According to the God of Plans

“You finally chose a hero?”

- “Yes, see? There she goes now.”

“A human?”

- “What? Why is that even a question?”

“If you want an unpredictable hero…I guess.”

- “I’ve lined up everything in her life to lead her to only one conclusion. She will take up the mantle of my chosen one and bring about my age.”

“If you say so.”

- “Don’t be a jerk. You had your age with the dwarves. Our sister had her time with the elves. Cousin had her season with the dark elves. It’s my turn.”

“Sure. You know, you could’ve picked a troll, an orc…hell, even a fae is easier to control.”

- “Shush. She’s getting ready to make the first choice that will put her on the path I’ve laid out for her.”

“Oh, she’s praying. Let’s listen in.”

~ “Gods, I know Mom keeps pushing for me to study Political Science and follow in her footsteps, but the more she does, the less I want to. I have three options and that’s only one of them. If only I had a sign.”

- “Perfect. I’ll just part this cloud, a ray of light falling right…there. See, piece of cake.”

~ “Okay, even for the gods that’s a little too on the nose. I won’t be bullied into a course of study. Forget poli-sci. Law school or engineering…? Math…nah. Law it is.”

“Ha ha! Not going your way? This is rich!”

- “That’s okay…I can…I can work with that. It’s just a minor tweak to the plan, but I can still get her where I need her.”

“We’ll see, second-favorite sister.”

- “Second favorite? Wow, that’s low, seeing how your only other sister literally banished you and held you in chains for a thousand years until I fought to free you. But what should I expect from my second-favorite brother?”

“But I’m your only…touché. Well played, sister, well played.”

- “Here we go. I put the man I knew would most appeal to her where I needed him…and they met. He’ll get her involved in politics.”

“Are you sure about that?”

- “Absolutely. I can see her desire eroding her mistrust. I still don’t understand why she doesn’t trust anyone, but oh well.”

“Maybe because everyone in her life seems to be pushing her in a direction in which she doesn’t feel called?”

- “Look, look! She’s joining him for a political rally. I’ll drop some dopamine and serotonin and she’ll….”

“What? She’ll what?”

- “She…she just slapped him and joined the protesters. No! She’s never going to get where I need her from that side.”

“Oh, sister, you crack me up! You just had to pick a human champion, didn’t you?”

- “But…why would she go against everything she was brought up to believe?”

“She was brought up in the beliefs that you thought would turn her in your chosen direction?”

- “Yes.”

“But did she ever believe it, or was it just…the default?”

- “I thought she truly believed it. No. This is just a phase…a rebellious streak. She’ll grow out of it and come around.”

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that. By the way, seems like that rush of brain chemicals got her interested in the woman leading the protest.”

- “She’s interested in a woman?”

“Did you even study your hero after you chose her? Have you studied humans at all?”

- “No, I get it…it just goes against—”

“Everything she’s been raised to believe. Right. You know less about humans than I thought.”

- “Oh, wait…this is a generational thing, isn’t it? Okay, I can make some changes, but I’ll still get her where I need her.”

“You think so?”

- “You’ll see.”

“Most of your followers are Brown Party. What makes you think a Yellow Party leader will be what you need?”

- “I don’t care about their politics, I just need a hero in power that can take on my avatar and present me to the masses. That human is the one that has been designed to do just that.”

“Just because she can take on your avatar, doesn’t mean she will.”

- “She is genetically predisposed to leadership. I just need to make sure she sees that.”

“What are you doing now?”

- “There, see? One little nudge and her new girlfriend is begging her to speak at the protests, to take a leadership role.”

“Heh. Good luck.”

- “Do you think I’m stupid? I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh, really? Looks like she just broke up with her girlfriend. You shouldn’t have made her push.”

- “Gah! That’s fine, it’s fine, I—I’ll map out a whole new plan for her.”

“Sister, please…stop! I can’t keep laughing this much!”

- “Fine. I’ll let her finish her schooling before I intervene again. Fast forward.”

“Wow, she’s just…three girlfriends, two boyfriends…and none of them ever managed to get close. You really messed her up.”

- “I did not. She’ll never be happy until she gives in and follows the plan that’s laid out in her DNA.”

“If you say so.”

- “Let’s see where she’s applying to work. Yes, either of these two firms will groom her to a political career. They will both make an offer, and she can decide.”

“Ooh, another prayer. She hasn’t done that in a while.”

~ “Gods, I know you like to meddle, just stop, please. Let me accomplish this on my own.”

“Oops. You might’ve just messed up, sister.”

- “Nonsense. She doesn’t have any way to know who I’ve influenced or haven’t.”

“She’s read the offers, and now she’s going through the rejects pile again.”

- “No, you silly woman. They rejected you on their own. Just take one of the offers.”

“She’s not listening. Look, she’s gone to one of the places that rejected her and asked for an appointment.”

- “Why did that one reject her? Her protest involvement? Something else?”

“Money, I think.”

- “Wait, what is she doing now?”

“I think she just volunteered.”

- “So…she’s just going to work for them for free?”

“Yes.”

- “I can still make this work. It may take a little longer to get her into politics, but a background as a volunteer will look good to the other humans.”

“Oh, I don’t think getting into politics will be an issue.”

- “Why, brother, are you coming around?”

“Not at all. I am trying not to laugh at you, though. Maybe we should listen to her prayers for the Day of Thanks.”

- “Sure.”

~ “Gods, thank you for another year, and for the hardships I’ve endured, and thank you for finally butting out and letting me make my own way. Now, I prepare myself to help launch a new political party—”

- “See?”

“Shh!”

~ “…the Blue Party, devoted to the separation of church and state. Gods, priests, and avatars have their place in the temples, but not in the ruling of nations.”

“I—I’m…trying…not…to…laugh….”

- “Shut up.”

“If she gets into power and accepts your avatar, you’ll become the god of hypocrites.”

- “I am the God of Plans! I am Planning; I am Order! This is outrageous! I—I can still save this…maybe.”

“I don’t think so sister.”

- “Is it too late to pick a new hero? Maybe a troll?”

“You had your chance, now it’s our cousin’s turn again. And after watching you, she’s already chosen a human, too.”

- “But why?”

“She is the God of Chaos; this way, she figures she can just sit back and let it happen.”