The Scarlet Sleeve.

At Malory Tennyson’s Cloudbank Cabin for Arthurian Studies, Little Plump Jo, the current Artisan in Residence and her writing and editing companions, the five overexcitable Dabrowski Dogs were watching from the porch as a scene unfolded in the Fog Lake.

Lancelot was talking to Elaine

“I was thinking about you the other day,”

“Were you?”

“Yes, I was resting after the land dispute tourney and a little white dog, who looked like a lamb, came and sat on the bed beside me.

“That was me!” Imaginational Dabrowski announced to the Porch Watchers . “I was trying to get Lancelot to love Elaine rather than Queen Guinevere. It would save the life of our Elaine and maybe even prevent the downfall of Camelot.”

“Yes,” continued Lancelot. “I was feeling lightheaded after the tourney and I was taken to the physicians’ tent. I was trying to tell them it was wyrm dragon poisoning but they kept on asking me questions I could not answer.

They asked, “What is your name?”

I cannot claim to be Sir Lancelot du Lac yet without the proper evidence; so I said “Je ne sais pas.”

They wrote JENNER SAPPER

I said “Non, non, je ne sais pas!”

So they called for Merlin

Merlin said “Lance, have you been taking your herbals?

I said “Oui.”

Merlin said, “Were you hit on the head today?”

I said “Non. Of course not!” But I was recently poisoned by a wyrm dragon. It was a Flame Crested Copper Bellied Wyrm Dragon.”

And I showed him my shoulder which is still enflamed.

The physicians all crowded round and admired the excellent quality of the stitching. But they did say the bandaging looked a bit slapdash. So I defended your reputation and told them that was my fault; because I was impatient and wanted to get to the tourney.

They were then even more impressed and said that it was amazing that I would be fit enough to fight so soon They said without your prompt attention I would certainly have died.

They rebandaged my shoulder and left me to rest. The little white dog jumped up on the bed beside me. While I was patting it I felt very calm.

I was remembering how kind you were to me when you stitched my shoulder. And I also remembered the fine stitching, weaving and handiwork you do.”

“So, I was thinking, could I commission you to sew a fine gown for a gift?”

“Certainly! I would need to know the size and what design and fabric type and colour is required. I can also do fine beading work.”

“I would like to have an example of your work to help make these decisions.”

“I can give you a sample. Here take this crimson sleeve embroidered with great pearls.”

The Watchers on the Porch of Cloudbank Cabin let out a simultaneous cry of “NO!” and then all started talking at once.

“Not the scarlet sleeve with the great pearls!”

“That has caused the problem every time in past retellings.”

“When he wears that sleeve on his helmet in the tournament, his kinfolk do not recognise him and set on him en masse and Sir Bors’ lance breaks, leaving the head in his side”

“Then Elaine nurses him and falls in love with him but he rejects her and she dies!”

“You were not going to tell that story this time, Jo!”

“I am just following our Elaine around and writing about what she is doing.”

“Are you sure this is our new Elaine, the entrepreneur owner of Charlotte’s Web Weaving, Charlotte-Elaine?”

“Maybe that sleeve is an essential motif and must be used in any story about Lancelot and Elaine?”

“I don’t like it! I think that sleeve is very unlucky!”

“We need to stop him wearing it.”

“I will go and get it back!” That was Psycho Motor Dabrowski. “Where is he going now, Intellectual?”

“He is going to the Dolorous Tower to free the captives there.”

“Right, I’m on it!”

A few days later a weary and rather less bouncy Psycho Motor Dabrowski returned to the cabin without the sleeve.

“I caught up with Lancelot quite quickly,” he said. “He was trotting along with the red sleeve in his saddle bag. It was hanging out a little bit. So I ran along beside the horse and started jumping up, trying to grab the sleeve. I nearly had it when he stopped the horse and yelled at me. « Rentre chez toi, chien psychopathe ! »

And he took the sleeve out of the saddle bag and tied it to his helm and put the helm on his head where I could not reach it.

I kept on following and he stopped at the Do Drop Inn to stay overnight. So I sat down next to the stall where his horse was stabled.

In the middle of the night there was an uproar in the courtyard of the inn. A knight was being chased by three others and was beating on the inn door to be let in. Before the door could be opened for him, Sir Lancelot came leaping out of a window to stand between the knight and his attackers. Much yelling and sword clanging followed and then the three attackers turned tail and fled.

The next morning a knight came to collect Sir Lancelot’s horse but, as far as I was concerned, he didn’t pass the Alouette test.

Coal black curls?

Coal black curls!

Broad clear brow?

Broad clear brow!

Brazen greaves?

NO! This knight was wearing a dull grey suit of armour and he hung a dull grey helmet without a red sleeve on it, on the saddle.

I thought ‘This no-good knight is stealing Sir Lancelot’s magnificent battle stallion!” So I jumped at him, barking furiously!

He said « Rentre chez toi, chien psychopathe ! » and rode off on the road that leads to the Dolorous Tower.

Then a fat, elderly knight appeared and mounted a dull grey horse.He was wearing brazen greaves and all the other brazen trappings with the brazen helmet with the red sleeve attached to it.

I thought ‘This no-good knight is stealing Sir Lancelot’s magnificent armour!’

So I jumped at him, barking furiously!

He said “Go home Psycho Dog!” and galloped off.

He took the road to Camelot.

He was going too fast for me to keep up. So I came back here.

But it should be fine because at least now Sir Lancelot does not have the bad luck red sleeve.”

“Oh, Psycho, Psycho, Psycho!” grumbled Intellectual Dabrowski. “If you had read the materials I have been collecting for Little Plump Jo, you would know that we are now in the early chapters of the adventures of Sir Lancelot in the Morte d’Arthur. What you witnessed was Sir Lancelot saving Sir Kay and then exchanging armour with him. It enabled Sir Kay to ride back to Camelot safely because nobody would be likely to challenge Sir Lancelot. They will be swapping their armour back when both of them are next at Camelot.”

A few days later Elaine announced her intention to travel by barge to Camelot for the weaving expo which was to be held in conjunction with a tournament to promote Charlotte’s Web Weaving

“I could go with Elaine and see if I can get the scarlet sleeve back from Sir Kay,” offered Psycho Motor Dabrowski.

“I don’t think Psycho Motor should go” said Imaginational “Sir Kay thinks he is a rabid psycho dog and would not let him close enough to get the sleeve. But I could pass as Elaine’s cute little lap dog and have a good chance at charming him.

After another few days, the Watchers of the Fog Lake, fed by the Arthuriana Stream, on the porch of Cloudbank Cabin, were treated to the spectacle of the happenings at the weaving expo and tournament in Camelot.

Elaine had set up her stand in the great hall and was exhibiting her wall hangings, fabrics, and the Canine Capers dog coat collection.

Sir Gawain, stopped to look at Elaine’s display and was completely captivated.

“Och, the bonnie wee doggie!” he crooned. “And his mistress - sich a bonnie lassie!

Could I escort you to dinner this evening? We could dance and make merry and maybe…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Elaine was blushing. It was very pleasing to have attention and compliments But she had heard that not only was Sir Gawain a flirt, with an eye for the ladies, but also, he was very much married to the formidable looking Lady Ragnell.

Dagonet, the court jester, was also impressed with Elaine’s exhibit. He put in an order for patchwork costumes, one in silks and the other in velvets. “Summer and winter costumes you understand” he said. And, when Imaginational showed how he could walk on his hind legs, he was quick to invite him to be part of his act.

Elaine was fascinated by the people of the court who milled around the various displays. She eavesdropped shamelessly on the snatches of conversation and gossip she heard.

“Gawain has a good chance of winning this tournament.”

“King Pelles has come.” He is looking for the Best Knight in the World to marry his daughter, Princess Elaine!”

“And it can’t be just any Best Knight in the World! Sir Gawain was not good enough for him. He had to be related to Heilyn the Mighty or King David.”

“Ooh look! Don’t you just love that red samite embroidered with pearls! How much would a dress made out of that material cost; do you think?”

“Ask her!”

“You ask her!”

“I couldn’t afford anything like that. It is fit for a queen!”

Queen Guinevere Herself came to see Elaine’s display.

“I adore the scarlet samite embroidered with great pearls!” she said. “But would you be able to create the gown for me in the same pearl embroidered fabric but in the colours of white and gold? I would like an extra sleeve, please. I do not wish the royal arm to become cold if I desire to bestow a token!”

As Queen Guinevere Herself moved on to the next exhibit, a group of her maids came to Elaine’s display giggling and chattering.

“Did you see? She ordered a sleeve to give as a token!”

“Who do you think she would want to give a token? King Arthur does not compete in jousts; because nobody would ride against the king. It would not be proper for her to give a token to anyone else!”

“It is probably for the dreamy young Frenchman. She seemed to be proper taken with him!”

“If I had a sleeve, I would give it to Sir Gawain!”

“He’s already married. But he does have a couple of brothers.”

“I would give mine to Geraint!”

“Of course you would, Enid!”

Elaine made up five tokens of each colour from remainders of a green silk, the scarlet samite embroidered with pearls and an exquisite filmy violet material shot through with golden threads.

The green silk tokens sold out first. They were the least expensive and were the colour of the arms of Sir Gawain and his brothers from Dalriada. The scarlet samite sleeves were slightly more expensive but they also sold out rapidly.

However none of the sleeves made from the beautiful filmy violet material sold. They were much admired but the consensus was that they were just too expensive!

Imaginational Dabrowski was dismayed.

Now he had six scarlet samite sleeves embroidered with pearls to retrieve.

He reasoned that it was essential that he collect them all so as to be really sure to get the particular one that Sir Kay currently had in his possession.

At the tournament King Pelles was sitting with King Arthur and Queen Guinevere in the Royal Pavilion.

Trumpets sounded and the competing knights rode in and completed a circuit of the field stopping to acknowledge the dignitaries in the royal box and to receive tokens for their helms.

As the knights moved to the sides of the arena to await the orders of the heralds, the trumpets sounded again as if to announce the commencement of the proceedings.

However, it was Dagonet who rode onto the field sitting backwards on his scruffy looking horse with Imaginational Dabrowski sitting up on the saddle facing in the correct direction as if he were the one controlling the horse.

Dagonet made a great show of riding around the field begging for tokens from the ladies. Imaginational sat up on his hind legs and begged and was given several tokens.

Everyone laughed and cheered.

“Och the funny wee doggie! He’s got more tokens than you, Dagonet!”

Imaginational jumped down from the saddle and ran to the line of waiting knights. Wherever he saw a red sleeve he jumped up and grabbed it.

He carried the sleeve in his mouth and deposited it beside the gate at the marshalling area and went to get the next one. When the crowd noticed what he was doing they laughed and cheered. They thought it was part of the pre-tournament entertainment.

“Och yer doogie is getting himsel’ mair tokens!”

“He is only choosing red ones.”

“Go doggy!”

By the time Imaginational was bringing the third sleeve to his pile he found that the squires had been collecting the tokens and returning them to their masters! One squire was still picking up his sleeve, so Imaginational grabbed the other end and played tug-o-war with it until it ripped and half the pearls came away. Imaginational rushed back to reclaim the sleeves which had been returned He brought two back at once and defied anyone to take them.

Three more sleeves to get. But Imaginational could only see two. He collected both of those and took them to his pile where he sat growling and methodically demolishing them.

The laughter and applause of the audience changed to cries of outrage.

“Control your dog, Dagonet!”

“My wife spent all her allowance on that!”

“They are not fit to be used now!”

Elaine was horrified. She called Dagonet over to her and said she would replace all the damaged red sleeves with violet sleeves at no extra cost.

Dagonet cartwheeled back to the centre of the arena.

“All part of the festivities, Ladies and Gentlemen, to allow you to receive at no extra cost the sleeves of the exquisite filmy violet material shot through with golden threads – a generous gesture on behalf of the Lady Elaine of Charlotte’s Web Weaving, from the Mystical Tower on the Island of Shalott.”

The laughter and cheers rose again.

“Thank ye, milady!” “That is proper kind of ye!”

As Imaginational sat among the pile of shredded red sleeve tokens and fretted about where the sixth and final sleeve could be, a knight in fine brazen armour arrived on a dull grey coloured horse. He presented himself to the dignitaries in the royal box. And he had a scarlet samite sleeve streaming from his helmet!

“That’s HIM!” boomed King Pelles “The Best Knight in the World.”

“My foster brother, Sir Kay?” said King Arthur incredulously. “I wouldn’t think so!”

“I know him by his brazen greaves. Command him to take off the helmet so I can check for the coal black curls and the broad clear brow.”

“If you insist! Take your helmet off and be known Sir Knight!

Off came the helmet to show a head of thinning grey hair and a wrinkled forehead.

“That’s not Him” sighed King Pelles.

“What are you playing at, Kay?” demanded King Arthur. “Are you actually intending to joust today?”

“Yes, I thought I would have a go today. The young Frenchman’s armour seems to be very lucky. Men just see it and they flee!

“Have you thought that perhaps it is the reputation of the skill of the young Frenchman rather that the luck of the armour that ensures those results?”

“I’m willing to give it a try!”

“Well good luck to you then; but it is a very long time since you jousted you know. And whose token is that you are wearing?”

“It was given to him by a Lady Elaine.

“Well, it is not really proper for you to wear it then” said King Arthur. “ You had better give that to me. I will give it back to him.”

Imaginational sighed. How could he possibly get the red sleeve back from King Arthur of all people?

Queen Guinevere sighed and ground her foot against the floor. It seemed the dreamy young Frenchman already had a lady! And it was Elaine and King Pelles was here to match him with his daughter.

“Are you quite well, Guinevere my dear?” asked King Arthur. “You look a little peaky!”

“I’m FINE” she muttered.

Sir Kay discovered that the invincibility afforded by the brazen armour was not transferrable to other wearers. He was eliminated in the first round.

Quite late in the day when only the best of the best were left in the competition a knight in dull grey armour entered the field and sought permission to join the lists.

“Here is the one you are seeking, Pelles!” said King Arthur. “The Best Knight in the World. Are you going to swap your armour with Kay before you compete in this tournament?”

“I was not intending to do so.”

“Well, I think you should. Kay has been bringing you discredit. You will have time to swap your arms. And I have something of yours from a certain lovely lady. I am sure she and her father would be looking forward to seeing you tourney in it.”

“I don’t wear any ladies’ tokens.”

“We want to see you wearing it proudly – don’t we Guinevere, dear?”

The Porch Watchers at Cloudbank Cabin let out a resounding cry of "NOOOOOOO!"