Tree of Life

I trudged through a foot of snow, squinting as frozen missiles pelted my goggles. The wind had a physical presence like a wall of water. I swam through the storm more than I walked. I desperately needed shelter. Peering through the barrage of snowflakes, I could barely make out a darkish line. I pressed forward, refusing to surrender to the irrational desire to lie down and rest.

The dark line turned out to be a forest. Once I entered, the relentless attack lessened. The wind howled through the conifer trees like wolves who lost their prey. I looked back at the snowy plain, hardly believing I walked through that nightmare. Sheets of snow hammered the ground. Snow devils crossed, disappearing then reappearing. It brought a picture of a giant ghostly yeti throwing a temper tantrum. The sight made me angry, and an uncontrollable rage burst.

"Not today!" I screamed. 

It came from deep within my soul. I screamed until I couldn't scream any longer. I'm a fighter who has had to scratch and claw for every inch I've gained in the corporate world, but I've never fought for my life. This isn't a hostile takeover. Mother Nature doesn't have a motive. She's just going to kill me because I'm here.

I squared my shoulders. I'm going to survive. I hiked deeper into the woods. Densely packed evergreen trees protected me from the wind but made for strenuous hiking. However, being short proved an advantage because the lower limbs were just high enough for me to hunch under.

After aimlessly hiking for over an hour, I spotted a massive tree standing alone in a tiny field surrounded by conifer trees. It didn't look like the other trees. It had plate-sized leaves with golden veins that faintly glowed. It stood only slightly taller than the surrounding trees, but the width of its boughs reached farther than its height. Snow filled the small field around it, but miraculously, under the massive tree, flowers and green grass flourished; not one patch of snow could be seen.

I navigated the snow and walked under the strange tree. Immediately, a blast of heat hit me, warming me so quickly that I had to shed my winter gear. I began to sweat. For a moment, I believed I had already died. I walked back to the edge and stretched out my arm. The eerie contrast of cold on my left arm and tropical heat on my right arm freaked me out.

Impossible!

Cautiously pressing on the ground with one foot, I systematically tested for a concealed hot spring but found nothing that could explain the heat. After an hour, I gave up trying and accepted the impossible with immense gratitude. I'm alive, and as long as this heat holds out, I won't freeze. A weight lifted, and exhaustion overwhelmed me, dragging me under like an avalanche. My eyes fell on their own accord. I gave in to sleep, laid against the massive trunk, and quickly passed out.

Something woke me—a noise. My adrenaline surged, alerting me to danger. Behind me, I heard a twig snap in two. I slowly stood and peeked around the trunk. A wolf sniffed the ground, emitting a low growl. He could smell me, and by the looks of him, he hadn't eaten for a long time. I gasped. Instantly, the beast looked up, and our eyes locked together. His growl intensified, and he cautiously approached. 

I shook, frozen with fear, and my fingers dug into the soft bark of the tree. The wolf made a wide circle, never taking his eyes off me. I couldn't move, paralyzed to the spot. Until now, I had always believed my ability to lead would take me through any situation, but I couldn't negotiate or leverage my way out. He has no hidden motive. He has nothing to trade. He doesn't hate me or like me. He's just hungry.

He hesitated only a few feet from me. He looked up, sniffed, then trained his focus back to me. I'm not sure why he hesitated, but it appeared to me he made up his mind to kill me. My fight-or-flight instinct kicked in, and I ran—no fight in this girl. I heard the wolf bolt. His furious bark and growl got closer. I knew he would pounce soon, but I refused to give up. Your entire life is supposed to flash before your eyes right before death, but for me, it was a ridiculous joke. I came to this wilderness leadership retreat to find my "inner" wolf. Now, I was about to be "in" a wolf. I felt his hot breath and knew he was about to bite into my leg. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack. The rustling of leaves. A sickening thud. A canine whine. Then silence.

My momentum took me into the blizzard. The temperature change knocked the breath out of me. I stumbled and fell - the sub-zero air hurt. My hands lost feeling as soon as I dug them into the snow to get back on my feet. Every exposed part of me began to tingle. I would die in minutes if I didn't get back under the tree. I turned towards the tree to see a large limb on top of the wolf. Blood oozed from his mouth.

I dashed back under the tree, immediately embraced by the tropical climate. I stayed on the opposite side of the dead wolf. However, somehow, I knew I needed to drag the body out into the snow, where he would freeze. If I didn't, the carcass would decay, and carnivores of all types would smell him. I plucked up enough courage to face the beast. I poked around, attempting to find the best approach. Pulling on his hind legs, I surprisingly found him easy to move. I dragged him through a carpet of leaves that made the task manageable. Once out from under the tree, I dropped him and returned to safety.

I began studying the strange tree and noticed knobs spread around the trunk protruding enough to be used as footholds. I carefully climbed, finding it easy, like someone had arranged the knobs exactly where I needed them. I sat on the first limb I came to, which was so wide I could have rolled over in my sleep without fear of falling off. I saw hundreds of limbs above me, with only the smallest amount of light penetrating the canopy of leaves on top.

Further down the limb, I heard what sounded like running water. I walked to the sound. To my surprise, I found a tiny waterfall. Looking up, I saw the waterfall flowing from leaf to leaf from somewhere above. I guess the melting snow from the canopy fueled this fall. Cupping my hands, I drank. Water never tasted so good.

While I drank, a bird landed on a nearby branch and began singing. I'm no bird expert, but this one appeared ancient, like it belonged to another period. It tweeted the most beautiful song, unlike any I've heard in New York.

"Aren't you a beautiful thing. How'd you get here?" I reached out, and it fluttered away, landing only a few branches from me. To my surprise, there were dozens of apples growing from that branch. I climbed to it and ate. Delicious! I picked as many as I could carry and went back to my limb.

Over the next couple of weeks, I converted my limb into a bedroom. The leaves made a soft place to sleep, the waterfall provided water, and in addition to apples, I found grapes, oranges, pears, bananas, and almonds.

I thought about this tree a great deal. How does it generate heat? How can it grow a variety of fruits? And almonds? Where did the birds come from? No matter how much I tried, I couldn't explain it. It just was. And I'd be dead if it wasn't.

One morning, I heard a helicopter. I quickly climbed down, threw on my coat, and ran out to the field, jumping and screaming my head off. Predictably, it didn't see me. How could it?

The following day, I heard the helicopter again. I didn't move. There was no need to freeze just to be overlooked. I closed my eyes, imagining my home and parents, regretting that I waited too late to make them grandparents. My career took first place. It's a shame. They would have made awesome grandparents.

A familiar smell jolted me from my daydream. Smoke filled my nostrils. The tree was on fire. Enormous flames engulfed the treetop, dropping fiery leaves and branches around me. I grabbed my coat, climbed down, and ran out from under the tree.

The fire grew impossibly fast, engulfing the entire tree. I couldn't believe what I saw. In minutes, the fire destroyed my source of warmth, food, and water. I sat in the snow crying, knowing I would die before this day ended. 

Suddenly, from behind me, I heard a helicopter hovering low. I turned, and the pilot saluted me.

The next thing I know, I'm flying in a heated helicopter, drinking a thermos of hot chocolate. The rescue crew told how they searched for our team and found everyone but me. They would have never found me if it hadn't been for the fire.

I looked out my window and saw the tree still blazing, sending black smoke high into the air. A helicopter miles away would have been able to see that smoke plume. My heart broke, and tears filled my eyes. I felt a significant loss - like I lost a loved one. I also felt ashamed. I never sacrificed for anyone. I only thought about myself. My career. My future.

I took one last look at my tree - the tree that saved me. I'm not going to live for myself anymore. I've seen a better way.