5 comments

Thriller

A tumbleweed rolled across the empty dusty road. Whatever pushed it along its way was unknown to Kristy as she baked under the brightness above her. She was hunched over the hood of her broken down El Camino. It was little better than sitting inside the hot car, but at least out here she could breathe. She had no water, and she had no idea how long she would have before the tow truck reached her.


Kristy stared off into the distance toward the mountains of red sandstone. The bases of the mountains were blurred behind the water-like mirage rising from the ground. Looking at it made Kristy even more thirsty. She started to turn her head away until she noticed a large dark figure coming toward her through the haze.


She stood up to see if her eyes were deceiving her. Sure enough, the figure of a tall, slender, and dirty man came into focus as he continued to approach the car. He had on a tank that used to be white, but it was now covered in stains of the sands that had clung onto his sweat. Kristy could also see that a small boy was following behind him. The dirt on his face matched that of his father’s.


Kristy straightened up and tried to gather her composure. She quickly switched from being tired and groggy to alert and focused. She wanted to run into the car to grab her switchblade before he got too close, but she didn’t think that she had enough time before he reached her.


“’Ya need some help?” the slender man yelled as he continued to walk toward her. She stood silent until he was close enough to hear her.


“No, I’m alright,” she said cautiously, “just waitin’ on my tow. He should be here any moment now.”


“You want some water while you wait?” the man asked. “We live just over those rocks and it wouldn’t take ‘ya too long ta git back.”


Kristy was hesitant to follow a man she didn’t know, but her thirst got the better of her. After all, a man with a little boy couldn’t be that bad, could he?


Kristy walked over toward the man without grabbing her razor. After about 5 minutes, all three of them climbed over a small mountain of rocks, and Kristy could see a rusty trailer in what appeared to be a small canyon. There was a little dirty pond of water near the rock wall, not too far from the trailer. Hundreds of flies flew just above the murky surface. The area smelled of dead animals and sulfur.


Once they reached the trailer, the boy picked up an empty old plastic milk jug from the miscellaneous items strewn about the ground and walked over to the pond. The flies darted in every direction as the boy punched his arm into the water. After submerging the jug until it was filled, the boy took the water behind the trailer.


“Is… is that the water you’re offering?” Kristy asked hesitantly. She followed the boy and saw that there was a small campfire burning in a ring of rocks. The boy picked up a pot that was sitting on a grate above the fire and poured the water from the pond into it.


“Yeah,” the boy said, “it gets really clean after boiling it, I promise.”


There was no way she was letting that water anywhere near her lips. But what was she to do? Should she politely excuse herself? Or should she bolt to the car and lock herself inside, despite the suffocation she would have to endure? Was she overreacting?


Likely out of utter confusion, Kristy started to sit in one of the tattered lawn chairs by the fire. It wasn’t until she felt the drip down her elbow that decided against it.


You aren’t safe, she thought she heard the boy whisper, but when she looked over at him, his gaze hadn’t left the fire. The man joined them near the lawn chairs.


“Sorry for the mess,” the man said. “It’s been just me and the boy for past couple of weeks. We don’t ever expect any…  lady guests while we’re here. This is really the perfect spot to catch the animals that stop at the pond.”


Animals? she thought to herself. How can they catch animals out here, and in these conditions? It wasn’t until then that she noticed the pistol tucked into the waist of his pants. Kristy clasped her hands together.


“Ya know, I appreciate you all for your hospitality and everything, but I think I’m gonna head on back now.” She wished she didn’t have to pass the man to get back to her car. She figured her only option was to walk back calmly.


“But… but you didn’t get’chur water yet,” he said, gruffly.


“I’m okay, really. My tow will be here any minute now.” She continued to walk toward her car. As she tried to walk past the man to leave the canyon, he caught her by the wrist and squeezed it tightly.


“What did that boy say to you?” he hissed close to her ear.


“N- nothing,” she uttered. “I just didn’t realize that I wouldn’t be able to see the tow truck from here.”


As he reached for his gun, she broke free from his grasp and grabbed a fistful of sand from the ground. She threw it into his eyes and ran back toward the car without looking back. She made it all the way back when she heard the unmistakable sound of a gun shot in the air. She collapsed onto the hood of the car. The light started to fade around her.


“Miss! Miss! Are you alright?”


Kristy jumped as she felt someone vigorously shake her shoulder. A man in a grey mechanic uniform and a baseball cap had awakened her. A tow truck was parked in front of her car. She peered around and realized that it was now dark out.


“Was I sleeping?” she asked the man.


“Passed out, more likely,” he said, and handed her a bottle of water. “Sorry it took so long for me to come, but you’re waaaaay out here. You got your keys?”

September 12, 2020 05:45

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5 comments

Merinda Forwood
12:55 Sep 25, 2020

Great story Kayla. I think this is one of those stories that would be even more interesting if you decided to develop it more. It could be a longer version of the short story or even a chapter of a longer one.

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Julie Ward
21:17 Sep 19, 2020

Great story Kayla! You did a great job with the prompt. I felt the heat and the fear and Kristy's relief at the end. I love that we don't really know if the man and the boy were real or...? Well done!

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Kayla B. Moore
04:45 Sep 20, 2020

Thanks so much for your feedback Julie! I appreciate it :)

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Julie Ward
16:14 Sep 20, 2020

My pleasure! I'd love your opinion on my story when you have a minute!

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DHANANJAY SHARMA
10:01 Sep 25, 2020

Simply beautiful. I am speechless. Kindly go through mine. https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/60/submissions/35763/ Looking forward to collaborate with you.

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