A lesson learned

"Dazzling, absolutely dazzling" I think to myself as I stare into Avery's eyes. I hold her close. I could hold her forever.

"Alright sweetheart, it's time for bed."

"Read me a story first Mommy!"

I smile before replying "okay, but only one."

She hops off my lap and wanders over to the book case.

Her face scrunches as she tries to decide on a book. She runs her fingers along the spines and quietly reads the titles to herself. She finally pulls a blue spined book off the shelf. She runs back towards me and jumps up on my lap.

"This one!" She says excitedly.

"Sweet Dreams" I read the title in a soft voice. Every line I read Avery grows closer and closer to falling asleep. By the time I reach the end, her eyes are closed and her breathing is even. I slowly move her to a cradled position in my arms. She runs her eyes and rolls slightly before falling back asleep.

I carry her to her room and lay her gently in her new big girl bed. She had just got it for her third birthday from me. She was so excited.

I walk slowly away the carpet muffling my footsteps. I glance back at her one more time "I love you Avery," I say into the darkness before shutting the door.

The dim lamp is the only thing providing light in my bedroom. It is just bright enough for me to see the framed picture in my hands.

The picture was taken in front of our small white house on a warm, bright summer day. Avery and James were wearing the biggest grin. Avery's arms wrapped around her father's neck. Their eyes matching in hue, staring directly at me, the sun was bright and made them squint slightly.

A tear slides down my cheek and lands on the frame, distorting the picture where it landed.

"Could it only have been a year ago?" I whisper

A year ago everything was perfect, I was newly wed, Avery was learning to read, and James always made every one laugh. Why did I torture myself like this every night? I just can't let the past go. If the past is gone, so is he.

I gently sob as I return the picture to it's spot on the nightstand. I know it isn't good for me to dwell on the past, I need to move forward with my life.

"Speaking of moving forward, I need to set my clock ahead, I can fix Avery's in the morning," I whisper quietly to myself.

I push the necessary buttons to make the time change. I fall back in bed not even bothering with the covers. "I could sleep for years," I groan to myself. I instantly fall asleep.

&. &. &

My eyes flutter open and glance about the room. I sit up slowly and walk towards Avery's room. I slowly, quietly twist the knob before opening the door. I peek in the room, the blinds are closed making the room quite dark. I tip toe to her bed and lean over and touch the edge. I feel around before finding that she's not there. "It's okay, she probably just got up," I think to myself.

I tremble as I search the house "Avery, Avery where are you?" I frantically bolt through rooms yelling and searching. I go through every single room at least five times before coming to the conclusion that she is gone. "Oh please God, I can't lose her too, not my baby!" I violently sob and rock back and forth on the living room floor.

"Call the police," I think aloud. I stand up still shaking and grab my phone off my nightstand. I dial and the phone rings in my ears.

"Nine one one, what's your emergency," a high pitched voice says through the speaker.

"My little girl is missing!" I practically scream.

"Calm down Miss, what does she look like, eye color, hair color, hieght?"

I take a deep, shaky breath.

"She is three years old, with beautiful deep blue eyes, dark brown hair, ummm… I don't think I know her exact hieght but she is little for a three year old, I'm sorry."

"That's alright mam, what is your address, I will have police dispatched their shortly."

"2406 Green St, Brainerd MN, 56401, please hurry!"

"I'm sorry mam, you must have it wrong, no one has lived there for over twenty years!"

"I've lived here for five years, I'm Cassie Williams!"

"Mam, you better come down to the police station!"

"Ok, I'll be there in 15, if it means we can clear up the address thing and get my baby home!"

&. &. &

" I've told you ten times already, my name is Cassie Williams, I have lived at that house for five years running, and my daughter, Avery Rose Williams is missing!"

"I understand that, but where have you been for twenty three years?,"

"I'm only twenty four years old!"

"Come with me please, I need to show you something," the officer says calmly as he stands up.

&. &. &

We pull into the town cemetery.

"What are we doing here?"

"Just follow me!"

We walk what feels like a mile before he stops.

"Is that not your name?"

I read it aloud to myself "Cassie Briar Williams, loving mother, died April twenty first, two thousand twenty."

"That can't be right that was yesterday, I shouldn't even have a grave yet, one I'm alive, two they wouldn't already have me buried the next day!"

"Mam, what year do you think it is?"

"I just told you, it's two thousand twenty!"

"No mam, it's twenty forty three."

"What, your crazy, stop with this nonsense and find my daughter!"

"Did you say her name was Avery Rose Williams?"

"Yes, don't you people listen?"

"Well that shouldn't be to hard, she's the mayor!"

&. &. &

"This is ridiculous, my daughter is not twenty six years old," I say as we sit in the waiting room.

"I'll tell you what, you see the mayor and if she is not your daughter we will leave immediately and inform everbody in the whole damn town about your daughter, okay?"

"Okay, whatever"

We sit silently for several minutes. I tap my fingers nervously.

"Officer Anderson and Miss Williams," a voice spoke, breaking the silence.

We stand and enter the mayor's office.

"She will be with you in one minute," a lady informs us before exiting the room. I refuse to get my hopes up, it's not her, it makes no sense. A side door opens and a beautiful girl walks in. She looks me in the eyes, it's her, with those eyes it has to be.

"Mom?" A shocked look is plastered across her face.

"Avery, but how?" My brain is completely befuddled, how could this be, yesterday she was only three years old, just a baby.

"...but...but your dead," she whispers.

I can't hold back any longer, I rush forward and hold her tight in my arms.

"I love you Avery," I whisper.

Everything starts swirling, everything goes black. Avery is gone, I can barely see my own hand in front of my face.

"Hello!" I yell.

"Hello," someone replies in a deep voice, far deeper than any I have ever heard.

"Who are you, what is going on?"

"I am time, I had sent you forward twenty three years to show you the power of living in the present, not the past"

"What do you mean?"

" Think about it, Avery had lost both her parents before the age of four, had lived in an orphanage until she was eighteen because neither of your families wanted her because she had been born out of wedlock, she had a horrible life and yet she let the past go and was happy, not saying she didn't think of you from time to time, but she didn't let it weigh her down as you do."

"I think I understand, I need to be there for the ones I have learn to appreciate the little moments."

"I believe you have learned your lesson."

Everything started spinning again!

&. &. &

My eyes opened, suddenly I was in my own bed. I sprang up and dashed to Avery's room. I slammed open the door and rushed over to her bed. There she was, my baby. She rolled over.

"Mommy, what are you doing?"

"Loving you, because every moment counts," I smile as I utter the words and pull her close. "This time I'm never letting go."