Being surprised

I hate surprises. I hate it when people scare me. I hate it when I get pranked. So, I guess it makes sense that I really, really hate April Fool’s Day.

My dad loved pulling pranks on people. And I was always first in the firing line. His pranks were not in any way harmful. To be honest, it was quite endearing. One year my dad phoned me to tell me I should go outside to see all the hundreds of lovely colorful hot air balloons floating over the city. I ran out, just to see a clear blue sky with no hot air balloon in sight. As I say, a harmless joke. But he laughed and laughed at my expense and I felt incredibly stupid. I do not like attention, least of all when I am being made a fool of. And I think the competitive side of me wants to oust the prankster before they can fool me, so I feel as if I have failed should I not realize it is a joke. The other prank that made an impression and which I will never forget is when I heard a news report that the government was planning to add a time zone difference between two parts of the country that would run through our city. The concept was just so ridiculous, but the radio host made it seem so realistic. I believed the story for an entire day before I heard from a later show host that it was only an April Fool’s Day joke. At least I did not tell anyone about it and was thus not outed as being an idiot, but I still felt rather silly for believing it.

The main reason why people catch me with a prank so easily is that I am bad at keeping track of dates and usually forget it is April Fool’s Day. When someone pulls the wool over my eyes there is usually this moment – ugh, let me be honest, most likely quite a bit longer than just a moment – of intense confusion, which I think is the funniest part.

But this year I was ready. I put a reminder in my electronic diary to sound an alarm at six am to remind me it is the first of April. I was not going to be anyone’s fool this year. The reminder on my phone was in fact my best idea ever, as I did forget about the date (again). But when the alarm sounded and I saw what the reminder was for, I was ready. I got out of bed, first switching on my bedside lamp to make sure I did not step on a rubber snake or anything gross. My boyfriend is quite aware of my first of April phobia and usually tries to make the most of it.

Switching on lights throughout the house as I walked to the kitchen, I checked every room to make sure he did not jump out from behind a door or throw something on me to frighten me. However, a note on the kitchen counter told me that he had gone for a run with our dog and would be gone for an hour or so.

I turned on the coffee machine, first making sure there were coffee beans in the container, that the reservoir was filled with (clean) water and that the machine was plugged in. Satisfied with everything seemingly being in order, I made myself a cup of coffee and went to sit outside and watch the daybreak. After that I got into the shower, again checking everything twice to make sure there were no booby traps anywhere. By the time I was done with my shower, my boyfriend was back from his run and we had breakfast together. I have never been as attentive in a conversation as I was during that meal. I was hyper-aware, trying to suss out whether he was planning anything or making an attempt at telling me some or another crazy story to see if I believe him. But nothing.

After breakfast we parted ways, me going to work and him on his way to a meeting. Listening to the radio in my car, I questioned in my mind everything the radio host was saying, wondering whether every news story was true or whether we were to find out a few hours later that it was all a joke. But nothing seemed amiss. At work I was extremely jumpy, getting a fright every time my phone rang or when someone popped into my office for a quick question or a chat. In the staff kitchen, I checked everything twice, sure I was going to pour salt or sour milk into my coffee. My nerves were hanging by a thread by the time the clock struck five and I was able to go home.

On my way home I spoke to my boyfriend on the phone, but everything seemed exceptionally normal. Perhaps almost too normal? Surely he was planning something? But we went out for a quick dinner without anything strange happening. By the time I was ready to go to bed I was almost disappointed that no-one tried to catch me with an April Fool’s joke! I have been complaining about how much I hate pranks since I can remember and I warned my boyfriend since February that he must not try anything. However, with nothing happening the whole day I realized that trying to catch a prankster before they can get to me is part of the fun. I felt as if I missed out on something.

Before I got into bed, still not trusting my boyfriend, I checked the sheets and bedding twice to make sure there were no surprises. Still nothing… It was only when I slipped in between the sheets and picked up my phone to check my schedule for the next day that I saw it… Staring back at me was the date… 2 April…