A Search for Life’s Purpose

A Search for Life’s Purpose

By Sunil Varshneya

I was born in America into a wealthy family, so I had never worked to earn a living and had yet to learn about the real world. My father was a successful businessman and was always successful in making more and more money. We lived in a mansion with lots of servants. I always took luxurious vacations with my parents all over the world. I always got what I wanted and was a member of all country clubs and had teachers and coaches to teach me whatever I wanted.

When I went to college, I had a glimpse of some reality about life. My parents had told me that I would have almost an unlimited allowance on the condition that I would try to get as much understanding about the finances and investments as possible and would not get into any trouble. So I did what rich kids do in college: just Party! and have fun.

I dated several girls in my college. One girl who attracted me was Sandy. She was on a full scholarship and the daughter of a teacher. She never did any make-up and wore simple dresses. I thought she was beautiful. She was affiliated with an orphanage and was always involved in fundraising and volunteer services to that organization. I asked her for a date, and she said she would gladly give me a tour of the orphanage. So I had a date with her, a tour of the orphanage. I remember the boring tour of meeting the kids and going through their rooms, kitchen, classroom, and play area. I remember I was interested in something other than the orphanage, the kids, and the organization. I told her of my intention that I just wanted to go out to an expensive dinner and have fun with her. She looked at me and said I could not see the orphanage as she saw it. She smiled that their relationship could never flower as they had different views about this world. I just gave a small donation, and that was the end of my relationship with Sandy.

My parents passed away in a plane crash. I graduated and remembered having a group picture with Sandy at the graduation.

After graduation, I tried doing business but realized I was never interested. So gave it all to my brother and became a passive investor. I knew I had enough to live by and no desire to exert making money.

I was bored with my life with no purpose or any attraction to do anything in this world. I never had the experience of traveling and seeing this world without money, so I started traveling all over the world as if I had meager money. The experience of traveling all over the world with less money was an eye-opening experience.

I finally landed in a thousand-year-old Himalayan monastery. In this monastery, there were courses, and I decided to take them.

This monastery emphasized that we all human beings have no control and knowledge about the fundamental issues about our birth, growth, digestion, sleep, and death. We should therefore always be aware that we know very little about this world and ourselves. It is only when we are in a state of not knowing that additional knowing is possible. The famous story is that if your mind is already filled, your receptivity to something new is limited.

Also, the emphasis in this monastery was first to realize your real- self behind your name, title, body, and mind. The perspective is that your name, title, body, and mind are only your surface selves and the real self is behind all the surface selves.

The perspective is that your name is given to you by the society so that society can exist. The same is with your work title and family relationship titles. Generally, most humans are constantly occupied with these titles from the moment they wake up until they sleep. Cell phones and emails keep them occupied. Therefore, life for most human beings is confined to these titles.

The next surface title is your body. The perspective of this monastery is that the body was a few ounces when you were born, and with the earthly food, it has grown. It will again become a part of the earth. In order to know the truth about your body, they will make you live in the cremation grounds where dead bodies are burned. Also, to work in the butcher shop where the bodies of animals are chopped to understand the inside of the bodies. The body has genetic memory of hunger, growth, and functioning and has to run its course and become part of the earth. This has to be accepted at a deeper level within you. The human body is just a means to operate in this material world. The example is that if you have to go under-water you need a driving suit so to experience earth you need a human body. Once this awareness about your body becomes your knowing, a distance is created that you are more than your body as something higher up that knows your body, and you are not the body.

The mind is also a surface self that is created for your survival. When you were born, it was blank. It has three main centers: memory, imagination, and intellect. From the day you are born, your five senses - eyes, nose, ears, tongue, and skin - report this external world in your mind and update your memory, imagination, and intellect centers. You first learn the alphabet - a,b,c, - then the words, sentences, and calculations. The mind is just the accumulation of data in your memory, intellect, and imagination centers or your information database. Once awareness is created about this surface self for your survival, then a distance is created with this mind to a higher self above your mind. Note that the mind is a part just like your hand for your existence. However, generally with most human beings, the accumulation in your mind takes over your life, and you cannot reach your higher self.

To summarize, my learning at this monastery is that the name, relationship titles, body, and mind are your surface self to survive. However, the real self is behind these surface selves, and enlightenment means going beyond these surface selves. I was enjoying these courses as all this was new to me.

One of the things I liked in this monastery was the group discussions where teachers would guide you with the questions and group discussions. In one of the discussions, a person named Peter narrated his story. He was a soldier in the army. During the war, his friend died, and in a rage, he went to the enemy village and killed many children. After the war, he was loaded with guilt and in therapy for depression. Finally, he wanted to commit suicide and end his life due to this guilt. The teacher asked him what Peter thought he should do. Peter said that he had no idea except that he wanted to commit suicide.

The teacher asked him whether suicide would help anybody.

Peter said that his suicide would not help anybody.

The teacher said to close his eyes and meditate because the answer was in his real self.

There was pin-drop silence in the auditorium as all had to meditate and help him find an answer from his real self.

After almost an hour, Peter opened his eyes and said he had found an answer. He would help orphans and devote the rest of his life to doing whatever he could for them.

Suddenly I remembered Sandy. Now I realize that I have the eyes of Sandy to see the purpose of devoting your life to contribute to an orphanage.  

There was a rush of energy within me. I am suddenly alive. I now have a purpose. I am going back to America to join Sandy to start my new wonder-filled life.