Defeat

“It doesn’t count if you’re already planning your defeat” 

The words echoed in my head. That's what she had said the last time I had lost this futile competition.  An embarrassing loss that I still hadn’t lived down, but here I was competing again and this time I planned for victory.

I remembered the last competition like it was yesterday.  I hadn’t thought of her as an opponent but as a distraction, now I knew how wrong I had been to think that. 

I had been preparing all day.  We had planned for the competition to be at 3 pm sharp but my nerves had gotten the better of me and I had gotten her to push it off till 5. It was 4:30 now.  I knew I didn’t have much time and people would be gathering soon, but all I could think about was my last defeat.

I walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on my face, trying to shake off the doubt I felt.  I glanced up at the small mirror that hung crookedly on the wall and saw my reflection staring back.

“You can do this, Calvin.” The Blond haired blue eyed reflection told me, showing confidence which I wish I had.

I stepped away from the sink and ran over my opponent's strengths and weaknesses.  I knew that she was very strategic from the last time we had fought.  She had caught me off guard last time and that's something I couldn’t afford to happen again.  The one thing I knew she lacked in was speed and that was something I had.  I planned to be too fast for her to pin me down.  If I could avoid her long enough, I knew she would wear out faster than me and then I could take the win.  I needed that plan to work because, in this type of competition, there was no such thing as backup plans.

I walked out of the bathroom and down the hall, I looked at all the pictures hanging on the wall.  There was a picture of David, my younger brother, and I at Six Flags.  Now that was a great day.  David had eaten a ton of Buttery popcorn, a hotdog, and some cotton candy right before we had gotten on the Biggest rollercoaster in the park.  Let’s just say, David spent about an hour in the bathroom after that.  I chuckled softly to myself remembering how awesome that day had been.

I looked at the clock. It was getting close to 5 and I needed to get going if I wanted to be there on time.  I slowly put on my shoes and socks and dragged my feet to the door.  I yelled goodbye to let those in the house know that I was leaving.  I quietly closed the door and walked down the driveway.  I started walking to my destination and watched the kids in their yards playing happily without a care in the world while I slowly walked to my doom.  The walk was only about 5 minutes but even 5 minutes was too short.  I wish it could have been longer but sadly it wasn’t.  

I arrived at my destination and looked at my watch, it was 4:56 pm.  Only four minutes till I became an outcast.  “I’m not ready,” I thought as I hung my head in shame, but immediately I brought my head back up.  If I had to go down in this competition I wouldn’t go down looking like a coward.

4:57. My heart was racing and I hoped it wasn’t showing on my face.

I looked across the ring and saw her emerge.  “Emily.” I breathed, hating the very sound of her name in my mouth.  She was the most Tomboy girl I had ever met.  Her dirty blond hair always had some form of nature in it.  Sometimes mud sometimes leaves, and sometimes even color like she had put hair dye in it to make herself look “cool” or intimidating.  Well, she was pretty intimidating but I couldn’t show any fear.  Today she had a strip of black in her hair right next to the obvious strip of mud.   She had a look of total certainty on her face that said she was going to win.  I felt in my heart the same, I was positive she was going to win. 

I knew it was all mental and that if I told myself that I would lose then I would lose.

“You are going to win.” I forced myself to say the lie over and over again, but it didn’t help.

I looked over all the people who had gathered and saw David’s blonde hair bouncing up and down as he cheered me on and I knew, whatever the cost, I couldn’t let him down.  I would try my best to make him proud. 

I looked again at my watch, it said 5:00 pm. The minutes had passed by too fast.

Emily and I stepped into the ring. We both walked forward until we met in the middle of the ring.  We shook hands as Emily’s sister stood there.  She had been chosen as the referee in this fight.  

“This ring is very big,” I thought to myself as I gulped.

“Scared Calvin?” Emily asked with a sneer on her face.  I was scared but I was never gonna admit that to a girl. 

“Of what? You Emily? Ha, you make me laugh. No one could ever be scared of a dirty little girl like you.” I said with the only fake confidence I could muster.  I had a ton of practice faking things like this to my little brother, David.  I saw anger flicker on her face, but only briefly.  She quickly replaced it with a smirk like she knew I was bluffing.

Along with all the rest of the neighborhood kids, mom and dad started counting down. 

“5.” I  prepared myself in the cardboard ring we had made earlier that day.

“4.” Staring at my older sister Emily. I can’t lose to my 10-year-old sister again. I would never be able to live it down.  Well, until next year when we do this again. It is a sacred tradition.  The first fight of the Summer.  Who knows, maybe by next year I’ll be as strong as dad and then I will be the Master Champion. 

“3.” I made sure I wasn’t about to pee my pants.

“2.” I looked at my 5-year-old brother standing on the outside of the ring with mom and dad.

“1.” We latched hands.

“GO.” Our older sister, Alaina, shouted and we started the thumb war.