Infidelity

Nothing was as sweet as infidelity.  

When James had met Marina, he knew she was in love with someone else. That was just part of what made their Romance so exhilarating to him. 

Here, in Marina, James had found not just an attractive woman; one who sexually enticed him-- but, he had also found in her a story;  a personal victory which sent him a rush of blood— the self aggrandizement of being chosen, and the adolescent thrill arising from the two of them betraying their mates for one another.  

James had first noticed Marina in the film archive library.  Not many people frequented that particular part of the massive campus they both studied at.

It was in the dusty old film archive library where James managed to secure the ultimate part time job— one which afforded him not only his weekend drinking expenses, but also, due to the lack of people, the majority of his study time. 

The film archive is where James had initially met his actual girlfriend, the one whom he was so excited to cheat on with Marina. Her name was Rebecca. James knew Rebecca was interested from the moment she first came to the archive and asked him for help. Rebecca quickly diverted the conversation from asking for help to asking about James himself. 

“Is that an Econ textbook you’re reading?”

“Indeed it is”

Said James. 

“Oh.”

Said Rebecca, not knowing what to say next.

James looked up at her waiting for to dismiss him back to his studying. He hated when he was actually required to do anything while he was at work. 

“I’m Rebecca.”

She smiled. 

“James. Nice to meet you” 

“What’s your major?” 

Rebeccas eyes were praying on him, wide with interest 

It was at that moment that James bothered to  size her up and down. After deciding she was attractive enough, and seeing how conspicuously attracted to him she was, he decided to take her out that Friday. 

After some months of lackluster sex Rebecca’s infatuation only grew more for James. But, it was around that time when Marina and her boyfriend Gregory had happened to stumble into the film archives. 

Had it only been once, perhaps nothing ever would’ve happened between James and Marina. The problem, however, was that Marina and Gregory came in repeatedly. They became regulars, and continued to checkout films, many of which James happened to personally love. 

The more he saw of the couple, the more James found himself thinking about Marina. James was always a jealous person. But never had he been more jealous than he had when he saw Marina together with Gregory. Whenever they came in, James couldn’t help but let his eyes fall to look at the couples hands locked, or spotting them embracing behind some of the large bookcases lining the archive. James saw Marina and Gregory in his dreams. With deep desire, he longed for Marina to be his own. He wished Gregory would simply disappear.  

James was pleased when Marina entered the archive one Friday afternoon, without Gregory. From what he had seen of the two, their love was unbreakable. It was miles apart from his own relationship.  He was pleased when Marina came up to him with tears in her eyes. As surprised as he was, he saw no reason not to exploit the opportunity presenting itself before him.

While Marina was never oblivious to James’s good looks, at the same time, she wasn’t susceptible to them herself. She didn’t find James to be particularly interesting in any way whatsoever.  On that Friday afternoon, James was, to her, the best of a bad situation. 

Marina had noticed James’s interest in her from the beginning, but it had never mattered. She tried to ignore his prying eyes, and focus all her attention and affection on the object of her love, Gregory. 

To Marina, Gregory was a lifeline— a piercing light, penetrating down into the dark depths of her solitary isolated existence as a college freshman living in an overcrowded dorm. 

She had no relationship with her parents aside from them paying for her tuition and her groceries and her train tickets home on the holidays.  They weren’t bad people, in Marina’s eyes; they simply didn’t understand her.  

And the same went for the people whom she met  In her classes and tutorials and the cafeterias and the coffee shops she frequented-- her only respite from the sometimes aching loneliness she had been trying to grow accustomed to. 

Meeting Gregory in her History of Film course changed that. He seemed to be a rare breed of young college males— one who actually valued learning and getting educated-- and that was incredibly sexy to Marina. 

Their bond began through their bold outspoken indifference to Spielberg as a director. The entire class roared with disapproval when Gregory denounced Raiders of the Lost Ark 

one afternoon after it had screened during seminar.  

Despite her never raising her hand in her entire college career thus far, Marina found it in herself to be the lone defender of Gregory on his holy crusade against Spielberg. 

Marina saw him walking towards her seat once class was dismissed 

“Hey, glad to know someone with actual sense exists in this class besides me. “

Gregory said,  smiling  as she was packing up her notes

“Actually, I think you’re out to lunch.”

Said Marina with a smirk. 

“It was a great film, I just felt like agreeing with you. Fuck these robots. “

And like that, their fate as lovers was sealed. 

Afternoons and evenings spent watching movies and hiking through the many nearby parks and disagreeing with eachother for the fun of it— the two had each found their perfect match. 

And James could see all this in the way the couple looked at each other when they came into the archive. Not only that, but he could see it when he looked into the eyes of his own girlfriend, Rebecca— or rather, the lack of something which he had seen in Marina and Gregory’s relationship. 

But, James didn’t think twice about any of that when he saw Marina arrive at the archive, alone, that Friday afternoon. 

“Any recommendations for a heartbreak?” 

She asked with tears in her eyes.

“In terms of films, or...?”

“Anything.”

She breathed a heavy sigh

“In terms of anything.” 

“Bottle of wine, at my place?” 

“What time are you finished here?”

“8.”

“Sure, I’ll meet you here” 

Said Marina. And then she left to her dorm. 

James quickly called Rebecca and told her he was feeling sick and would be going straight home after work, unable to go to the little gathering she was having with her friends from her acting class. 

As Marina walked through the chilly autumn campus, trudging throigh mounds of blowing leaves and discarded fast food bags, she felt like she was in one of the surreal French films her and Gregory had once enjoyed so much together. 

It had been a week since the hit and run accident which had promptly left Gregory dead.

Seeing as their relationship together had been kept so personal— as the two of them both didn’t exchange personal information with anyone else aside from each other—  Marina had only heard about his death a from reading the school paper reports of the accident. 

After attending the funeral, she was left once again, helplessly alone in her dorm room. And there was James, the best of a bad situation— James, the only hope she had for someone who could indulge her need to escape her pain—through films and sex and hopefully some decent pot. 

As Marina walked through campus the surreal French film she was living became more and more disorienting. She felt as though the cruel universe had played a joke on her. She heard laughter in the howling wind as all her memories of her beloved afternoons spent with Gregory played out before her. 

Nothing about James was even remotely close to Gregory.  He smelt different. He tasted different and even the movies weren’t as good watching them cuddled up next to him. Marina couldn’t help the feeling that she had done something horribly wrong.  Yes, Gregory was dead. He was soon to be dust in the universe. Just as she would be. 

But, marina couldn’t help but ask herself: so what if he was dead? Her love was still very much alive. Death couldn’t tamper that even abit.  Just because he was dead, didn't mean it wasn't cheating, Marina thought to herself.

Meanwhile, James was living his finest hour. He felt as if he had triumphed over the couple's love, overcome his own jealous urges, and, his passionate lust for Marina fulfilled-- he was contented at last.

Marina suddenly  digscusted with herself, stood up and stormed out from James’s apartment. In her heart of hearts was a guilty sickness— one that comes from betraying the ones you love. The guilty sickness of infidelity.