Missing You

“I can’t wait to see her again!”

I quickly started packing my book bag, cramming the textbook and already finished homework inside and zipping it quickly. My best friend and classmate, Nikki Miles, looked at me curiously, raising an eyebrow.

“See who?”

I stopped in my tracks, settling back down in my seat, trying to figure out how to lie about this. I’m usually a terrible liar, so I tried to think.

“My aunt Sue. She’s in town and I haven’t seen her in forever! She really likes tea, so we sometimes meet and talk about it.”

Nikki is still looking at me, probably seeing through the lie. She rolls her eyes and just packs her things. I wanted to leave as fast as I could.

“Well, I will see you tomorrow!”

I say this and leave the classroom with a skip in my step. I hate lying to Nikki, since she has been there for me through some hard times, but I had a secret I kept from everyone, including my parents. As crazy as it sounds, there is a ghost that I meet with every Friday and have for the past few months. What’s even crazier, is that it is a woman that I used to know when I was a little kid. Being in high school now, it seemed like a lifetime ago, but ever since my family moved, I didn’t get to see Ms. Terry anymore. Until a few months ago that is.

           When I was very young, we had an elderly lady named Ms. Terry who lived next door and I used to spend so much time at her house. She was an amazing person, who always had her own garden full of fruits, vegetables and herbs and she would brew the most amazing tasting tea. It’s thanks to her that I love gardening so much and that I have a fondness for tea. My taste for it dwindled however, when we had to move for my father’s job. I missed her so much and until a few months ago, I didn’t enjoy tea anymore. I just couldn’t make it as good as Ms. Terry. Then one evening, I was home by myself, my parents trusting me without a babysitter and I suddenly had the urge to try to make tea again. I brewed it like my father does and tried to adjust the taste and it came out just as bland as usual. Thinking about Ms. Terry, I began to cry, wondering where she was and how she was doing. Suddenly, I felt a chill in the air and heard a voice.

“No one can make tea like I can! Only the best herbs will do.”

           I got goosebumps all over, because I could have sworn that it sounded like Ms. Terry was in the room with me. When I turned around, by God, there she was, sitting at my kitchen table! You bet I was in a lot of shock, but at the same time, I could have tackle hugged her. I tried to reach out and hug her, but we couldn’t touch, almost like she was transparent. She just smiled at me and that’s when the realization happened.

“Oh Ms. Terry… I miss you so much. What happened? Are you really…dead?”

           Ms. Terry nodded.

“Yep. My body decided it was time to go, but I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t just leave my little Tiffany behind without some advice.”

           I smiled at her being there, but then frowned.

“What’s wrong dear?”

“Do you really have to go? I know how messed up that sounds but, I wished we could have had more time together.”

“Well to be honest with you, I don’t want to leave yet anyways. Would you mind if I haunted you a bit?”

           Ms. Terry gave me a little wink, and thus began our tea sessions. She would tell me what to buy, from different herbs and types of tea or fruit and she would instruct me on what to do when making it, letting me try and write out all of the recipes that she used to love when she was alive. The reason why we meet on Fridays, is because my parents have a date night every Friday, which was helped because I insisted on it and now every Friday evening, I get to spend several hours with Ms. Terry, drinking tea and talking about life. She said that during the other days of the week, she would check on family members of hers that have grown up and would sometimes haunt her annoying ex-husband. Those stories were the best.

“That old fool Greg still tells himself to this day that he was in the right, even though he was a no-good cheater!”

           Ms. Terry leaned back in the rocking chair and I sat on the sofa, just listening to her rants.

“You don’t have a boyfriend yet do you dear? Don’t ever get married. It’s how they suck you in.”

           Ms. Terry gave me a wink and we both laughed.

“No. I don’t have a boyfriend and to be honest, all of the guys I go to school with are just too childish. I’d rather just wait till college to meet someone, maybe after.”

“That’s a smart girl. You go out and live your life. Build your career.”

           We attempted a fist bump like we used to, but my hand went through hers. We just giggled and sat back. I sipped the tea that we created this time, her old classic orange flavored black tea. Sweetened with honey and steeped low and slow. It brought back memories. I had a journal on the table, full of the recipes that she had been teaching me and I sighed when I looked at it. I knew that the inevitable was coming, and I still felt like I wasn’t ready for this conversation. The reason why Ms. Terry just means too much to me, is because many of my passions came from her and her wonderful spirit. Something about her personality just lights up the room. Not to mention that I never got to meet any of my grandparents, all who died when I was a baby. In a way, Ms. Terry felt like a grandmother to me. I could tell that Ms. Terry was thinking hard on something and I feared that she might have had the same thought that has crossed my mind. I love meeting with her, but at some point, I know she has to move on. I looked at her as she rocked in the chair, her bouncy white waves of hair, the same as I remember. Even though she was very old, her spirit was a fiery one, almost youthful. She looked at me and smiled.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

           I sighed deeply. I guess now would be a better time than never. She ended up asking more before I could speak.

“You worried about me moving on?”

           Her words were like daggers to my heart. I couldn’t bear to let her go, but I knew that I would have to at some point. She got out of the rocking chair and sat next to me. Even though she couldn’t give me a hug, having her closer, I could almost feel her warmth. I could almost smell her perfume, always mixed with the multiple aromas of her herbs and teas. Tears escaped down my cheeks.

“I just wish that we had more time. I wish you could be with me, to see me grow up, start my career. I wish you could be there with me when I do finally get married and have children. I wish that my own future kids could meet you.”

           Ms. Terry just nodded, looking sad, but accepting.

“It sucks that death is inevitable, but I will always be with you. In your heart and in that book.”

           Ms. Terry pointed at my tea recipe journal and I looked over at it, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

           “I’ll miss you.”

           Ms. Terry smiled at me.

“I’ll miss you too dear. If it makes you feel any better, we will meet again.”

           At that moment, Ms. Terry looked towards the ceiling and miraculously put her hand on my shoulder. This time, I could feel it. I could feel the gentle press of her hand and I took the full opportunity of this moment. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her, embracing her with all the love I had. She hugged me back and I could feel her love for me too. After a few moments however, and all too soon, I couldn’t feel her hug anymore. I unwrapped my arms from the empty space in front of me and glanced around the room. Ms. Terry was gone.

           I sat back on the couch, grabbing the recipe journal I had made and held it against my chest, allowing myself to grieve for several minutes. After I had cried out for a bit, I decided that I should call my friend Nikki, and see if she wanted to hang out tomorrow. We liked to go to the mall on Saturdays and I figured that she would be thrilled to go shopping. The first place I plan to visit, is the herbal shop there, where I can buy more tea to brew.