5 comments

Creative Nonfiction Science Fiction

3 minutes

Evan has not paid his rent for four months. His landlord, Mr. Porter has been patient with him because he knows that Evan lost his job six months ago and has to use his savings to pay other bills including child support. Evan feels bad for not paying rent and plans to go to the bank to take out a loan. Before he goes to the bank, he takes a few minutes to nap. While he is sleeping, he hears loud knocking on his door and a loud voice screaming his name:

“Evan! Evan! I know that you are at home! Your car is parked outside! Come out here, now!”

Evan ignores it at first by burying his face in his pillow and pulling his blanket over himself, but knocks get louder and louder. The sound caused an annoyance. Evan had a long night at his friend’s party and was a little hungover. Evan needed the sleep but wanted the loud noise to go away more. As he walks to his door, the thumps hit his eardrums. He takes a break to rubs his eyes, closes them, holds his head then exhales. He continues to see his door throbbing and looks in confusion. Evan says to himself, “What in the hell? “He opens the door and sees Mr. Porter son at the door. Evan speaks:

“What’s the matter, Damien?”

“You should be ashamed of yourself for taking advantage of my father. You know he is old and can’t stand up for himself. So, I’m going to do it. Evan, I’m tired of your games! Where’s the rent?”

Mr. Porter is looking up from the floor level telling his son to come down and to leave Evan alone.

Evan gives Damien a hard stare, grins, and says, “This is your father’s place, not yours. I don’t have to answer to you. Your father is calling you. Now be a good boy and listen to daddy.”

As Evan closes the door, Damien uses his foot to stop the door. Damien enters Evan’s apartment. Evan’s rage mixed with Damien’s led to Evan grabbing Damien and throwing him down the staircase. Damien gets up and yells.” I’m calling the police!” Evan ignores Damien nonchalantly walks past Mr. Porter and Damien and heads to the bank.

Evan is greeted by the banker:

“Hello, good afternoon welcome to Citibank. What brings you in today?”

“I’m looking to take out a personal loan. I’m in the process of changing jobs and need some money to catch up on some bills.”

“What is your name?

“Evan Piston.”

“Mr. Piston, do you already have a relationship with Citibank?”

“Yes, I do. I’ve been a customer for twelve years.”

 A bank teller who knows Evan says:

“Hello Evan long time, no see. How’s everything?”

“Not too good, I hope everything is will get better.”

The banker says:

“I’m sure we can help you, Mr. Piston. Come with me to my office.”

The banker processes the loan application. Evan’s loan is denied. Evan is furious and starts complaining on why he was denied. The banker explains that that late credit card payments and maxing out his line of credit caused a negative effect on his credit score and that he would have had a better chance if applied earlier. Evan doesn’t like the explanation and causes a huge scene. The security guard escorts him out. He storms out the branch and kicks the door as he leaves.

Evan checks his email to see if any of his job applications or interviews landed. As he scrolls through his phone, each rejection was a stab in his heart:

-Thanks again for your interest in our organization and best of luck with your job search.

-Unfortunately, our team did not select you for further consideration.

-We ended up moving forward with another candidate, but we’d like to thank you for talking to our team and giving us the opportunity to learn about your skills and accomplishments.

-We will be advertising more positions in the coming months. We hope you’ll keep us in mind and we encourage you to apply again.

-We wish you good luck with your job search and professional future endeavors.

Evan sees an email from his old school, his former college professor is looking for an assistant. Evan was close to his teacher and decides to call. When he calls, his former classmate, Patrick picks up the phone. Evan and Patrick talk about the old times with the professor. Patrick tells Evan that Professor Pacheco made him the hiring manager for the position. Evan emphasizes how he needs the money. Patrick hires him and asks him that he could start now. Evan is glad to come and can’t wait to see and thank Professor Pacheco and Patrick. Evan arrives,

“Hey Patrick, thanks for the opportunity. Where is Professor Pacheco?”

“Professor Pacheco isn’t here. He didn’t answer his phone He must be running late. He wouldn’t want us standing around. This is what he is working on.”

Patrick shows Evan two weird watches with dials and buttons.

“This is the time watch, Professor Pacheco’s latest creation. It allows a person to travel in the future up to one hundred years.”

“Time travel. This that possible?”

“Professor Pacheco figured it out. The only catch is that the time travel lasts for three minutes. It is still in the early stages.”

Evan is thinking about his money problems going away and says, “When this is released, the professor would be a rich man.”

“Do you want to try? The professor showed me how to operate it.”

“Of course!”

“How far in the future do you want to go?”

“Thirty years!”

Patrick activates the watches. They are in the same room as they were in the past. Not much has changed. The television is playing a commercial for the American Music Awards for 2050. Patrick is in disbelief. Evan pulls out his phone and sees that the date is September 4th, 2050. He asks if Patrick ever did a Google Search of himself to see how successful he will become. Patrick said he never thought of it. Evan looks up his name and sees, Murderer, Double Homicide, and Killer next to his name. He is confused. Patrick tells him that might be someone with the same name and to do a Google image search. They both see a mug shot of Evan. Evan reads the article about his arrest. According to the article, Patrick killed Professor Pacheco and Patrick and attempted arson on the present day, September 4th, 2020. Patrick looks at Evan with suspicion. The watch transports them to the present. Patrick doesn’t turn the watch off correctly.

Patrick tells Evan, “I’ll kill you before you kill me.”

“I would not try to hurt you of the professor!”

“Yeah right! I know you want the money. You were always money hungry!”

The two fight and argue. The neglected watch causes a fire. Patrick foot touches a power cord and gets electrocuted. The police and fire department arrive. Evan is arrested. Evan denies causing the fire and murdering the professor. The police show Evan a suicide letter by Professor Pacheco. They accuse Evan of making the letter to cover up the murder. Evan is on trial. School alumnus testifies that Evan fought Patrick back in school and that Evan had a fallout with Pacheco years ago. The banker and teller testify that Evan made a scene at the bank. Damien talks about how Evan attacked him and accused him of Elder abuse against Mr. Porter. The court gives Evan a guilty verdict. Evans starts to cry.

September 05, 2020 03:40

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5 comments

Kate Winchester
22:42 Sep 11, 2020

Hello Henry, I too read your story as part of the critique circle. Your take on the prompt was creative. :) I liked that some of the events unfolded before the time travel part of the story. I think that your story is fast-paced, and I think that works well. My only critique would be is that it is a little choppy because it jumps between so many scenes. It was alot to take in. I was definitely not expecting the ending, though. It was a great twist!

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Henry Briggs
03:56 Sep 12, 2020

Thank you for your kind words.

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Andrew Krey
15:22 Sep 10, 2020

Hi Henry, I read your story as part of the critique circle, and enjoyed it. I liked how it quickly spiralled out of control with one piece of infrormation. When it said the professor was dead too, my mind went to a frame up by Patrick, who needed a scapegoat for him killing the professor...but it backfired. It was an interesting spin on the prompt. I noticed a few minor errors (as expected with the short deadline), if you’re keeping your own updated version of the story let me know and I’ll re-read and highlight them for you. Happy ...

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Henry Briggs
03:57 Sep 12, 2020

Thank you for your kind words.

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Andrew Krey
09:34 Sep 12, 2020

You're welcome

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