Silence in Court

“Hi” The voice was pleasant enough. “I am Scotty’s imaginary friend,” it continued, in as pleasant a voice as could be mustered by a middle aged, privileged, white imaginary man. The was nobody in the dock of the High Court, but there was a screen set up to disguise the identity of an imaginary person appearing at a trial via video link.

“Scotty sort of conjured me into existence when he was about four years old. It was just after he had put a hammer though the aquarium his dad had.He needed someone to blame, so poof, I appeared as the fall guy for his crimes and misdemeanours.”

“And do you have a name?” asked the barrister. She was trying hard to keep it all on track. With many trials under her belt, she thought she had seen it all, but this was the first time she had the opportunity to question someone that was made up. It was one for the ages. Plenty of times she dealt with fabrications, perhaps even partook in a few herself, but never in corporal from.

“Oh, sorry. My name is Josh.” After a short pause, Josh continued. “His dad really loved those fish, I don’t think he ever got over the malfeasance of his son.”

“And you say you were – er,” she looked down at her notes, “conjured into existence?”

“Ah yeah. As an imaginary friend I only appear when it suits Scotty and disappear when not required. You get to see quite a bit of action as an IF. That’s what we call ourselves. There are a lot of use around.”

“And precisely how are you related to the accused?”

“Well like I said, he conjured me into existence. I was the brother to play with when there was nobody about, the person to confide in, and of course, the fall guy as I mentioned earlier.

“So you never actually committed any of the acts Scotty is blaming you for?”

“Well no. As an IF, I don’t have any free will. I only get to be around when Scotty wants something from me, either to keep him amused to take the blame for something he either has done or is about to do. As I said, you do get to see a bit of action, the scheming behind the scenes, or the knifing was a good one, and the disappearances.”

"Disappearances?" prompted the barrister.

"Yeah, colleagues, money, careers, that sort of thing. Scotty was a master at being you mate, then calling me up to do the deed. To be honest, it gets a little dispiriting having to do it and then not get any of the benefits.”

“So why do it?” she posed, trying not to lead the witness.

“Like is said before; no free will. I must do what Scotty consciously or unconsciously wants. That have gotten him into trouble a few times where his dark side has been ruminating in his dreams and I have been able to pop out and have some fun.”

She continued to probe. “So as a work of fiction, you can only do what Scotty can imagine you doing and what he lets you do?” she asked.

“Yep that’s it. In the early days I didn’t appear, but was merely alluded to. But as Scotty got older and more powerful, is started off as a bit of an apparition, with people getting fleeting glimpse of me as I fled the scene. Then we he got that job in marketing, well whamo – there I was. I got a desk outside his office for all to see.”

“So why do you think he is letting you testify here?” she asked

“If I wasn’t fictional, it would be a real quandary, but that old lack of free will means I am always doing what I am supposed to do, and that really gives me a lot of peace of mind.”said Josh, who was becoming more relaxed as the proceedings wore on.

“Does it have any other upside?” she asked.

“Well yes. It means that everything I say and do is what Scotty wants – if I make an admission of something here, then is might as well be straight from his mouth – putting me on the stand is a masterstroke.”

“So the fact that Scotty is letting you testify must mean something. What do you think that is?” she asked.

“Objection,” boomed the voice from across the courtroom. “Calls for speculation on behalf of the witness.” The wraith in the cape who was mascaraing as a defence attorney stood up and make his presence know with a flourish of gown and wig.

“Your honour, if Josh is a manifestation of Scotty’s will, then it isn’t speculation, and whether or not he is forms part of essence of the trial. If you allow that objection, you will fundamentally be prejudicing the trial.”

The Judge appeared to be buffering while he considered the arguments. The first time he did that in courtroom was a little off putting for everyone, but once they got used to it as normal behaviour.

The Barrister was gleeful deep down inside. Her crazy hunch that Josh was actually Scotty’s imaginary friend had paid off and this trial was going to be simple. It could not be easier that having one part of someone’s mind lay out the truth the other part was looking to conceal.

“Overruled” was the final verdict from the Judge. The Barrister fist pumped under her desk. A tiny smile appeared, quickly erased by her courtroom poker face. “You may answer.”

“Repentance.” Was the answer from Josh. “Scotty is generally a good egg, and he is the kind of guy who will want to leave this place having a clean slate with the guy upstairs. He didn’t really have plausible deniability with the big fella for some of the stuff I have done on his behalf, so I guess that this is the purge he needs to make sure that he takes the right turn at the entrance to the pearly gates.”

“So this is effectively Scotty in the confessional by proxy. His way of confessing, but not having to be seen to do so.”

“Spot on!” said Josh.

“The barrister drew herself up to her full height. “Well Your honour.” She said triumphantly. “On that admission of guilt from the accused, the prosecution rests.”