32 comments

Speculative Inspirational American

 

Chlorine hangs heavy in the humid evening air. Bare footed children yell “red light! green light!” in an age-old game of you can’t get to the other side before someone yells “red light!” again at the other person. Moms chase children with towels trying to herd them towards cars. Grandmas helpfully shout out, “I’ll order the pizza!” It is another closing day at the city pool and the families are being sent out into the parking lot. 


The life guards can be glimpsed through the doors as they sweep, mop, empty garbage cans, and tidy up for the next day. One guard is outside the gate, a tall blond pony tailed girl carrying a garbage bag and wearing blue plastic gloves. Another girl, also a blond, appears in the doorway. She is even taller than the garbage picker upper. This one isn’t in a blue guard suit though. She has on a leopard suit and skin tight black jeans. Her head turns to look out into the parking lot and catches the eye of the person in the car. Her face lights up in a smile and her arm bends into a quick wave before she ducks back inside. 


Gia had spotted her mom in the parking lot. Well, it was now or never. Her mom has an eagle eye and a mother’s intuition like no other. She probably already knows something is up. Gia wonders if she looked natural when she waved or did she look guilty already? Did the new piercing glint in the sunlight? Crap! Which way did she have her head turned anyway?


Chloe walks out with some of the other guards, laughing and joking. “Have a good night!” She calls over her shoulder before she pulls open the door of her mom’s car. “Hi, mom! Rocko jumped into the pool today! He went off the diving board all by himself! I taught him that! I am so proud of him and myself!”


“That’s awesome!” the mother says, “You’ve taught so many kids how to swim this summer!”


“Gia probably won’t say hi because she’s tired and just wants to go home,” Chloe says.

“Well, we’ll sit here for a minute just in case…” the mom trails off hopefully. “Tell me more about Fun Friday. Who else did you have to catch today?”


Gia’s car zips up beside the mom’s and she rolls down her window. She turns her head just enough so that the mom can’t fully see her face. But the mom can see quite clearly what it is that she isn’t supposed to be seeing. Her heart sinks to her feet and she fights the urge to either vomit or burst into tears. Her baby girl has marred her beautiful body again.


Gia has a new haircut to show her mom. She takes down her ponytail and shakes out her hair to showcase the new layers. She asks, “What do you think? You like?”


Of course Gia doesn’t see the piercings and tattoos as distractions or detractions. She doesn’t get that her mother made her perfectly perfect. She doesn’t get that each mark tears a piece of her mom’s heart. It is like taking a piece of her mom’s artwork and making it into someone else’s sculpture. It’s like she failed at making her daughter and now her daughter is trying to repaint the canvas. How can Gia not know that she is already perfect? How many more inkings and holes will it take before this insanity stops? 


“Mom?” Gia says. 


“What? Sorry, I got distracted.”


“What do you think of my hair cut?” But Gia’s eyes already look sad, like mom has already failed her. Mom has already disappointed her again. 


“Oh! I like it!” The mom’s eyes are still drawn to the ring in her daughter’s nose. She is scanning the rest of her neck and face to see if there are more tattoos or piercings also. The panic and confusion and concern is rising like the bile in her throat. 


“Mom? I love you, I said, I love you…” Gia is starting to drive away now.


“I love you too. I’m sorry. I was just distracted.” But she is talking to the air. Georgia’s car has zipped away and out of the parking lot. The moment is gone. 


The mom turns to Chloe, “You are beautiful, don’t change, and I mean that.”


When a baby is born a mother will spend hours rocking and holding her child. She will stare at her child, memorize the curl of the eyelashes, the bump of the nose, the curve of the ears. She will hold on to those little fingers and little toes and kiss each one a million times. She will rub the tummy and rub the back. She will know her baby’s scent from any other baby’s scent. A mother will just know her baby. 


But sometimes you can look and look but not really see…


Gia stops in the next morning to drop off a forgotten towel that Chloe left in her car. The mom stares into the sparkly blue eyes that she made. She sees the teeth that the orthodontist told them needed braces, so they paid for braces that pulled teeth here and pushed teeth there, but her smile was already beautiful. She sees the pink cheeks that look healthy and happy; she has gained a little weight, so this is good. She sees the beautiful new haircut that her daughter has. She sees that her daughter is happy. And that is really all that a mom wants...to have made a child who is happy. 

The mother smiles and hugs her daughter and says, “I love you.”

___

It’s August and the monarch butterflies are starting their dance. Chloe asks, “Is it too early to find caterpillars?” 


“We can start looking,” the mom says. Chloe and the mom are kayaking together on a quiet river. 


“If caterpillars never changed, then we wouldn’t have butterflies, right mom?” Chloe says. 


Chloe knows this is something that the mom has often said. And, that she wants her children to have the wings to fly. The mom is an avid butterfly lover. Every fall they collect caterpillars and watch them transform into butterflies. It’s a tradition and a wonderful analogy for change and growth and growing wings to fly away. 


The caterpillars start out so tiny. Some are barely bigger than a pencil point. With milkweed and patience, they will grow into the size of a pinky finger within two weeks. They keep the caterpillars in a large net cage. Once the caterpillars are the size of their pinkies, they can stop feeding them as they will crawl to the top of the cage to make a J shape. Once in a J shape, they turn into bright green chrysalises. They will stay inside for up to two weeks. Once this green chrysalis turns black, you can start to see the wings through the chrysalis. The butterfly will slowly unfold itself from the chrysalis and TA-DA! There is a somewhat wet, but beautiful monarch butterfly. Some are much larger than others. Boys have a small black spot on their back wing. Boys also have slightly thinner wing veins and girls tend to be slightly darker than boys. One year they had ten butterflies at one time. Most years they have only three or four. 


The butterflies will fly around the house for a day or two. They feed them slices of oranges. It's fun to watch them suck the juice through their long straws (it's called a proboscis) that curl out of their mouths and into the fruit. Eventually the mom tells the girls that it is time to let the butterflies go. The children are sad, but they enjoy the ceremony of taking the butterflies into the backyard and releasing them one at a time. Each one is set free to fly away up and over the trees.


Suddenly the mom sees it. It has taken hundreds of butterflies released in the backyard to realize that this was all in preparation for releasing her own beautiful children someday. She sees the butterfly that is her daughter, happy and full of life, with a full set of wings and flying away. She will soon have to let Chloe out of the cage too. Her wings are drying. And she is about ready to fly away soon. 


Without change, there wouldn’t be any butterflies.


August 07, 2021 13:12

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32 comments

Chicken Writer
18:29 Aug 07, 2021

I love how the story is present tense, like instead of saying, she drove away, you said she is driving away. When I try to write one of these stories, I fail. Great job!!!

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Francis Daisy
22:04 Aug 07, 2021

Oh my gosh! This is my first time trying this, so thank you for noticing and thinking I succeeded! :)

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Chicken Writer
13:35 Aug 08, 2021

I would have never known it was your first time, your welcome! Keep on writing stories like that! :)

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00:52 Aug 26, 2021

I loved the tenderness implied in your narration and the analogy with the metamorphosis of a butterfly. As always, a great story and job!!! You rock as a writer. Blessings.

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Francis Daisy
01:41 Aug 26, 2021

Henry, You are so sweet. Thank you! By the way, we presently have two caterpillars who have turned into their chrysalises. They should be butterflies by next week. The tradition continues at our house. May you also always have sunshine and butterflies also. :)Amy

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01:46 Aug 26, 2021

Really?! How nice! I find this process extraordinary and extremely beautiful, this metamorphosis is a pure and natural metaphor to tell us we can always change for the better. It's so nice you keep that tradition! Thanks again for everything. Take very good care of yourself.

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Francis Daisy
01:56 Aug 26, 2021

What kinds of butterflies live where you are? (I just took a quick peek at your profile) The older I get, the more of a nature nut I become. Birds and butterflies only, not bugs or snakes! BTW, we are both teachers! And, we are both a deck of cards! (52) What do ya know about that? Birds of a feather flock together!

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23:41 Aug 26, 2021

Well, I'm from Costa Rica, which is a country in Central America and that area is tropical, what I mean is that we have almost all the types of butterflies (we even export the cocoons). In fact, Costa Rica has almost 6% of all animals and plants in the world but "we are" only 51 000 Km2. And, yes, we also have lots of bugs and snakes haha. And lots of rain! It's very beautiful down here, indeed. If you wish, you can "facebook" me (the name in my Reedsy account is my real one) and take a look at different pictures of my country, for you to ha...

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Francis Daisy
09:50 Aug 27, 2021

You have beaches and volcanoes too! And the most beautiful birds I have ever googled! OMG! And the waterfalls too! If I am ever brave enough, I would LOVE to someday move somewhere to teach, even for a year or two. Maybe when I grow up and retire I will move to a beautiful place and teach little people to read and write in English. Who am I kidding? I've been saying this since before I even started teaching in the dark ages! I never would have guessed that English wasn't your first language, by the way. Why did I use Google to find photos o...

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Daniel R. Hayes
05:47 Aug 18, 2021

Hi Amy, You did a fantastic job writing this story. I've noticed that with each new one you put out, you get better and better. So glad you keep writing, you're definitely one of my favorite authors on here. Sorry I'm late to this, I've been working on my novel and I really got behind on my reading. Great job as always on this one! :)

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Francis Daisy
12:20 Aug 18, 2021

Hi Daniel! <blush, blush> Thank you, it's an honor to be noticed and complimented by a writer such as you! My pieces are only getting better because of the Reedsy community and the feedback I am getting. This is such a great place to be! You are writing a novel? Holy hot tamale! Really! I can only hope to someday reach that point. Everyone tells me that after the life I've lived I have enough stories to write several novels, but it is a matter of actually writing that gets in the way...in the meantime, I will keep practicing. I can't wai...

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Daniel R. Hayes
15:57 Aug 18, 2021

Hi Amy, I'm so glad that you will keep writing. Your stories always seem to stick with me for several days and that's a sign of a great writer! I have no doubt that you have a novel in you and I know what you mean about actually writing it. I have to write mine in my spare time and it's a long and hard process, but I think I have something really good. And... lol... yes I'll autograph a copy for you, but remember when you write one, I hope to get a signed copy as well :) :) ;)

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Shoshana A
05:55 Aug 16, 2021

This is so relatable. I never understood my mother stopping me from doing anything to change my looks, but after reading i sure do understand her. Thanks for writing this story. Very well written.

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Francis Daisy
12:08 Aug 16, 2021

Shoshana, It all boils down to POV. I suppose if I had written it from the perspective of the pierced/inked child, the story would have taken a bit of a different direction...but then again maybe not. Change is change. We all struggle with change. Thank you for reading, commenting, and complimenting! :) Have a super day! -A:)

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Alex Sultan
04:08 Aug 13, 2021

I enjoyed reading this - I like the metaphor you're getting across and the pacing of the story. Present tense does well here. This is not something I usually read or write, so I found it refreshing to read. :)

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Francis Daisy
11:03 Aug 13, 2021

Alex, Thank you! I had a REALLY hard time keeping my tenses straight! (It became quite tense! LOL) But with a lot of super feedback and great support from Reedsy friends, I think I edited and rewrote and fixed all the parts that needed to be switched so that it flowed correctly. Thank you for reading - even if it isn't sci fi/fantasy! :)Amy

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Scott Skinner
23:52 Aug 11, 2021

I like the last line a lot, and I think the story ends well in that you show the mother's resolution of her perception of her daughter through the way she views her tradition of collecting Monarch butterflies. The tenses were a little confusing at points. For example, the first line is 'Chlorine hung heavy', which is past tense, but the rest of the paragraph is present. It should probably be changed to 'hangs.' Also, the beginning of the 3rd paragraph is present tense, but in the 2nd paragraph, you already told us what happened (that Gia...

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Francis Daisy
02:56 Aug 12, 2021

Scott, Thank you for your VERY helpful and concrete suggestions! I took your feedback and went back over my piece AGAIN and made several changes. IF you have time, and could possibly take a look, would you mind? If not, that is okay too. I am not sure if I am going to submit it to the contest...there are so many amazing stories out there. I think I still have a long way to go. Again, thank you for taking the time to go through my piece with a fine tooth comb! I truly appreciate your time and comments! :)Amy

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Gip Roberts
19:59 Aug 10, 2021

Not only did I learn a lot about butterflies, but also this story is brilliant! The metaphor with the daughters as caterpillars turning into butterflies really made an impression on me. Right now, Gia is sort of still in the caterpillar stage, with the piercings and tattoos, as she tries to figure her life out; eventually, she will mature into an adult, thus becoming the butterfly. You're an awesome writer, no doubt about it!

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Francis Daisy
01:37 Aug 11, 2021

Gip, Well, I feel like I might be kind of like a caterpillar writer also, just inching my way along towards eventually becoming a butterfly someday. I keep plucking along on my keyboard, composing most often in my head throughout the day, waiting until I can get to my chrome book and pray I can remember any of those flashes of ideas that I had during the day while weed whacking or weeding or mowing or folding laundry or washing dishes, or, or, or...ya know! :)A

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Eve Y
17:53 Aug 08, 2021

This was such a heartfelt story! I really enjoyed the style of writing you used. I think my favorite line was the last line : "Without change, there wouldn’t be any butterflies." Great job!

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Francis Daisy
01:49 Aug 09, 2021

Eve, Aw! Thank you! Butterflies always make me feel sentimental and this is the time of year when the monarchs start their dance before migrating off to New Mexico in October. Some day I will see the great migration, along with the balloon festival down there. It's on my bucket list. Keep fluttering and soaring, we all have wings. :)Amy

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Eve Y
01:56 Aug 09, 2021

That sounds like an incredible sight. I think I might add that to my bucket list too. :)

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Eve Y
01:56 Aug 09, 2021

That sounds like an incredible sight. I think I might add that to my bucket list too. :)

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Eve Y
01:56 Aug 09, 2021

That sounds like an incredible sight. I think I might add that to my bucket list too. :)

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Francis Daisy
02:20 Aug 09, 2021

We will have more to write about! :)

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Ruth Porritt
04:48 Aug 08, 2021

Hello Amy, This is a beautiful and heart breaking piece. (about a mother's pure love for her daughter) You have helped me to see life from the perspective of my mother. This story has helped me to understand a lot more things about her perspective. Thanks for writing this piece. The only editing (I would do) is to take away the first paragraph. (I find, in my own work, that my stories don't often begin until the second paragraph of my first draft of a short story.) Also, it is okay if you don't agree with me; always feel free to follow y...

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Francis Daisy
12:40 Aug 08, 2021

Ruth, As I only have a few minutes before I MUST put this computer down and get started on my day, I just wanted to sent a quick reply to say THANK YOU for your suggestion. Have you read, "Save the Cat Write a Novel" (it should be underlined, not quoted, but I cannot underline, darnit!) by Jessica Brody? She writes about plotters versus pantsers also. You reminded me of her just now. My daughter is also a writer and she is a plotter, an over plotter in my opinion as I am definitely a fly by the wind writer. I just let my fingers take me whe...

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Francis Daisy
12:43 Aug 08, 2021

You are right! I do like it better without that first paragraph! THANK YOU!

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Unknown User
21:50 Aug 18, 2021

<removed by user>

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Francis Daisy
03:34 Aug 19, 2021

Matthew, Thank you! Butterflies are inspirational! :)Amy

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