Vessel

You’re sitting down – just a passenger. You stare out the window, gazing past the blurred panorama of the world. Staring, entranced by the bustling of life the view before you has to offer. But the non-stop movement gets you dizzy after a while. They never rest, constantly keeping their paces.

You willed your eyes to leave the window. You look to the right, left, in front of you, behind you, where many other passengers sat. All of which were immersed with their own tasks; writing a journal, reading the news, conversing with their loved ones, their colleagues, their travel buddy. Yet again, the dizziness washed in.

Outside this vessel a restless world awaits. Inside this vessel a restless flock of striving beings were waiting to be set free. Outside and inside, every single being was occupied. This vessel is not stopping anytime soon, but you’re stuck. You’re lost – too far gone. You don’t know what to do, your thoughts have turned murky inside this moving vessel. You don’t know what to do once the vessel has reached its destination. You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know what to prepare, you don’t know what to aim for.

Instead, you sink in further, drowning in the limbo.

Snap.

“Hey, stop that. I’m here, you know. Try to get some rest, stop moving around like that,”

“Huh?” You turn your head. She’s as beautiful as ever, your sister. “Remember why we’re here,” She added in a mumble.

Why they’re there. Everything is tied to what awaits them after they get off. In the end, the reason for where each and everyone is where they’re at is for them to reach their end goal – some other place, another position, a different life.

Why were they there again? Why were you there?

“Just close your eyes and try to get some sleep, yeah?” She already had her eyes shut when you turned her way.

But closing your eyes wouldn’t pause time. Sleeping won’t give you back the time you could have had to think, to analyze, to breathe answers to all the ‘why’s. And then, there are also the ‘what if’s. What if closing your eyes is the best action for you now? What if it is not the time to think so restlessly? But what if you could have all your answers soon if you keep your mind going constantly in this pace?

You squeezed your eyes shut. The sleep realm had long since taken your sister away into its embrace. You counted the seconds within the dark void. Waiting, waiting for the same embrace to come, to claim him as well. Instead, the ticking of the time filled your ears. Your heartbeat started to double the larghetto of the analogue wristwatch ticking innocently somewhere.

Your eyes flew open. Even sleep did not welcome you. Oh, how you long for the blissful ignorance, however temporary it may be – anything but this aimless wondering would surely be a blessing.

“I don’t want to leave,” The wind howled, thunder and lightning dancing around them like a concert.

“You have to! You have to live!”

“If leaving is living without you, then I’d rather meet death with you,”

You cringed. That is a story, a very cliché story. You thought about taking out your notes and writing it down, then thought against it. You could do better.

You soughed. Your sister groaned, “Sleep,” She nudged your shoulder. You hummed in response.

Once again, you closed your eyes. Stories, you could get lost in them. You could try to escape your thoughts in the story world, somewhere you don’t have to bear the consequences of being the main character. Somewhere you can decide how luck pours its fortunes. Somewhere you can be in control.

The train shuddered to a stop. Is that it? Is this your final stop? Would the answer be here, waiting for you to come and claim it?

“What are you doing? This isn’t our stop,” Your sister raised her eyebrows.

You found yourself wondering, yet again. So many stops, so many options. What if for some reason you didn’t follow the writings on the small piece of paper and get off wherever you wanted? What if your destination is not where you were meant to be? What would you find, what would you lose, what locks you could have opened?

“We’re not even halfway there,” She sulked. “Stop moving around so much.”

The explosion jolted the Earth. Screams filled the train compartment and noises started to rise. Panic.

“What is it? What happened?”

“A bomb?”

“Terrorists?”

“It’s the end of the world!”

You looked outside the window, trying to make out what caused the ruckus. But everything was gray and ash and debris. And then it was red.

You shook your head, opening your eyes. You were back in his seat then, safe and sound. Everything was silent as ever. The only noise that would not stop comes from within. His mind wondering restlessly, aimlessly. What if it were to happen though? An attack; would it be aliens? Would it be radicals? Would it target someone specifically? What were the chances that you were the target? What were your chances to survive? What were the chances that there would be any attack whatsoever?

“Sleep,” Your sister nudged your shoulder again.

Bus. Tram. Ferry. Train. Ship. Plane.  

All these modes of transportation, always on the move, always carrying people around to where they wanted to be, needed to be. Bodies within a body. You could go and view things from a wider lens: the Earth, the galaxy, the universe. All these moving objects carrying other moving objects within them. Movement within moving objects. Yet you can also taper down your lens and focus on the little things. You can turn your focus to yourself instead.

So what if the vessel is your body and you are the mind? And what if the vessel is Earth and you are a puny mortal? What if the vessel is life and you are a lost soul?