My Boss' Girlfriend

My eyes looked intently at the open job listings in my laptop. I was bombarded with call center application forms like my IT degree didn't even matter. The stuff from my previous work was still on the table and it was my mistake of putting it in plain sight. 

"Everything I worked for just went down the drain! I swear I won't tag anyone in my Facebook again!" I vented my anger at the table.

One month earlier…

"Bobo!" My boss called my name.

I walked towards his office and asked, "Yes, Boss Drew?"

"Pack your things…" he trailed off as he shut his computer down.

"W-what?" My voice suddenly got wobbly.

He then stood up and said, "Did you forget? We're closing the office early because we made a reservation to the restaurant for our Christmas party."

I gave a small sigh and shook my head.

How could I forget our Thursday office party?

All their Fridays were fully booked until the New Year's so let's celebrate on a Thursday. That was what the boss suggested so how could we refuse! Now, we'd be going home late tonight and wake up early tomorrow for work. What a great idea!

We all went out the streets and instantly felt the cold breeze of the Christmas season. The holiday is a couple of days away so the road was quite packed with responsible gift shoppers. Unlike them, I tend to buy gifts at the last minute like a proper adult. I noticed that most of the offices in our building still had their lights up. Their boss probably planned their Christmas party on a Friday like a rational human being.

Everyone owned a car except for us two juniors so I asked my boss beforehand if I could ride with him. My colleague went with the others while I got to ride with my boss.

You might be thinking, Who wants to ride with their boss?

I do and let me tell you why. My mother was a teacher and she taught me that being a teacher's pet works. Well, this is the advanced form of it. In our industry, you need to have the values of an opportunistic parasite to survive and thrive. If my boss smokes, guess who's huffing and puffing next to him.

We were in a convoy but the traffic was so congested that we could barely move. This was a good sign for me since I could gather as much information as I want about his likes and hobbies. The conversation went so well that I could only react and laugh at his never-ending stories. A devilish smile that could rival the Grinch formed on my lips. All according to plan. I thought.

The car stopped and when I looked outside, we were already at the restaurant. 

"Go ahead and talk to the maitre d' for our reservation. I'll be with you shortly. "

I nodded and got out of the car while he was using his phone.

The restaurant Boss Drew chose was quite fancy and looked expensive. It had white tablecloths and a marbled counter paired with a glass window so that customers can see their workstation. All the staff wore an identical white shirt, black pants and a black tie usually meant the place was legit. 

We were all seated at the long table chit-chatting when our boss arrived with a gorgeous lady. He introduced her as his girlfriend and added that it was a coincidence that she works nearby so he invited her here.

I had a suspecting feeling that this was all an elaborate plan to impress his girlfriend. My main evidence was that she was way out of his league.

He raised his hand and one of the servers took his order.

I'm not gonna lie, but what happened afterward was pretty boring. We were just chatting about trivial matters such as sports and current news. My boss couldn't be bothered as he kept flirting with his girlfriend.

The server arrived and placed our first meal on the table. I looked at the meal and looked back at the server. I did it again. This is it? I thought they were rationing for the apocalypse considering the small amount of food on this plate. My disappointment just kept growing as each meal arrived. The plate seemed rather big, but the food only occupied less than half of it. I'm a big boy, you can't give me a small serving and expect a good Yelp review. 

Boss Drew called one of the servers and gave him his phone to take a group photo.

"Bobo! Sit next to my girlfriend, I want to be in the middle," he ordered as he walked to the center of the table.

We all smiled happily, but I could feel everyone's urge to get home early.

He signaled the others to take photos as well and they all gave the server their phones. He looked rather amusing as held so many phones in his hand. So, I decided to just ask them to send me our group photos later.

After that, we all exchanged greetings and said our goodbyes.

"Don't forget, we all still have work tomorrow!" he reminded jokingly.

The others had already gone outside except for Boss Drew and his girlfriend. He decided to hang out with her some more in the bar. I wanted to show my mother something so I snapped a photo of me and my boss without his knowledge. His girlfriend got included in the photo, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Nothing would make my mama prouder than seeing her son slither his way to the top of the corporate ladder. Tell me whose boots I should kiss to get that elusive promotion.

I caught up with them outside and managed to hitch a ride with one of my superiors. I wanted to sneak a nap, but he started talking about what happened earlier.

"Bobo, you know I love my job, but sometimes our boss just… makes it difficult."

He started complaining about Boss Drew's attitude and his decision-making. That he never considers our suggestion and ultimately does what he wants. He then used the example of our Christmas party that nobody wants on a Thursday and he did it anyway. By the end of the ride, we both agreed that our boss just used us to impress his girl.

I got home to my apartment and head straight to my bed. It didn't take a while before I started snoring.

The next day…

I arrived at the office and greeted everyone. "Good morning!"

Only a few greeted back since most of my colleagues weren't here yet. Today was our last workday of the year so I won't be surprised if many would show up late or not show up at all. 

Boss Drew wasn't here yet so I decided to slack off and post our photos on Facebook. I asked my superior who was also being lazy to send me some of our group photos last night.

"Hey, Bobo." he called me and sincerely asked, "Could you forget about the things I said last night? I had too much to drink and I didn't mean any of it. "

"Sure, no problem!" I nodded and replied instantly while regretting the fact that I didn't record our conversation.

It was almost lunch when Boss Drew arrived at the office. You know you have a lazy boss when the first thing he said after he arrived was where are we going to lunch? I quickly noticed that he was wearing the exact, same clothes last night. He smiles too much and encourages us to work hard.

My superior and I looked at each other and telepathically understood that the man got laid last night. 

It was actually kind of wonderful since he didn't bother us and even ordered pizza for everyone. I honestly think this is the best time to ask for a raise.

But everything changed when a madwoman with a garden shear stormed our office. She wore home clothes that were full of dirt and perhaps a child's puke smeared all over her chest. I could literally smell the stench from here. Her hair was in such a mess that we thought she was a crazy lady.

"Ma'am, excuse me? Are you lost?" Our receptionist asked her from a safe distance.

The crazy woman turned to the receptionist which made her step back.

"Where is he?" she asked.

Before the receptionist could reply, we all heard someone said, "Babe?"

We all turned to whom the voice came from and it was Boss Drew.

"You–" she slowly walked towards him with the garden shears in her hand and said, "I did everything for you…"

Her voice sounded like she had enough and her eyes looked so… dead.

Boss Drew with a wide-eye kept stepping backward until he hit our table. She was now within a hand's reach from him.

"I cleaned your house, I cooked for you, I wiped our son's shit and how do you repay me?"

She produced a phone in her other hand and revealed the smoking gun to him.

We all leaned back our chairs to see what's in the phone.

It was a photo of me and Boss Drew with his hand on another woman's shoulder.

Some of my colleagues' gaze went to me and I just slowly raised my hand in confusion.

It was a damning evidence presented by his wife and his stuttering murmur didn't help his defense. But she didn't let him off the hook as she read something from her phone.

"Hey babe, we're having too much fun and it's getting late. I'm just gonna sleep in the office," She even ridiculously imitated his voice as she read it.

"I called your office last night multiple times and you didn't even answer. Were you busy? Busy f– her? "

All our mouths were open since we all knew that it's about to go down. I turned to my superior and his phone was already recording. He put his thumbs up at me enjoying every moment of it.

Boss Drew finally found his voice and pleaded, "Please, let's talk about this at home. You're making a scene. "

His words completely backfire. It detonated something deep within her psyche and completely set her off.

She went full American Psycho and started chasing him around with her garden shears. Some of our colleagues gave way and went outside. What happened next was pure and utter chaos. She wanted to hurt him badly and drew blood. Pun intended. A lot of things were thrown from books, office-supplies to a wedding ring. A five, foot one woman brandishing a gardening tool kept charging at her cheating husband. I think the whole building could hear her screams and curses.

"Open your pants! I will cut that thing off! " She yelled at him.

The building security finally arrived and managed to separate the two, but not before she cut his face with her shears.

He was full of bruises and his face was bleeding from a small cut. His shirt was so battered that it looked like he got attacked by a raccoon. He tried to straighten up, but the tears on his shirt just became more visible.

He looked around the office and saw the havoc his wife caused. Our eyes met and I could see deep within his dark, hazel eyes that he blames me for everything that happened today.

Weeks later, I got fired for some trumped-up charges, but no one was surprised. They all knew that it was only a matter of time because one mistake was all he needed to bring the hammer down.

Now, I learned my lesson and I vow to never add my boss to any of my social media.

PS: I hoped my story could put a little smile on your faces! I thought writing is a great way to improve my English vocabulary so feel free to correct my grammar. Thanks for the awesome experience!