 14, 2022

Hi Hannah, I enjoyed your story. I liked the ending too, very clever. I also enjoyed the bit about being a magician. Your story was dotted with some very good lines and phrases. One or two spelling and grammar mistakes, but altogether a nice and entertaining story. Do you put your work through Grammarly or any spelling correction before submitting it? Another thing to do is to leave it a day or so and re-read it again as your eyes see different things after a break from the writing. Best wishes, and good luck, Barbara

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Allison Hannah
15:40 Jan 15, 2022

Thanks so much for taking the time to read it and for your helpful suggestions. I will leave myself more time before deadline next time. Nice to meet you.

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Barbara Burgess
18:48 Jan 15, 2022

Yes, I know it is not easy as you are only given about 7 days and sometimes it takes me that long to get the story down! Good luck, Barbara

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