Beans and Booze

The coffee shop made my choice to work from home a more mature and accountable one, at least for those two to three afternoons a week.  I had to actually shower and work up an effort to care enough to make sure my clothes were somewhat matched and didn’t smell of my stale life.  My long curly hair also had to appear to be under control in same dull pony tail, or pulled together cohesively into a messy bun or tucked behind my ears.  Most of the time, I did pull off the illusion of creative women writing for the number #1 trendy national magazine on self-help and acceptance, how-to set reachable goals in all aspects of life and insights on how any women can live a better life, while looking and feeling their best inside and out.      

Beans and Booze, open 5am to midnight, serves one-of-a kind, every unique morning caffeinated drinks from early morning to 5pm and then—like magic, it turns into a bar hot spot that features the same kind of drink specials with alcohol instead of coffee.  

With every season, their drink menu changes.  The owner, Chloe, has become my closest friend as I spend a good chunk of time in her establishment going on over a year now.  

Our friendship started on a busy afternoon in September last year, when two employees called in sick, Chloe was beyond overwhelmed trying to run the cash register, fill drink orders and bus tables.  It took me a minute to run the pro verses con list in my head that I have to do when faced with a decision that could make me feel uncomfortable.  Once my ability to function was known, Chloe gave me a light-hearted joke nickname, “+/-” which all the Beans and Booze employees wrote on my drinks, bowls and plates.  The pros won on wither or not I should jump in and help--and not pack up my notebook and laptop and head home.  I started bussing tables and taking take-out drink orders by hand and handing pieces of my notebook paper to the other cashier Marie.  My winning pro list decision to help to that day came with the reward of free coffee for a month.   

From that hectic day on, Chloe begged me to take her up on a shift or two a week to help out.  My answer was always a no, thank you.  Chloe would dig deeper and tell me it might take my mind off of Brian.  I broke his heart by overreacting to a wedding proposal. I didn’t want to ruin our amazing relationship by changing it into something I didn’t think I deserved.  I regret it so much and can’t even tell Brian how I messed up because he won’t speak to me.  Every day for the past four months has sunk me into a depression and eating has been my only highlight.  I gained over 15 pounds.     

This fall season brought a warm autumn glow into Beans and Booze with lit candles on the counters and shelves, pumpkin and leaf decorations and small twinkle lights that surround the windows and doors with deep cranberry colored bulbs mixed with dark orange lights.  I walked to the counter and instantly drew in a long breath through my nose smelling the apple-caramel-vanilla-maple-pumpkin fragrance that hung in the air. 

“What do you think of this year’s fall season astrosphere?”  Chloe asked as she grabbed a large thick paper cup writing the infamous “+/-” with a brunt orange Sharpie.  

“Even the Sharpie marker is cohesive with the fall time décor.  That is a super fancy touch, Chloe,” I answered winking at her.  I looked around the tables and noticed that I was the only one here. “Huh….slow morning or what?” I asked her. 

She didn’t respond but walked into the back and brought out the easel and chalkboard that listed the new Fall Coffee Drink Specials.  

“Oh crap,” Chloe spat out.  “Look at the specials and I will be right back.  I forgot to put the pumpkin muffins in the oven.”  She turned on her heels and sped into the kitchen. 

“Ok,” I told her.  My eyes moved around the chalk written words on the board in front of me.  I needed to finish my feature article, “Fall into a Better Mind Set,” that was due in two days.  Distracted, I focused back on what flavor coffee I wanted.

I blinked, I blinked again this time squeezing my eyes tighter.  I glanced at the kitchen to see if Chloe was going to come marching out all proud of herself for creating new coffee concoctions that were catered perfectly for me.  When I didn’t see any movement, I said, “very funny.  Good one.  Ha-ha-ha.  You’re so good at describing my life, STALKER!”  I laughed.

The chalkboard had one drink listed:

Sinful Cinnamon Apple Cider, a fiery revenge of spiced hot apple cider to add some heat  to your icy heart jaded by not accepting the diamond ring from Brain and dumping him cause you got scared.  This sizzling hot drink will not only help you realize what you left behind, a loving and supporting man who would do anything for you but will help you drop those hard-to-lose fifteen pounds you gained pining away for your lost true love.  It’s time to burn the negative thoughts that broke a good man’s heart and set out to win him back for the scorching romance you two were meant to have.  Only one is available, as this delightful fruity cinnamon drink contains the mood for some red-hot sexiness brewed with forgiveness and a chance to make things right.  

“Hey Chloe!  I guess, after doing a pro and con list of my order….I’ll have the new Fall special.  Which by the way, is kinda hurtful sense Brian won’t talk to me after I didn’t take his ring—going on four long and painful months and the fact that you know how much I miss him….but ok.  I will bite.”  My voice faded as I moved towards my favorite booth in the corner.   Waiting for me was the cup Chloe drew a brunt orange  +/-  symbol, steaming a sweltering scent of fresh apples and spicy excitement.  I opened my laptop and went to work.  

It felt like hours passed as I sipped my one-of-a-kind drink and sent the editor my article.  I stood up and walked into the back. “Hello?”  I sung out.  “Chloe? Where are you and why isn’t there any customers yet?  What’s going on?”

No answer.  A nervous energy emerged and I checked the office, prep area and pantry, no one.  The ovens were off and the coffee makers.  The lights dimmed on their own.  I rushed back to my booth and grabbed my phone.  A text from Chloe that read, “Had to close up.  I hope you enjoyed your coffee.  I didn’t mean to upset you.  Meet us at 8pm tonight here at Beans and Booze for another fall special this time a boozy one.  The front door will lock behind you when you are ready to leave. Love ya.”

What in the world is going on?  This was almost too much, I thought as I double checked the door lock, making sure it was really locked.  I can’t believe Chloe choose such a meanspirited way to rub my biggest mistake in my face. I made it half way home when my dark wash jeans started to inch down.  I grabbed at the waist band and hiked them up.  By the time I reached my front door I had to hold my pants wadded in my fist or else they’d fall to the ground.  My sweater was heavy and awkward as I put my key into the lock.  I stepped inside almost tripping on the hems of the pant legs.  “My clothes, these new jeans are way to big.  How does that happen?  A new stretch material in jeans nowadays?”  I said out loud as I slipped into sweats and a t-shirt that also swallowed me as I tied the draw sting tighter.  “Am I dying?”  

Confused, I laid down on my lavender couch and retraced my steps from earlier.  Everything seems normal but I knew things weren’t.  I held my phone up to face and texted Chloe back:

I am freaking out.  I almost had to walk home naked because my clothes kept falling down.  WTH?  How and why did you go to all this trouble to make me feel worse about dumping Brian.  Why do all this?  Tell me now or I won’t show up tonight.  Please.  I am going crazy….

I pressed send but a message popped up that explained my message could not and will not be delivered. “That’s nice Apple,” I moaned and threw my phone on the cushion.

I am dreaming, yes…I must be, I thought.  I pinched my arm to wake up but yelped in pain instead.  I felt extremely tired and let sleep take me out of my misery.

I awoke at 6:45 pm with a jolt.  I closed my eyes and felt the excess material of my comfy sweats.  “Okay, so….’ I whispered to myself, “I lost weight with a life interfering apple cinnamon cider drink from my best friend who has turned into an unkind person overnight.”

Without any of my usual negative self-talk, I managed to shower, put on make-up, style my hair into a gorgeous up-do that I will never be able to repeat, so I used a half of a bottle of hairspray cementing it all in place.  I gently took my never worn or even tried on perfect gray silvery dress off the hanger and held it up to my body.  A tear welled up and I quickly wiped it away before it had the chance to ruin my make-up.   This dress Brian bought for me and had it delivered with a note that read:

For my future and love of a lifetime, you are my one and only.  I can’t wait to see you for our special dinner tonight.  Love, Brian

The worst night of my life, saying no to the man who I loved more than anything, just because I felt I didn’t deserve him.  Devastated, Brian walked out of my life and didn’t want to hear from me again.  A week without him made it clear I needed him, but he wouldn’t text or call me back.  I fell silent when I should have tried harder.

The coffee shop was dark expect for the autumn twinkle lights.  I opened the door and froze letting the chilly air push past me.  Brian was sitting at my booth, I slowly took a few steps and scanning the counter for Chloe.  No one was working, no other customers were here to have a few drinks after work.  We were alone.   He stood up and smiled.

I was bracing for an attack, his time to tell me how selfish and awful I am, but he just smiled at me.  My heart lunged and I felt dizzy.  His arm slipped through mine and he held my hand.  “I have missed you…so much.  I couldn’t talk to you because I felt so lost…

“No….” I interrupted him.  “I was so wrong to think I didn’t deserve you.  I need you. I love you.  I would do anything to take away the hurt I caused you.”  

Brian’s lips stopped me from rambling. We sat down and Brian slide a frosted glass filled with leaf shaped ice cubes and an amber liquid.  “It’s the Fall Special,” he motioned to the chalkboard with his hand.

Squinting at print I made out the name and descriptive details of the drink of the night.

Second Chance Pumpkin Pie Sangria, 1 cup of unforgiveness and white chilled wine, ½ cup of hope filled sparkling cider, 1 shot of pumpkin pie vodka thrown in with the best intentions, 1tbs of sweet sugar for both of your cravings, a dash of pumpkin spice to liven up the future, and cinnamon for a garnish of what’s to come.

I felt Brian’s arm around me and I turned into him.  I held on not wanting to ever let go.  He handed me my drink and we lightly tapped our glasses together and drank every last drop. 

The next morning, I awoke in Brian’s bed, wearing a glistening diamond on my finger.  I didn’t rush into the coffee shop but left after Brian went to work telling me, “I’ll bring home pizza tonight and we can stay in for a movie.  God! I love waking up next to you.”

I smiled and blushed, I was happy again.

It was busy, customers enjoying the new fall themed drinks, couples sharing breakfast together, business people on the phone with to-go cups streaming.  I relaxed at the normalcy.  Chloe was writing in chalk all the new fall specialty coffees that were now available.

I held my breath as I looked over her shoulder.

Pumpkin Marshmallow Fluff Latte

Pecan Pie Dark Brew with Oat Milk

Iced or Hot Candied Apple Cider

Butter Rum Brew with toffee whipped cream

Peppermint Vanilla Espresso  

Pumpkin Spice Cappuccino 

Maple Sage Latte

Iced or Hot Ginger Chai Tea

Salted Carmel Café Mocha

I whispered in Chloe’s ear, startling her, “I was hoping for a new fall flavor called

‘I Won The Lotto Latte’. 

“No such luck,” Chloe said hugging me.  “But, I was thinking of adding another new one called, ‘My Best Friend Saved My Life’ it comes with a side of a bussing and brewing coffee cause I am short staffed today.”

I laughed and grabbed my apron, tying it on.  “Looks like it’s too big on you, now,” Chloe winked.

“Yeah,” I answered.  “I think I lost some guilt weight yesterday.”

Chloe responded with an evil smirk trying not to laugh, “hopefully you can maintain that figure, maybe by picking up a shift a week to help out a best friend?” 

“I knew all this was a ploy to get me to work here,” I snarled at her as I happily filled a paper filter with coffee grinds.