Glug Hits the Road

Author’s Note: Another of my stories in verse. Hope it works!



Glug the Pug liked to toddle, to waddle, to trot,

Some dogs like to run at full tilt. Glug did NOT.

He snuffled and sniffled and kept his own pace,

a look of content on his wrinkled up face.

He was not one to hasten and not one to hurry,

and not one to scamper and not one to scurry.

Though every so often he felt a slight tug,

as his owner Lucy exclaimed, Come ON, Glug!

But one day Glug decided that this got him down,

and he’d had enough of the crowds and the town,

He wanted to snuffle and sniffle somewhere

with different smells wafting round in the air,

He wanted to toddle and waddle around

somewhere with grass and soil on the ground,

So he took his chance and, surprisingly quick

found that a shake of his head did the trick,

He slipped off his lead and still at his own pace,

a mischievous look on his wrinkled up face,

strutting on jaunty paws he padded away,

thinking, I’ll have a trip to the country today!

He just wanted an outing, a change, a day out,

and would soon find his way back to Lucy, no doubt,

She was so busy chatting and so busy buying,

Will she even miss me, he thought, loudly sighing.

But this was no time for sighing and moping,

this was a time for adventure and hoping,

This was a time that Glug meant to pass

Trotting along in the soil and the grass,

All the same it still seemed as he waddled his way

that the country was rather a long way away,

still at last he smelt freshness and earth on the ground

and there were no shoes and legs all around.

Now this is the life, thought Glug, is it not?

And the waddle turned into a purposeful trot,

This is more like it! The ticket, the thing,

though he only could woof, he wished he could sing,

he made his own music with merry bow-wow.

What’s that awful din? Oh dear! That was a cow!

He’d seen one on pictures but still had to shudder

as he realised he was under her udder!

He was sure that she meant him no harm at all,

or at least he hoped so – but, my word, she was tall!

He’d have sworn that the afternoon sun had grown dim

as she towered on four great legs over him,

Who might you be she asked, with a powerful moo,

Glug the Pug, he replied, for what else could he do,

And what might a pug be? asked the cow, as she eyed

Glug from on high looking quite mystified.

I’m a dog he replied, Isn’t that clear?

Mmmm, mooed the cow, Yes we have dogs here,

They can be useful creatures and handy to keep

Order when herding those troublesome sheep,

But they don’t look like you, dear me no, not at all,

Because – no offence – Goodness me, you are small,

And that face of yours – all wrinkled up -

You look really ancient, but act like a pup!

Well, Glug wasn’t sure he liked that remark,

but his at least he had wriggled out of the dark,

And was standing in the open field now,

no longer under the tall mooing cow,

and it soon dawned on him this was really as well,

as he heard a loud FLOP and then smelt such a smell,

anyway, he was hungry, he thought mustn’t grumble,

but then his tummy let out a loud rumble.

Peckish, eh? asked the cow, To judge by that din!

Well, be my guest. No objections, tuck in!

And Glug realised that he meant eat the grass,

well, what a strange thing that had come to pass!

Cats, he knew, ate it sometimes, but cats could be weird,

and anyway, on reflection, he feared,

it might make him sick, still, he had to, because

he was feeling decidedly weak on his paws!

He took a few mouthfuls, just to show willing,

but it tasted awful, and it wasn’t filling.

Not to your taste? asked the cow, scornfully,

Well, never mind, there’ll be more for me!

Glug went on his way, still drearily chewing,

and the cow ate with gusto, with no pause for mooing,

Glug felt rather low, but cheered up when he heard

the melodious chirp of a bold little bird.

There it was on the field, hopping and bright,

Glug thought, let’s make friends before it takes flight.

The bird was quite happy and gave a loud tweet,

and said It strikes me you’d like something to eat!

Oh, yes, please, Glug said, eagerly, That is so kind!

Help yourself, said the bird, Be my guest! I don’t mind!

You even can have that fat juicy one there,

And all to yourself! You don’t have to share!

What a sweet little bird, thought Glug, such a gent!

But then realised just what he had meant!

He saw something writhe and saw something squirm

and looked in disgust at a great big fat worm.

I shouldn’t be rude, he thought, but alas,

This would be even worse than eating the grass,

At least that doesn’t wriggle and squirm all the time,

and isn’t all covered in grime and in slime!

Suit yourself, said the bird, For I’m not insisting,

but truly I can’t see why you’re resisting,

Still, I won’t force you, it won’t go to waste,

If this fine dinner is not to your taste!

Glug felt quite ill just at the mere thought,

of eating a dinner of that slimy sort,

but he was still hungry, his tummy still rumbled,

he was feeling quite faint and he swayed, almost tumbled!

Now quite down-hearted, he went on his way,

then he was disturbed by an ear-piercing bray,

and thought, what is that? Is it a horse?

No – no not quite, a donkey, of course!

He seemed very friendly, but could he be sure,

given the sound of that raucous hee-haw!

Don’t fret, said the donkey, you need have no fears!

Glug looked up and saw two long comical ears!

Yes, it seemed he was friendly and kind in his ways,

despite the loud noise of those ear-piercing brays,

You look hungry, he said, and you sound it, too,

well, I can offer something to you!

He pointed his hoof, with another loud bray

toward a large bale of bright yellow hay,

And Glug thought of his home and his own bright red bowl

and started to howl like a little lost soul!

Oh dear, said the cow, with a most worried moo,

What in the world are we going to do?

Oh dear, said the bird, with a flap of his wings,

I really don’t know how to cope with such things!

Oh dear, said the donkey, oh dear and Hee-Haw,

The fact is we have to do something for sure!

They were sorry that Glug was so terribly sad,

but all of that howling was driving them mad!

Then along came a bee, all busy and humming,

and said, What’s that noise? The farmer is coming,

He covered his ears and said WHAT A ROW,

and in fact, well, just look, he’s coming right now!

Glug didn’t know what a farmer might be,

and wasn’t quite sure he wanted to see,

Still, he seemed nice enough, though his voice was quite rough,

and said Poor Little Chap! You’ve had quite enough!

What does he mean thought Glug, had enough?

For I couldn’t face that horrible stuff,

I feel that I haven’t eaten all day,

but still couldn’t manage the grass, worms, and hay!

I think, said the farmer, that we should get

advice and help from my friend the vet.

Glug heard the word vet and though his vet was kind,

she still stuck some needles into his behind!

The farmer tucked him under his arm,

and said, Let’s take you back into the warm,

with something to eat, and then we will see,

just whose little dog you turn out to be!

SOMETHING TO EAT! The best thing he could say,

and it wasn’t grass, wasn’t worms, wasn’t hay,

but – oh bliss, and oh wonder, all he could wish,

Beef-flavoured dog food piled up in a dish!

The vet, it turned out, was a most lovely man,

he stroked Glug and said, Well, I have a plan,

Sit still, old chap, and with my machine,

I’ll take a look at what can be seen.

Glug wondered if he liked the notion of it,

but had to confess it did not hurt a bit,

And the vet exclaimed, Bingo! For you have been chipped,

something, thank goodness, your owner’s not skipped!

And not long after that, Lucy’s voice called out GLUG!

She swept him in her arms and gave him a hug,

and said thanks to the farmer and thanks to the vet,

and said that their kindness she’d never forget,

soon Glug was no longer a little lost soul,

but safely at home with his big bright red bowl.

He curled up asleep in his basket, and dreamt

about that strange day, and what it had meant,

how he’d been quite heroic, and unselfish, too,

and done everything that a dog ought to do,

When he told his story, he’d know what to say,

he’d said no to the grass, and the worms and the hay,

When the cow, bird and donkey said he could share -

take their lovely food – it just wouldn’t be fair!