Phone Calls with a Warrior

For my Auntie who taught me what courage looks like.

Monday

“Hello?”

“Hey shit face”

“Auntie, we talked about this.”

“Sorry, sorry, I forget, hello Nephew. That better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You know I only say that because you’re my favorite Nephew. It’s a term of endearment coming from me.”

“I’m your only nephew Auntie. How are you doing today?”

“You know me, my legs don’t work but I’m still kicking ass as usual! Did you get the gift I sent you?”

“That’s good to hear. Yea I got it. What is it? It’s creepy as hell.”

“It’s a uh, thing thing you know. You’re supposed to put it by your bed.”

“By my bed, why would I do that? This thing gives me the chills. Auntie, why’d you send this to me?”

“So how’s work?”

“You’re just going to change the subject? Work is uh… work.”

“Still sounds like you need to quit and work on that book you were telling me about.”

“I don’t have time to work on it.”

“That’s why you need to quit! Or go into you mangers office and swing a chair around a couple of times and break some shit, that’s what I used to do.”

“Auntie, you never did anything of that and no I’m not doing that.”

“Well I wanted to, it’s the thought that counts right. But I did quit those jobs though, your aunts never been the type to stick around in misery. Anyway, got to go, tonight’s bingo night, can’t let Tonya beat me there, that bitch loves to take my seat.”

“Auntie, don’t call her that and-“

“Yea, yea, yea, go to go. And put that thing by your bed, sweet dreams.”

Tuesday

“Auntie, I had a nightmare all last night. A really bad one.”

“So it works!”

“What works?”

“The thing I sent you in the mail. Well the thing Fiora sent for me. It used to be her sons.”

“Wait, what are saying Auntie, are you telling me this thing is the reason why I had a nightmare?”

“Hell yea it is, and by the sound of it, it was a good one!”

“What the heck Auntie.”

“Don’t what the heck me, you scared to let a little curse word slip out, come on, let me have it!”

“Auntie!”

“I’m trying to help you nephew! I was telling Fiona about how you need to stop being scared and quit your job. She told me this story about her family and how they raise their children to be warriors, like that 300 movie, you ever watched it?”

“No, but what-“

“You need to watch it. Well she’s telling me how they give their kids these things and put them by their beds at night. The damn things gives them nightmares, but it’s supposed to. They teach them to fight their fears, cause if they can conquer any horror their mind comes up with, they can conquer anything in life. Sounds fucking crazy, but that lady’s the toughest thing in here. So I tell her if she’s got a spare one, you could use it. So what’d you dream of.”

“Auntie, the way you show your love is crazy. This is crazy. I dreamed that I was being chased through some dark woods. I could hear something chasing me, but I never stopped to see what it was. Do you know how hard it is to get good sleep while running terrified in a dream.”

“Then stop running nephew! So here’s what we’re going to do, hear me out. I need you to go to the kitchen.”

“Auntie.”

“Just do it. Let me know when you’re there.”

“I’m here.”

“Okay, take out your biggest and sharpest knife you have and hold it.”

“Auntie, what-“

“Come on, humor your Aunt and just do it.”

“Okay, now what?”

“That’s going to be your weapon for tonight.”

“What?”

“Fiora said that whatever you have on you comes with you into the nightmare. So they would arm their children with all types of weapons. Clubs, bats, bow and arrows, that type of stuff. Then whatever horror their mind conjures up, they have a way to fight it.”

“You think I’m going to sleep with a knife? This is crazy! I’m getting rid of that thing and I’m putting this knife back!”

“No, don't! You need to fight through this Nephew, be a warrior. Keep the knife in its sheath and wrap it in a towel or something. Or put it in a bag, that way it can’t get loose.”

“You’re saying this calmly like it’s normal Auntie.”

“No, what's not normal is waking up and going to that job you hate and not having time to actually do what you love. You know what I love, helping my favorite Nephew, so let me damn it!”

“I’ll think about it Auntie, I have to go, I’ll talk with you tomorrow, I love you.”

Wednesday

“Did you do it?”

“I don’t know why I listened to you Auntie.”

“So you did it! What happened?”

“I wrapped a knife in a towel and put it in a bag. I wasn’t taking any chances of this thing getting loose as I slept. But it came with me into the dream just like you said. I was back in that creepy forest at night. I heard a shuffle in the bushes and knew that whatever it was, was coming. So I went to get my knife. But I tied it up in the bag so well that I was struggling to get it out. The sound in the bushes was getting closer so I was fumbling with it because I was so scared. By the time I finally got it out of the bag and unwrapped it from the towel something came bursting out of the bushes. It startled me while I was unsheathing the knife sending it into the air, then the knife came down tip first into my foot. I screamed from the pain. I pulled the knife out and threw it before running off on my hurt foot. I never got to see what it was. I spent the rest of the nightmare running from whatever it was on a hurt foot. This was ten times worse than the first night.”

“Well damn nephew, that’s a hell of a story, no wonder you want to be a writer! But look on the bright side, at least you know what to do tonight. Don’t wrap the damn knife up so tight, you need easy access.”

“Tonight! I’m not doing this again. I’m done.”

“Oh no you’re not Nephew. If I had that thing by my bed, I’d beat the shit out of whatever came at me in my nightmare. Your bed ridden aunt with a ventilator would handle business. Now if I could do it, you can!”

“Why do you have to be this way… this is the last night, then I’m throwing this thing in the trash, donating it or something.”

“Ha ha, thats what I’m talking about Nephew!”

Thursday

“I did it Auntie.”

“And, what happened?”

“I don’t know what it was, or what I fought, it’s like I can’t fully remember the dream. But I did fight, I didn’t run, I spent all night fighting and it felt good! I called in and quit my job today, I can find another one. I also got a couple pages done on the book I’ve been talking about.”

“Ha ha! That’s my favorite Nephew right there! I know you better then you know yourself. I got good news for you also.”

“Oh yea, what’s that?”

“I talked with Fiora and she managed to get me one too, you’re right, this thing is ugly.”

“What! Why would you do that?”

“I can’t have you having all of the fun. I even had someone sneak me in a katana. I can’t tell you my source on that one, you might try to snitch on me.”

“Auntie, what the hell!”

“Oh now you curse at me. But what’s even better is that she told me we could do it together. The thing she gave me was from her other son and she said her two sons used to be able to join each other's dreams. These things have a special connection because of those two. So what do you say Nephew, one more night for your aunt? You know I’m going to do it anyway, so you might as well come along for the ride!”

“Auntie… come on, let’s whoop some ass!”

“Ha ha! Let’s do it shit face!”