The Departure Of Lady Luck

Henry fidgeted uneasily and shifted his entire weight to the other leg, dangerously pushing it towards an inevitable collapse for an umpteenth time. The weather wasn't very helpful; it never was, in this particular office. Not that he had had a firsthand experience of others. There were literally uncountable ones. 'The Department Of Sorrow', however, was infamous for its particularly troublesome crowd, and the least pleasant in terms of ambience, and otherwise. Thousands of people wailing and screaming, trying to get a compensation for their earthly losses in terms of monetary or acts of good faith, were highly despicable in his eyes. The way he saw it, these idiots took the belief 'everything happens for a reason' to its literal extreme. Like that old lady tramp, trying hard to make resistant tears make an appearance and show her intense pain to the head of office, the sympathetic supreme, that she had undergone by the death of her beloved (so she said) dog-of whose name she couldn't remember-and her loneliness warranted a 'reasonably' heavier wallet for cheerful survival. The office of foul play condemned her claims to be off the grounds, as the dog had NOT suddenly had the urge to end its life and jump in front of the incoming car, but had somehow been convinced physically by the lady to do so. She would be hearing from 'The Office Of Karma' over this. He also didn't have much admiration for 'The Office Of Karma ', which on a daily basis dealt with people who believed they had been misjudged on their past deeds and actions and warranted a further investigation into their cases before being subjected to justified earthly hardships. Take that gentleman, in the brown suit, Mr. Macbeth for instance. He insisted he was talked into murdering his boss by his wife (whom he in a not-so-gentle manner referred to as 'witch'), was there to file for a reassessment on the inevitable downfall of his career. On the way back, he would also need to consult a divorce lawyer.

Ah, lawyers. They were lined up in Administration Affairs seeking a practicing and consulting permit. But as far as the administrators were concerned, the biggest mistake in the history of human existence had been the creation of lawyers, second only to making 'the functioning of heavenly forces' open for public approach. Humans have the misfortune of being aware of their intelligence, which had led them to aim at a civic society. The problem was, the only civil thing on earth were the animals. Their instincts had made the law and judiciary on earth seem as an exercise of wits and reasoning, to a point where these lawyers fought more over what to call truth, than truth itself. The office was clear on its stand, no lawyers allowed. It was bad enough dealing with applicants directly, with their misguided sense of right and wrong of their methods of working. The last thing they wanted was to be questioned on their authority to judge right and wrong. No, this was not earth, for heaven's sake.

Henry shifted his gaze again to the line ahead. He believed at least his questioning warranted serious thought on these mighty powers' part. He was in a queue at 'The Department of Fate Elements'. He finally reached the inquiry office, and along him tailed a highly displeased woman with her sense of misery quite evident, her head held high in the air, determinedly looking away from him. The girl behind the counter asked in a monotonous tone-

"Your reason of approaching the bench?'

Henry cleared his throat, and ranted "Um, I am here to seek a substitution for my Lady Luck." The woman beside him gave a disgusted look to go along the line.

"Your reason for a substitute warrant?" the girl asked, working on a typewriter effectively but in a bored manner.

"She is non functional, as I have mentioned in my written appeal and countless visits before." he said.

"Have you seen your mandatory counselor?"

"Yes yes, we both have. Can we hurry this up, please?"

"Sir we expect a more patient attitude on your part."

"Then you can drown your expectations, girl, with this man here." This came from the lady in questioning, Henry's Lady Luck.

"Mam, please. Can I see your counselor's note, please?" The girl asked. Henry handed over a file of documents aggressively. The girl jumped to the final notes, gave a cursory glance, and continued.

"Sir it says here you have been openly abusive to your-"before she could finish, Lady Luck broke down into a speech with tears "Abusive?! Abusive is an understatement! This man has no ounce of humane gratitude! Never, never in our whole co-existence-"

"Gratitude?!" Henry growled. "Gratitude for what? She is unbelievably inefficient! She has been ignorant of my needs ever since childhood! I have been trying to get her changed since ever! Forget my wishes; she never even won me a damn game of dice!"

"See? See?! Never once in his life has he ever included me in his prayer of thanks!! Look at my resume! Not one, not a single reference to go with! Where am I to be employed with this record by this ungrateful creature?" Lady Luck screamed.

"Sir, madam, please! Please behave yourself. We have decorum to maintain." The girl in the counter said wearily. "Now, sir, you are aware of the inquiry in order?"

"Yes, I am." he said stiffly.

"You maintain you have not been over demanding of your Lady and you haven't been inadequate in your efforts and trials?"

"Of course not" Henry said through gritted teeth. Lady Luck gave a false dry laugh.

"They are practically nonexistent, so yeah, he hasn't been inadequate in efforts." she said nastily.

"Shut up! See?! She denies her part of working entirely! Wants me to slog off my socks into death before she works me into my much deserved success!" Henry shouted.

"Success? You don't want success from me, you want avoidance of failure! With your talent it's impossible for me to work!" Lady retorted.

"I am a good actor!"

"You are a poor judge of acting, if you believe that."

"Okay! Fine! But worse than me have found fame and glory, because THEIR LUCK WAS BETTER!" Henry turned red with effort of driving home his point.

"Sir, please. I will have to ask you to leave if you both continue your shouting match." The girl interjected before Lady could reply.

"Just hurry up, please! I have been unlucky for far too long!" he said angrily. Lady started wailing again.

The girl sighed. "Fill out these forms, both of you, madam, you too. Please be careful with your language in experience with each other section, profanity isn't endured here." she said.

"There's a gender preference now?" Henry looked up from the form.

"Yes. Many suggestions in the opinion box proclaimed 'lady' luck being exchanged and settled on was misogynistic, so now we have Sir Luck(s) facing the same" the girl said. Henry saw the poster pinned behind her advertising unhappy men in angel attire promising results, but he signed up for a female anyways. He had an impression of his own existence being too etched in his mind to consider males any good in their job.

Next to him, Lady Luck was asking for a supplementary to continue her 'issues with present services' column, nearly tearing the page with every word she wrote. Henry refocused to his own task at hand, and continued writing. They both seem to vent a lot more on paper than in real life, thought the girl who was to type these pleasantries as records woefully. Pain and suffering is but a burden on paper officially. Finally, finished with their scrawling, they returned their respective papers to the half asleep girl.

"I have to customarily thank you for visiting us, but we would be grateful if you never visit us again. Do tell us about your experience with us and how we can improve if you want to, though I must tell you it will be duly ignored. Any questions?" The girl chanted the memorized lines.

"Yes. How long till I am free of this man's ignorant judgment?" Lady asked harshly.

"You can expect an answer to your troubles in three to five-" she gave the never ending pile and line of applicants and forms a glance and sighed "-no, seven business days. Anything else?"

"Why aren't these services made virtual yet?" Henry asked.

"We tried sir," the girl said giving back him his file, "but we have a tendency to crash before we can take off among the complainers."

They both came out, just as the couple behind them began their verbal assault ("I want this dumb old luck exchanged for new! I am young yet!") They silently fumed as they started descending in the tube train out from cloud six. Henry caught a sight of the majestic cloud nine, and commented "With you gone, I finally might get a chance to go there." Lady looked at the place from behind his shoulder, and said venomously, "I doubt if anyone who found a reason to complain in life ever got there."

In the coming days of their last duration as partners, they were silent, aloof and in denial of each other's existence. Henry had the upper hand by practice at this treatment. Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity to Henry, the letter of judgment came. It allowed and conducted a change of luck, in favour of both of their peace and well being. On her day of departure, the steely Lady gathered together all the receipts and tokens of resultant happiness that she had brought about herself. Henry, feeling hollow and empty, suspected she was stealing some.

"You sure all these are your moments of joy?" he asked in suppressed fury. "I don't recall feeling each of them."

She turned to give him a cold, distant gaze. "You fool," she said, "have you ever considered you always got more than you actually deserved? That you had more than your chances permitted? That stomach fed each night, this roof that never required a leak fixing, all those people framed by the wall of your mantelpiece, what makes you think any of it was your deserving share, and not MY work? How do you know how much of you, is because of me, and the coin I tossed in your favour? You kept asking me for success, I kept giving you a shot at it. You were lucky, Henry, to be given a chance at chasing this glory you demand. You are lucky you exist. You were lucky, you were also blind. How much of you, can you trace without my hands sculpting it?"

"You don't define me. This, all of this, it wasn't just you." Henry said in a hushed tone.

"No, it wasn't just me. But it was me too, nonetheless. I always am, was, everywhere." she said, and walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

She kept her eyes ahead, and saw a plump young lady coming towards the house. This must be the new one, she thought. She approached her, studying her from head to toe in the process, and suddenly said-

"You seem healthy."

"Oh, well...." the new Lady began tentatively.

"Don't worry, he will wear you thin. Stretch you right into shape, then worse. These men always do."

"Oh, um, well, okay....." the new lady replied, confused.

"Ever served a human before? The ravenous, taxing things that walk on two legs and are never satisfied?" Lady asked suspiciously.

"Oh, err....no. This is my first time, actually." she gave a shaky laugh, then nervously looked away catching the look in Lady's eyes.

"Oh well," the Lady said finally, throwing the house a last look, and walked away "unlucky you."