I just started kindergarten this year and I love it. I live with my mom had dad in a three bedroom two bath house. I attend Forest City Elementary school and I really love it. Mom and Dad both work at the hospital so after school I ride the bus to my Grandma Irene's house. Grandma Irene is so much fun to be with. She has a special music box that plays the song " Someday my love " and when she opens it, we go on some magical adventures. We have been to Italy and seen the Leaning tower of Pisa, to Hawaii and seen a hula dance and to Australia to jump with kangaroos. Every day is an adventure. It was a Tuesday afternoon and I was excited to go to Grandma's house but upon arrival, I was greeted instead by my Aunt Kelly. I asked my aunt where my grandma was and she sat me down on her lap and explained that Grandma had become suddenly ill and had to be rushed to the hospital. My heart shattered, I was with her yesterday and everything seemed normal as usual. Was it something that she ate?
I begged my Aunt Kelly to take me to the hospital to see her. As my Aunt Kelly led me down the long corridor to Grandma's room, I was shaking but I just knew that she was going to be sitting up and laughing like she always does . When I entered the room, I was shocked at what I was looking at, that is not my grandma, I screamed. There were tubes coming from everywhere it seemed and Grandma wasn't laughing. I walked to the edge of her bed and put my hand next to hers and she reached over and grabbed it.
I stood next to her for what seemed to be a eternity until my Aunt Kelly told me that it was time for us to leave. I didn't want to leave Grandma there; I wanted her to come home with me. As soon as we left the room, the tears started falling and I had no control over them. My Aunt Kelly was trying to comfort me but I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted Grandma to come home. The next day at school was rough for me, all I could think about was Grandma. I was very quiet on the bus ride to Grandma's house but in my mind, I knew that she would be waiting for me. When I got to the bus stop instead of Grandma being there, my mom was waiting for me. She scooped me up in her arms and carried me in silently into Grandma's house. Once we were inside, she sat me on the couch and sat next to me and grabbed my hand. She told me that Grandma had a heart attack and that the doctors did everything they could to save her but that she went to be with Jesus. I screamed and cried; I begged Jesus to send her back to me. I needed her more than he did. My Mom grabbed me and squeezed me tight, letting me calm down the anger that I was feeling. After a while she explained to me that when you go to Heaven that you won't be sick anymore and that someday when I go to see Jesus that I will be with Grandma again.
Mom kept me out of school to go to Grandma's funeral. It was literally the worst day of my life. Mom sat me in her lap so she could hold me tight as we said goodbye. The next morning Mom told me that she would be picking me up from school until we could get the bus schedule changed. Mom was really quiet on the way home and so was I. When we got home, she fixed me a snack and sat down next to me. She lifted a bag off the floor and said "Grandma asked me to make sure that you got this. When I opened the bag, it was the music box and I took it and ran to my room. I felt sad, mad, angry and blessed all at the same time. I set it on my dresser and just stared at it, somehow it didn't seem magical anymore. I hadn't even opened the box for a very long time.
I was in middle school now and there was a dance coming up and I really wanted to go with Alan Reynolds. Alan was the cutest boy in school but I knew that he would never ask me. The night before the dance I was sitting in my room just dreaming about Alan. I picked up the music box and opened it to hear "Someday my love “. I was daydreaming about me and Alan at the dance. My Mom started calling for me and I closed the music box and ran downstairs, she handed me the phone. "Hello, I said and I was shocked to hear Alan's voice on the other end. He apologized for not asking me sooner but he had been so busy with football practice and he asked me to go to the dance with him. I was ecstatic, I danced all around the house and my parents laughed at me. The dance was magical with Alan, I felt like I was walking on air. Alan asked me to be his girlfriend and I eagerly accepted. We would hang out at the local burger joint and it was fun for a while but all he ever wanted to talk about was football and that was getting tiresome. It was the last year of middle school and then on to high-school, I explained to Alan that I needed to put all my focus on my studies and that I really wouldn't have time for dating. Alan was heartbroken but said that he understood.
I focused hard on my education. I wanted to be the best and make Grandma proud. In my sophomore year I was in advanced classes and by Junior year, I was told that I had enough credits to graduate early. I was so excited when I got home to tell my parents and they were super proud of me. I went into my room and was thinking about my future. One thing that I have always wanted to do was to backpack through the Appalachian Mountains but I never asked because I thought my parents would never let me. I picked up the music box and was dreaming about the adventure of a lifetime hiking through the mountains, when all of a sudden there was a knock on my door. I opened it and Mom was standing there smiling and super excited. "What is going on? " You are never going to believe the phone call that I just received " she said. Mr. Baker your social studies teacher called to ask if you would be interested in going backpacking with him, some other students and several parents in the Appalachian Mountains. My jaw dropped and for a moment I was speechless. Mom said " Mr. Baker needs to know right away. I ran downstairs and called him and told him that I would love to go. It was going to be a week in the mountains living off the land.
The trip was going to be in two days, so I started getting my bag packed and ready to go. I threw in everything that I thought I would need. Then I looked at the music box and put it in my backpack. We hiked for hours and it was exhausting. Our goal was to get to the top before we stopped. The weather was cold and with the elevation it made breathing more difficult. Once we reached the top the snow started falling and it got even colder. The snowfall was getting heavier and it was to the point where visibility was very poor. If we would of continued there were no guarantees that we might not fall off of the mountain. We tried gathering firewood but we were now in a blizzard situation. I honestly have never felt so scared. I sat down on the ground and felt some tears falling from my face. I reached into my backpack and took out the music box and imagined myself being in Hawaii with the nice warm weather. As I was listening to the song, in the distance I heard the whirring of blades on a helicopter and to my surprise it was hovering over us, sending ropes down for us to tie ourselves to and be airlifted to safety. Once I was in the helicopter a strange thought crossed my mind. Every time I wanted something really bad and opened up the music box, my wish would come true. Maybe it really was magical.
When I arrived home my parents were waiting with open arms. I told them that I was fine, I had my guardian angel Irene with me. I set the music box back on the dresser. I was getting ready to start college in the fall and I wanted to be a nurse just like my Mom and my Grandma. Thoughts of Alan and how he was doing kind of filled my head and I wondered if he was still in town. I opened the music box and was listening to the beautiful song and thinking about Alan. I was interrupted by Mom calling me to come downstairs for a phone call and you are never going to believe who it was. Yes! It was Alan! We talked for hours and he invited me to dinner. That night Alan told me that I was his first love and that he wanted me to be his last one. We spent every available moment together and on the day of my graduation from nursing school, Alan asked me to be his wife and I said yes. We have been married for almost a year and in early spring we are expecting our first child. The music box still sits on the dresser and whenever I have doubts about life, I open it and realize that I have all my dreams. When Jasmine is old enough to have a imagination, we will be having some great adventures together.
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2 comments
The story is a sincere and sweet one indeed. I do have a few questions though, like how does everyone in the story know what phone numbers to call? Silly things to think about maybe, but my brain picks up things like this. The overall arc and linear events are good, but I felt it was very much this happened then that happened, which distracted from the emotion and imagery. I do like the story, but I feel it could have been so much more, especially if you had put yourself into the character at each stage of their journey and had written...
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This is really helpful feedback. Thanks for reading!
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