I can't pay attention (story of an ADHD person struggles)

My name is Annie and I have ADHD and ADD and OCD and bi polar. My parents want me on meds, but I don't want to be. Meds might help me find a hobby. I am hoping I can find a hobby to keep my mind busy. I have tried coloring and can never focus long enough to finish a task. ADHD is hard to overcome at this point. I am eager to find a way to keep myself focused not involving meds. I am failing in school due to my ADHD, ADD, and OCD. My teachers say I am distracted easily. One minute I can be doing something and then move to a different task, I will forget what I am doing. I wanted to try a new hobby but I can't keep my focus. I get mad easily when a task isn't perfect. When my room isn't clean I get mad and then I get distracted, nothing will become done. My teachers and parents notice my distress and frustration when I cannot complete a task or hobby. What is an ADHD kid supposed to do? I believe maybe my teacher can find me a referral to gain a hobby 100%. I want to be a writer, so mom bought me a laptop to type my stories and brainstorm ideas. I want to write adult and children's books, possibly a career. I am willing to try the meds and hopefully gain focus and a better attention span. So as I sit here and write I am trying to stay focused on the task at hand. I struggle to find a hobby to keep my sanity and attention. I wanted to be a writer in the worst way. But my attention span isn't good. I sit down and decide to write a 1000 word story about my struggle with ADD and ADHD and OCD and bipolar, hoping someone can relate to my story. I want to be able to focus on tasks and not be distracted by other stuff going on. I wanted to become famous and rich producing stories for young and old readers. Keeping attention to details is hard and making sure that I make sense with my stories. Children can relate to the struggle with the ADHD and ADD. The OCD is me being a clean freak. The bipolar I can be happy one minute and mad the next. My parents mention walking on egg shells type idea. It's hard for them to say anything without me flipping my shit. I don't take criticism very well. Learning the way around the ADHD is different for me. I don't want to be distracted with a task at hand. With the new meds I have picked up two new hobbies, coloring on my phone and typing stories on the computer.

I want the hobbies to benefit me. So I can become more focused on tasks. I get distracted quickly, making little tasks and distractions possible. Doctors have me on Adderall, it's making me insane and hallucinate. Hallucinating is like hearing tiny voices telling you to do something or hearing voices in my head and me responding to them and there's nothing there. The meds have crazy side effects. I am considering therapy and counseling. School life has been difficult, I have to have a laptop with me at all times. The laptop is for school only! But mom got me one for Christmas. Writing is a dream of mine and I love to write. I want the world to see a kid with ADHD, ADD, OCD, and bi polar can write a story worth publishing. We are different and that's okay. I love writing and being special needs are okay, ADHD is something everyone fights with and I'm just OCD about things being perfect. BUT focusing is important to me and I want everything to be perfect for when I have my own kids and they are fighting a disability. My future kids need to know that being special needs is okay and being on meds are okay. I got bullied in high school for being spedecial as they put it. But I have learned to overcome that part of my life. With the help of teachers and my parents I have learned to give some and take some, But that is okay with the life lessons. When you are disabled and have the problems I have you learn to treat others the way you want to be treated and yes the meds made me hallucinate but I learned to deal with it. Sometimes you have to learn ways of dealing with the problems that god provides you with. God made us special in our own ways.

The day when I started doing things on my own my parents were in shock. They thought I was on a good path. But then I started turning to drugs and that really messed up my focus trying to do a hobby to stick with. The drugs sent me to rehab and made me realize what I have to live for. I want to be able to have kids and watch them grow up. Someday, my life will be back to normal and I will learn how to be creative with my feelings, that is why I turned to writing as my hobby. I can focus on writing well. Next time you pick on someone who is special needs their focus could be caused by ADHD and all that and they can't focus. Don't judge a book by it's cover before knowing the person. Judging isn't okay, that person could have ADHD or ADD, even OCD and bi polar. JUDGEMENT ISN'T ALLOWED! LOSING FOCUS HAPPENS. It is not easy being special and trying to get a hobby. Focus takes meds and practice.

Get help if you have a focus problem it is worth it and you are WORTH IT! FIND A HOBBY. Make the effort to find something creative. STAY POSITIVE! THANK YOU!