The Flora Singer

Lilly wasn’t quite sure what she was.  Her village would call her a witch but she didn’t like that word.  Witches were burned.  She didn’t  think it fit anyway, so she called herself a Singer.  Being a woman now, she figured she was old enough to name her kind, whoever else it might include.  Walking along her well worn path through the trees, she listened to the soft singing of birds symphonize with the low hum of insects.  The damp smell of moss tickled her nose as she came upon the small clearing.  Lifting her legs high to maneuver around the underbrush, she made it to her mushroom patch on the large dead log and eyed her stock.  Only small baby sprouts poking up remained but Ma had said not to come back unless she had mushrooms.  

Reining in her focus, her thoughts reached out like tendrils, tenderly caressing the edges of the fungus, reaching down to its roots; she began to sing.  A soft, sweet melody floated through the forest, gently dancing along the leaves.  The mushrooms started to move very slowly.  Growing faster as her connection to the plant strengthened, new mushrooms popped up and ballooned out as she continued her work.  Feeling out of breath she stopped and a smile of pride spread across her face at her work.

Her task completed with time to spare, Lilly excitedly trotted down the trail to the creek where the banks flowed in multicolored flowers she grew.  She sat in her favorite spot on the edge of the bank, the babbling of the water filling her ears, feet dangling in the cold flow of water, mind set free to wander.  Lilly had never crossed this creek, she liked to dream of what might be on the other side of the creek or what types of places might be beyond the forest.  She yearned to explore, but her responsibilities kept her tied to her Ma.  All they had were each other.

Sudden realization that the sun had dipped below the trees, Lilly jumped up and raced back up the path.  Pulling out enough mushrooms for dinner, she went as quickly as she could back to the small farm on the edge of the village.  The house came into view, smoke billowing out the chimney, and her Ma waiting for her looking around the house nervously.  

“Where have you been, young lady?”  Ma said with tension thick in her voice.

“Sorry Ma, I wanted to make sure I found enough.”

“Well get on in and finish super quickly.  You know how your Pa gets when he is hungry.”

Yes, she thought, I know.  When he is hungry, displeased, drunk, or really any other way.  I know very well ‘how he gets’.  Entering the small home, Lilly felt her chest tighten, the air thick as water.  She shut the door, slipped off her sandals, and felt the smoothed wood under her feet as she moved to the fireplace with the pot bubbling away over the hot coals.  Pulling in a breath, the sweet aroma of vegetables filled her nostrils and made her mouth salivate - even simple stews can smell like savory gifts when someone is hungry.  She brushed off the mushrooms, broke them into pieces, and gently tossed them into the softly bubbling liquid.  Ears pricked to detect sounds of approach, she carefully stirred in the new additions.  Lilly did almost everything tentatively.  Although it might be more irritating to Ma and Pa, it was much less likely to result in messes and bruises.  The sound of someone arriving made Lilly’s heart jump until she saw Ma walk in.

“You’d better wash your hands and face girl, you’re filthy!” said Ma.

Lilly’s eyes grew wide as she realized she had forgotten. She left swiftly, rounding the house to the wash basin.  Dumping her hands into the frigid water she frantically scrubbed her face and hands clean, watching as the dirt billowed, a brown cloud spreading out.  She was cutting it rather close tonight.  Cursing herself for daydreaming, she wiped her hands dry on her shirt, snuck back into the house, and froze.

“It’s nice of you to join us, Lilly,” Pa said dangerously.  Barely able to pull in a breath, Lilly looked down as if studying the lines on the floor would somehow help her.

“Sorry Pa, I was late collecting mushrooms,” she said in a small voice  

Her Pa looked at her for what seemed like an eternity as she stood frozen, waiting.

“Dinner is ready,” Ma said tentatively.

Pa turned towards her, “Well then, we should eat,” he said.  He grasped Ma’s bottom as he walked over to his dark wooden chair at the small table.  The women sprang into motion, swirling around gathering bowls and glasses.  Ma quickly placed down a bowl of steaming stew in front of Pa and whisked off to get the pint of drink.  As Ma brought over the filled mug, her foot caught the chair and the glass knocked into the edge of the table.

“Damn it WOMAN!” Pa shouted.  He shot up, his pants dripping, and turned to his wife.  A harsh snap rang through the air, echoing around the small room.  Lilly’s heart was pounding in her ears as she pulled in unsteady breaths.  She could feel the burning flames that would be licking along Ma’s cheek.  A fury in her planted long ago was growing ever more, a fury for Ma’s situation and their helplessness to change it.  Each outburst that wilted her Ma seemed to water and feed Lilly’s fury.

“I better have a fresh drink when I get back,” Pa said sternly as he went to change.  Lilly returned to life first and cleaned up the mess.  She picked up the cup, refilled it, and gently carried it back to the table.  Ma, slowly resurfacing, automatically filled the remaining bowls.  Once everything was set, the women sat down in silence, waiting.  Pa re-entered, took his seat, and the three ate in a ringing silence.  Probing her thoughts for a way to escape, thoughts flashed in her mind of the time she brought things up to Ma.  Her thoughts plunged into the memory.

Lilly as a young girl reveled in the work she did outside, running with the birds as they flew intricate paths in the sky.  Excited for her first solo forage into the forest, Lilly repeatedly checked her belt, three knives and two bags.  The freedom of adventure and being alone raced down her spine and out her arms in a way she couldn’t explain.  The first smile she could remember blossomed up as she looked out to the richly green forest, determined to be helpful to Ma.  It was during her first foraging that Lilly noticed the plants grew for her.  She would sing along the paths as she ventured out and they would be fuller when she walked back.  Filling up her bags as she walked, Lilly returned excitedly and presented her prize.  She had never seen her Ma’s eyebrows quite so high.

“Did you really find all this today?” Ma asked.

“I did Ma!  I really like being in the forest,” she replied, unable to hide her pride.  “You know Ma,” she started very tentatively. “Maybe we,” suddenly nervous she looked down to the floor.  “Maybe we could leave.  I am really good at finding things in the forest, and you’re great at cooking it,” Lilly said testing out her plan.  Ma’s eyes widened at the suggestion as she peered around to check no one was near.

“Lilly, you can’t speak of such things.  Look around at all you see, everything here belongs to Pa, this whole farm.  Women can’t own land or houses.  We would have nowhere to go without Pa, no one would take us in.  The only family I have is my sister down the road, and she must abide by her husband.  People don’t interfere with matters of the home.  I have been married to your Pa and must stay with him until one of us dies.  When you are older you will understand,” Ma explained.

“But, there must be something we can do,” Lilly pressed.

“Things just are the way they are, there is nothing you can do about it,” Ma concluded as she turned to her load and began prepping and sorting.  Lilly couldn’t understand why Ma was crushing her ideas, why she would so easily remain.

After Pa finished his meal he sat back and drained his drink.  He eyed his wife with a hungry look that froze Lilly’s blood.  They had been dancing along a thin line since she was late.  She could hear her blood pounding in her ears knowing part of his mood was her doing.  Ma slowly ate her stew looking down at the bowl, not daring to indicate she noticed the predator stalking her.  Suddenly, Pa stood up.  “Come, wife,” he said as he grabbed her arm, pulling her out of her chair.

“W-won’t you go to the tavern first? I’m still eating my dinner,” she attempted.  His look bore into her as she stared at her half eaten meal.  

“Pa, please leave Ma, it was all my fault. I came home late,” Lilly stood as she tried to see if she could fix what she started.  Her Pa continued to eye his wife. “Go to your room, girl.”

Lilly’s throat closed up and she struggled to breathe.  Every ounce of her screamed to run.  Looking at her Ma, tense as a deer who heard a hunter, helpless, trapped.  Her Ma who was her whole life, who taught her everything, who tried her best to shield her.  Lilly froze for too long.

“Get out girl!” Pa yelled.

Fury billowed through her as she thought of her mother who was so beaten down she couldn’t imagine a different life.  Rebellion grew up in her as she thought of all they had to live with.  Lilly slowly raised her gaze up to his - maybe she could distract him from Ma.  His eyes widened as he loosened his grip on his wife, momentarily forgotten.

“I see you need to be taught your place,” Pa said as his eyes traced her new curves, “It’s about time you were wed, then you will learn.”  The words crawled up her spine, pricking at her flesh.  The thought of being wed somehow never crossed her mind.  Her throat closed up as she thought of being taken away from Ma, from her forest, to a different home where a man could do as he pleased.  

“You should go...,” was all Lilly could manage, the words barely escaping her lips.  

Her Pa smiled wickedly and walked over to her and struck her in her gut.  Lilly bent in half as her body spasmed, trying to pull air back into her lungs, shock shooting through her.  His next swing hit the side of her head and the world went black.

***

Lilly slowly rose to awareness and noticed she was lying down and very cold.  Opening her eyes, she saw the shadows long in the room - the sun was setting, several hours had passed.  Ears scanning for clues, she found only silence.  Rising up she cringed at the painful movements and went to peek into her parents room.  Ma was curled up in the bed, rocking back and forth.  Lilly went over to her and without thinking, brushed her hair with her fingers, like her Ma did to calm her.  After what felt like an eternity Lilly tried to speak, her voice raspy, “Ma, you go to aunt Gail’s tonight.  I’ll finish up with the chickens and come shortly.”  Ma resisted but Lilly gently pulled her up, helped her dress, and wiped the blood from Ma’s face.  Lilly’s face was carved from stone as she eyed the bruises down Ma’s arms.  Ma may have been beaten into submission long ago, but unfortunately for Pa, Lilly was not willing to settle.  

She helped her Ma out the door, brought her down the path a bit and, giving her a tender hug, bade her goodnight.  Thinking of her Ma made her heart twist but she knew she would make it the short way to her sister’s house, they would take care of her.  The bright red of the sun set on her Ma as she watched her walk away.  She turned her back to the receding figure; she had a job to do.  

An idea that had floated around her mind as she let it wander had stuck in the dirt and taken sprout.  Pondering over the details, this vague idea had taken route and the sprouts of a plan were flourishing.  Reaching the  house, Lilly paused for just a moment to allow what she was planning to do sink in.  Lilly  knew she would only have an hour or so before he came back, drunk as a skunk. Her mind set, she quickly went to the edge of the forest and searched around the base of the trees.  Picking up her prizes, she grabbed a handful of soil for good luck and returned to the house.  Entering the now vacant room, the smell she did not notice before hit her like a wall as she entered. The stench of blood and musky scent thick in the air turned her stomach.  She divided her tiny weapons into several piles in the middle of the mattress under a sheet.

Lilly moved onto her next task, grabbed a bag and threw in a water skin and some root vegetables, bread, dried fruit, and some cooking items. She then moved to her room and strapped her foraging belt to her waist, the familiar weight grounding her.  Checking she had her knives, collecting bags, and string, she tossed some clothes in the bag and left her room.  Reaching up to gather both large cloaks and a bedroll on her way out, she took one last look around.  As she turned out and stood on the quiet entryway, the click of the door closing behind her rang through her head as she set off. Lilly walked over to the edge of the forest, laid down her load, and sat on a log in view of the bedroom window, waiting.  The sun had dipped past the trees bringing in a chill to creep up the arms.  Lilly sat, on the edge of her freedom, watching the path to their house.

Sounds came in that were disconnected from those of the forest.  She watched as Pa came into view, stumbling along the path and into the house.  She waited several more minutes to let him get settled, her heart thumping louder as her time came closer.  Knowing she was stretching her abilities, Lilly slowly started honing her focus to the seeds she planted so carefully.  Picturing the small circular objects, imagining them sprouting, their roots reaching out, she let her voice loose.  Thinking of Ma and all she had lived through, her voice built up to a symphony of rage and grief, pushing out the night sounds of the forest.

 In her mind the plant sprung up, her weapon to set things right. Lilly watched as small branches started to sprout on the edges of the bed, growing and blooming in a web of saplings. As they grew taller, the trucks expanded outward, closing in the space between them.  A muffled yell that built to a panicked scream split the air.  Her voice lifted even higher as rage mixed in with the notes, tears rolling down her cheeks. 

Determined to have her end, Lilly continued her song, watching the saplings grow thick and reach up higher.  The scream from inside the trees had gone silent as the trunks expanded further, ripping her past apart.  The branches stretched up, flourishing green leaves, until they broke out into the night sky.

Lilly stopped her singing and swayed unsteadily, spots invading her vision.  She gulped in several deep breaths.  She moved her glance over to the path leading away from the house and thought, I wish you luck and peace Ma.  I’ll always think of you.  Letting a last tear streak down, Lilly turned her back on the small farm at the edge of the village.  She turned her back on the tall trees that had a house hugging its base.  She turned her back on her past and started out along her well worn path into the forest. She was determined to find the other end, determined to find somewhere she would be safe, somewhere with others like her.  She hummed as she walked, plants reaching out to her as she went past.  She was the Flora Singer and she was finally free.