Why?

"Why....???" Annie voice trailed off in a desperate plea for understanding as she picked up a red cup coated in an unidentifiable goo.

"This," Steve indicated to the destroyed home, "is what happens when you let alcohol into a party."

Annie looked like a war veteran staring at the cup, her eyes looking at the hours that had passed to cause this destruction. Probably reliving the moments where she decided it would be a good idea to provide beer, thinking it innocent fun. "I didn't know."

Steve put a gentle hand on her shoulder, looking into her vacant, despondent eyes. "How would you have known?"

"You warned me!" She screamed, her eyes suddenly waking up looking like a frenzied animal in a cage looking for a way to escape. (A little scary, it's good that I'm the narrator and not Steve) "And look what not listening to your advice did to me! My house is covered in sticky bear, broken furniture, semen covered cups, a destroyed lawn, and disgusting bedsheets!" She screamed, throwing the supposedly semen covered cup across the room. She sank to her knees, tears streaming down her face, makeup pathetically smearing. "And my parents will be home in nine hours." She blubbered, her voice muffled as she buries her face in hands.

Steve shakes his head in vague annoyance as he watches his friend slowly break down from post traumatic stress. He squatted down slowly in front of her, like an angel from above coming to bring salvation to the lowly. "Girlfriend." He stated, giving her the look of 'pull it the fuck together or I will pull it the fuck together for you'. "We can do this, this house, by the time we are done will look like you cleaned all weekend rather than party all weekend and your parents will think you're the most responsible little girl on the planet. We just need gloves and coffee, lots of coffee and lots of gloves, because honey I don't want to touch any semen, I don't know why you picked up that cup with your bare hands. We might need some vinegar too, to help get rid of the smell." He scrunched his nose as he sniffed in the smell of teenage bodies that had sweated too much. "Come on," he said lifting her up, half dragging, half guiding her to the cleanest seat at the dining room table. "You just sit here and contemplate your life choices and get over yourself while I go get the supplies." He then turned briskly on his heel and walked out the door like a soldier preparing for war. (He was).

She took his advice to the letter, I don't even think she breathed honestly, I was slightly concerned for her. This catatonic state was the state that Steve found her in toting a bag of cleaning supplies and coffee.

"Girlfriend, get the fuck up, we have work to do!" He said throwing a pair of gloves at her. "I will start in the kitchen, that's the most devastated region of this house, it's like the nuclear zone filled with pizza crust, sticky beer and other things, and god knows what, I'll probably find a dead body." He rolled his eyes. "Now you will start cleaning the rest of the downstairs, wipe down every surface with vinegar, pick up all the trash, throw away broken items if you can't fix them, and vacuum, vacuum, vacuum, use this if there's sticky spots on the carpet. It will get it out, and above all, don't look too closely at what you find." He shoved a bottle of pet carpet cleaner into her hands and ushered into the living room.

For the next hour I watched as she scrubbed vigorously at the surfaces, scrunched her brow in confusion at suspicious stains. And occasionally gagged when she realized what she was cleaning. As she was scrubbing the couch of stains she muttered to herself, 'I don't think I can ever sit on this couch again.' Rather than burning the blankets and pillows like she wanted to she threw them into the washer with plenty of soap. Maybe too much soap, but I didn't blame her.

After about another hour of frenzied cleaning Steve walked in. "Honey," He said looking around. "How you doing."

"I think I'm almost done, I just need to clean the bathroom down here and then we can move on. This wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." She closed her eyes and breathed deep.

"Yes honey, it's not that bad, it was bad, but I've seen worse." Okay I just have to finish up a couple of things in the kitchen and then I will inspect your work to make sure it's top notch, anything less will make your parents suspicious. She nodded and turned, walking slowly away.

As we walked back to the kitchen he heard a scream. 'Jesus' he thought 'is there a rat?' He quickly turned around walking toward the bathroom when Annie came running and attacked him in a hug, sobbing. "There's a person in the bathroom, there's a person in the bathroom!"

"Honey, honey, HONEY!" He said slowly extracting himself from her tight octopus-like grip. "Is this person drunk?" She nodded like a little child. "Are they passed out?" She nodded again. "Okay, I'm going to go drag him to the kitchen and if he wakes up we'll explain he was drunk, if he doesn't wake up by the time we're done, I'll take him home, I know where he lives okay?" She shook her a little. "Okay?" She nodded and whispered "okay."

He nodded, sighing a little as he walked to the bathroom. He grabbed the legs of the intruder and began dragging him out of the room. Wrinkling his nose at the smell of the boy he was dragging. 'You need some deodorant and maybe a shower in vinegar.' (I don't know why he thinks vinegar fixes everything.

"Okay girlfriend, go clean that shit, hopefully not literally. You got this." She gave a weak smile and thumbs up.

The rest of the cleanup process went smoothly, with disgusting bedsheets returning to their innocent clean smelling self. Surfaces becoming smooth and sparkling, trash disappearing and a body being taken home to present to the very upset parent.

"Honey, this looks amazing, you have exceeded my expectations, even the carpet is sparkling!" Steve praised, now let's never do this again, and next time listen to your best-friend who's the wisest one in the world.

She nodded, her face covered in fatigue. "Yeah, never again."

"Now I bought us some pizza and popcorn, so come on, lets go sit on that couch you never want to sit on again, eat some pizza and watch some movies and pretend we are the most innocent teenagers on the planet who didn't just have a wild disgusting party." He smiled, handing her a box of Hawaiian pizza.