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People of Color East Asian Desi

Another day passed mopping floors at ‘the plaza’, God! I hate summer here , first of all summer in Chicago is not actually summer , it’s still cold. I don’t drink, even though I am 32 and I live alone , I mean there is literally no one to tell me I cant , I am grown man but every time this thought comes to my mind of drinking I just remember my mother back in Pakistan and the promise I made to her , “you are going just to to earn money , nothing else and nothing more , don’t forget you're roots , you are a Muslim and no son of mine should drink or eat pork .” her words are engraved to my heart , she made me promise not to drink or eat pork and no matter what the circumstance is I never broke it . Two years now , I left my wife , my mother , my kids and my brother all for their future , oh! How I miss them.

Its my kids birthday today. Salman was only four when I left, today he is six. Last time we had a video call where they cut the cake and how I saw everything on screen , my son kept asking ,”baba, when are you coming back , I want to play with you with my new bat mamo (uncle) got me .” and I kept on replying ,”soon beta (son) , whenever my big mean boss will give me a holiday I will come .” But this year my wife took the kids to her brothers house to celebrate , I tried calling but no one picked up . I miss them so much but I cant meet them or any time soon . My day instantly becomes lousy . I got home . My roommate Raj was there on his phone talking to his girlfriend . Raj shifted from New Deli to Chicago for studying , “ two years more baby ,then ill come back get a great job and then make my parents come to you're house for you're hand in marriage .” This is typical Raj , after his university he works in a restaurant, then come back talk to his girlfriend and how when he will go back they will get married and make lots of babies . Raj is cool, sometimes he ‘forgets’ his turn to wash the dishes but we get it, he has to talk to his girlfriend or else she will throw a fit , its already hard for them , long distance you know .

“yeah! Oh nothing its just Bilal .” Raj told his girlfriend . He looks at me , he squints his eyes and then says goodbye to his girlfriend , that’s odd , they were suppose to go for another hour . “you OK?” Raj asked me “yea! I am fine” “dude come on , I know a sad face when I see one and you're face screams sad, so tell me what happened?” giving a sigh and I caved in ,”its my sons birthday today and I miss him so much.” Raj stands and then comes sit on my bed beside me,”so why don’t you call him?” “I cant , my wife went to her brothers house today and so shes not picking up.” “oh!”. I started taking of my jacket but just then Raj stood up and said ,”lets go, there is a new Pakistani restaurant opened just two blocks away lets go there.” Raj said trying to cheer me up,”No! I am not in the mood” “that's why we have to go , come on wear you're jacket lets go.”

We walked two blocks to the new Pakistani restaurant . It was a typical Paki restaurant in Chicago , with brown and only brown people . when I entered the place it was filled with a heavy smell of kebab and that smell instantly took me back to Lahore , to the place with the best kebabs. Uncle Mehmoods kebabs, I still remember the first time those kebabs got my smell. It was summer and summer in Lahore is hell on earth, my friend and I decided to take a new route to school because we both wanted to bee under the shade and the route we usually took was around the market place. We were passing by and I stopped with the wonderful filling my nose, I told my friend we have to eat the kebabs there, both of us decided to eat when we would come back from school. We were 16 at that time, old enough to go out. After school we went to the stall and got two kebabs and two cups of tea. Being a Pakistani its very common to drink tea at literally any time of the day. The kebab had the perfect blend of spice and chicken , it was the tastiest kebab I have tasted ever , after that day me and my friend use to go to that kebab stall everyday. The day before I was going to Chicago I went to that stall alone, I opened my phone and saw the pictures of my wife and me on our wedding day, the day Salman was born , the day Aisha was born, pictures of me with my mom, pictures of when we went to Muree on vacations, pictures with my friends, pictures with my family, old pictures, new pictures, every picture on my gallery. I remember that day when I went to pay the cashier asked me, ”why do you look so emotional?” “I am leaving to USA tomorrow and I was just seeing the memories I have here with my family and friends.” The cashier was a old a guy, he was one of those long white bearded old folks. “You know I have seen you coming here since you were a young boy, almost for fifteen years now, do you even know who uncle Mehmood is?” I felt guilty , how could I not know whom uncle Mehmood is? “I am sorry, I don’t.” I said shamefully . the cashier started to chuckle, ”uncle Mehmood was one of the rich Muslims in India before the partition, he had riches , he had servants , everything but he loved to cook but being from a rich family, a man cooking was known as a disgrace, his father made him stop cooking when he turned fifteen and made him join the family business. He had no interest in it, so the business started to drown in loss. It was so in loss that the family got into into debt. Sir s Mehmood father couldn’t bear the loss and he died with the grief. Mr. Mehmood sold his rich palace to pay for the debt and used the remaining money to open a stall. At first he thought that his life was completely falling apart but when he opened this small stall he realized that he had everything he wanted and so much more.” It took me minute to take in the story because come one, a wealthy rich guy running this two by two stall is kind of hard to believe. The cashier must be faking it for the publicity, god! People these days. “sometimes people think that what they are doing is best for them or for pleasing the society but when you come to think ok if , sometimes when you get something little but it is something you always wanted, its enough.” at that time I didn’t understand what he meant to say, it didn’t make sense who would be happy running a tiny stall when Mr. Mehmood would have been happy have a huge business. That guy was filled with baloney. I shook his hand and left.

At that time I didn’t understand what he said but right now smelling the kababs smell that remind me of the kababs back at home I realize , I had everything I wanted, I had a mother, a loving wife, beautiful kids, my brother, a family, a home, we were fine living under a broken roof we had because we were together and even though it wasn’t a lot , it was enough. At that moment I realize what I wanted and now I am going get it. I go outside, try calling my wife again, she picks up, "hello!” “hello love!” “Bilal! Are you ok? were you crying? Is everything alright?” “Everything would be perfect, if I was with you my love.” “Bilal are you ok?” “No! I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to work here like this, I want to be with you, I want to be with my kids, I want to be with my mom, I want to sit on uncle Mehmood's stall and eat his kababs again, I am tired of missing you all, I just want to be with you .“ there was a long pause in the call and then she finally said, "Bilal if this is you're final decision then I cant stop you from it.” tears started to pool from my eyes , tears of joy of course. 

October 02, 2020 06:35

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