Awake

***Author's Note: This is my second submission. Any and all feedback is welcome.***

Another day here...another night too...he was so ready for this room to change and for things to be different. He was sorry for what happened that had led to him looking at these four walls. Nothing ever changed. He tried telling them what was going on, he tried getting their attention. He looked around and around wondering how he was going to survive.

“Good morning Mr. Taylor,” the nice lady who keeps stopping by said.

“Good morning.” He said.

“How are you today?” she asked.

“I’m bored and I’m tired of being here.” He responded.

“Well, I hope you have a good day. I’ll stop by and check on you a little later.” the lady told him.

“Thanks, I guess. You have a good day, too.” he told her. He didn’t know why she just stopped by and said a few words then left. It was like she was too busy to sit and visit with him, at least she did stop by. She was the only one to just stop and say hi; everyone else just came and checked on him but never spoke with him. They acted like he wasn’t even there even though they were there for him.

He thought back to the events that led up to him being here.

It had been the best day ever. He had just received his Master’s degree in the mail. He had been waiting on it for what seemed like forever but really had only been a couple months. It had taken him so long to achieve THAT bucket list item. 

He had dreamed forever of being able to let everyone know that he wasn’t the screw up that they all thought he was. He had worked so hard to get to where he was. Everyone thought that just because he had not finished high school that he would never amount to anything but he sure showed them. Yeah, he could admit that there for a little while he wasn’t much but he had changed. He had gone from doing drugs and drinking all the time to deciding that he was tired of living that life. 

He had enrolled at the local junior college and taken the GED classes and passed on his first try. The classes hadn’t even been hard and honestly school hadn’t been that hard when he had gone but it seemed like no one had understood him. He had really tried in school but had spent a lot of time out of school due to medical issues. Because of those issues, he had not learned the same things that the other kids had which led to him being a little bit behind in his studies and added to his frustrations. 

Once he received his GED, he talked to one of the advisors at the college and found that he could go to college and get a degree to be able to help others like he felt he had not been helped. After talking to the advisor, he decided that he would get a degree in teaching. He felt strongly that some students just didn’t receive the help they need at school and he wanted to change that. So he applied to the teaching program and was accepted. His professors were great and helped him when he struggled and taught him in ways that he had never been taught before. They showed him what it meant to care about how your students are succeeding and how to help them when they are failing. The teachers he met meant so much to him and added to the list of people he wanted to show that he could achieve so much more. 

He studied and studied and was awarded his Bachelor’s degree in Teaching with a specialization in special education. He got his first teaching assignment at a city school with kids that came from hard backgrounds. These kids struggled and he struggled with them. He didn’t let them fall between the cracks and he made sure the kids felt heard. 

A few years into teaching, he decided that he wanted to become an administrator to help guide the teachers towards teaching the kids so he applied to the university’s masters program. He was accepted and was able to finish his masters in just over two years. He continued working with his students full time while working on his masters and found that he was already able to use what he was learning with his current students. He was proud of himself for taking this route and felt that he was really making a difference in the lives of the children.

He was so excited when that degree was finally delivered to his house in its perfect cherry wood frame. It was his most prized possession. 

His friends had called him the night his degree arrived and asked if he wanted to go out. Spring break had just started and they were ready to relax for the next week. He told them he would see them in a little bit.

It had been misty when he left the house. Well, for the beginning of spring break, it had actually been misty and cool all day. Not a great way to start spring break but he had hoped that the weather would improve. He drove to the restaurant where he would meet his friends. 

They had eaten and shared stories and they had drinks. He hadn’t had many drinks because he knew that he had had a problem with drinking too much. His friends had imbibed in many, many drinks. He had decided that he would take everyone home because he had only had a couple drinks. He wasn’t even tipsy. He figured it would be safer for him to take them than for them to drive themselves.

They had all gotten in his truck at the end of the night. They were all having a great time, laughing and cutting up. It was like being kids again. 

He was looking for a different song on the radio and when he looked up…

That had been a year ago and now here he was...laying here...trapped in his own mind. He tried to talk to the people that came and went, no one ever talked to him other than her. He spoke to her but she never heard him. 

Here she was again. 

“Hi Mr. Taylor.” 

“Hhhiii” came out the shaky whisper from the man who had been in this room for a year and hadn’t said a word.