Science Fiction Funny

Study Log

Subject: Human Female, locally known as MITSU

6:45am –


Subject awakens. Looks at ALARM CLOCK.

Heart rate has rapidly increased. Subject is exhibiting signs of distress.


Deviation in pattern detected. 

Previous beginning time stamp was repeatedly noted to be forty-five minutes earlier at exactly 6:00am.

This deviation possible cause of sudden erratic behavior.


Gravitational Reading – Base Normality, in spite of accelerated heart rate

8:00am –

Subject has arrived at WORK with acquisition of COFFEE. 

Sits at desk. Inhales deeply.

Have made previous notes regarding said morning ritual. 

It appears to enhance the subject's overall daily performance.


Gravitational Reading – Slightly Elevated, due to increase in dopamine 

8:07am –

Local alpha inhabitant known as MANAGER has approached.

Subject’s body temperature rising. Perspiration levels rising.


Workload has increased. Subject realigning daily schedule.


Gravitational Reading – Below Baseline. 

Interaction with MANAGER has countered effects acquired from COFFEE RITUAL.

9:00am –

Noted secondary morning ritual.


9:32am –

Subject’s mobile communication device has been overly active.


Negative. Local numbers known as FAVORITES not attempting to make contact.

Numbers seem to correspond with Subject’s UTILITY PROVIDERS.

Data received in vocalized correspondence appears to suggest that PROVIDERS require immediate monetary transactions from Subject.


Subject has acquired and ingested ASPIRIN from their PURSE.

Gravitational Reading – Below Baseline, L1

Cortisol levels have elevated

10:01am –

Mobile communication from favorite life form known as HUSBAND.

MESSAGE RECEIVED: Hey baby, I love you

Noticeable rise in Dopamine levels

MESSAGE RECEIVED: I have to work a little overtime tonight, so I’ll need you to pick up my dry cleaning on the way home from work.

Noticeable rise in Cortisol levels

MESSAGE RECEIVED: Oh! And we need more milk!

Subject has not engaged in further communication at this time.

Gravitational Reading – Below Baseline, L2

Possible Malfunctions at this Level: Irrational thinking, agitated responses, locally referred to as a “Short Fuse”

12:15pm –

Subject has made another noticeable deviation from established patterns.

LUNCH has not been taken.


Adrenaline levels are unnaturally high.

Cortisol levels have not decreased.

Subject seems fixated on current tasks, much to the approval of MANAGER.

Workload has been increased (second occurrence)

Blood pressure levels are rising.


Gravitational Reading – Below Baseline, L3

Possible Malfunctions at this Level – headache, nausea, dizziness, fainting

1:23pm –

Mobile communication received from favorite life form known as BESTIE.

MESSAGE RECEIVED: Hey girl, what’s going on?

Noticeable rise in Dopamine levels

Subject has begun to engage in rapid response communication locally know as TEXTING.

MESSAGE RECEIVED: I hear you! That is so messed up!

Continued rise in Dopamine levels


Gravitational Reading – Base Normality

Hunger has manifested

2:45pm –

Subject has invoked the elusive 15 MINUTE BREAK.

Appears to be ingesting local delicacy known as CHOCOLATE. 


Nutrition insufficient. 

Temporary satisfaction will result in plummeting glucose levels (ie SUGAR CRASH) approximately thirty to forty minutes after.

Gravitational Reading: Base Normality 

3:30pm –

Energy has declined drastically.

Workload has not been alleviated to reach compatibility with current energy supply.

Cortisol levels increasing 

Subject is exhibiting inability to focus. Has vocalized the feeling of being IN A FOG.


This behavior has manifested as a semi reliable pattern.

Subject does not appear aware of the established predictability.

HYPOTHESIS: Subject will continue to engage in pattern behaviors until approached by an outside force.

Gravitational Reading: Below Baseline, L1

Cortisol levels have elevated

4:00pm –

Subject has engaged in further communication with alpha local, MANAGER.

MANAGER has expressed dissatisfaction in Subject’s performance for the day, citing errors accumulated within Subject’s work between the hours of one o’clock and three o’clock.


Subject is confused by allocation of additional workload by MANAGER paired with vocalized unhappiness at the quality of work produced as a result of increased workload.

QUOTE: “But you’re the one who assigned this to me…”

MANAGER has deflected any assumption of responsibility.

QUOTE: “We just need you to do better, Mitsu.”

Gravitational Reading: Below Baseline, L3

Possible Malfunctions at this Level – headache, nausea, dizziness, fainting

5:00pm – 

Subject has left WORK. En route to preferred location known as HOME.

Route appears blocked with others en route to similar destination.


Subject will require an inordinately lengthened amount of time to cross relatively short distance to reach HOME.

ETA – 6:00pm

Cortisol levels continue to rise

Gravitational Reading: Below Baseline, L4

If current condition is maintained for an extended period of time, Subject may begin to experience tightness in chest, accompanied with fluctuating emotions that will lead to a condition of feeling OVERWHELMED

6:30pm –

Subject arrives at HOME. 

Momentary increase in Dopamine

Subject remembers DRY CLEANING. 

Subject remembers MILK.



Subject leaves HOME in search of DRY CLEANING and MILK.

Gravitational Reading – Below Baseline, L4

Status maintained 

8:03pm –

Subject arrives at HOME (second occurrence)

Favorite life form known as HUSBAND comes to meet them at the entry portal.

QUOTE: “Babe, where have you been? Jaspar hasn’t been out since this morning, he peed on the couch!”


ENTRY: Life form known as JASPAR has previously been identified as a member of the Canidea faction of the animal kingdom, also called DOG. Breed, TERRIER. Malfunctions include an inability to enact bladder control for more than 8hrs, and an affinity for eating local data transfers referred to as NEWSPAPERS.

Cortisol levels have reached critical mass

Subject has begun to regulate breathing in an attempt to harness control of emotional state

HUSBAND is perplexed

QUOTE: “Mitsu? Are you alright?”

Subject has retreated to BEDROOM, sealing the door from potential entry.

Gravitational Reading: Below Baseline, L5


9:15pm –


HUSBAND has attempted to reestablish contact.

QUOTE: “Mitsu… please, open the door.”

Subject does not respond.

QUOTE: “Mitsu, I don’t know what happened, but I’m sorry. Just, let me in, and we can talk about it, ok?”

Subject exhales. 

Subject pulls self from fetal position and approaches the entry portal to BEDROOM.

Subject opens the access way, and appears to assault HUSBAND.


Error. Behavior has been identified as a BREAKDOWN. Accompanied by RANT.

HUSBAND seems undeterred by assault.

Subject has been pulled into EMBRACE.

QUOTE: “Shhh, it’s alright. I’m here.”

Cortisol levels have begun to decrease

Dopamine levels steadily rising

Heart rate has stabilized. Breathing slowly returning to normal.

Gravitational Reading – Extremely Elevated. Beyond Pull.


February 22, 2022 16:53

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.


Astra Henris
08:28 Mar 03, 2022

Wow! I love the style of writing, what a unique way to express gravity. I love anything sci-fi and this was such a cool interpretation.


15:22 Mar 05, 2022

thank you so much, Astra! :) Sci-fi isn't one of my usual genres, but this was just so fun! I'm glad you enjoyed it, I will be sure to go check out your work as well!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Suma Jayachandar
03:58 Feb 25, 2022

Hahaha...what a hoot! Right now I'm LEVITATING 😊


12:09 Feb 25, 2022

Hey Suma 😊 I’m glad you got a laugh from it! I was hoping people would see the humor! 😆thanks for reading!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
K. Antonio
03:25 Feb 25, 2022

What a cool way to interpret the prompt. The narrative and structure of this piece works so well with the genre. KUDOS for doing something so out of the box.


12:08 Feb 25, 2022

Hey friend 😊 I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I was having A DAY at work, and the story came to me 😆 thank you for taking the time to read it ❤️


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
J.C. Lovero
17:17 Mar 05, 2022

Hannah, Absolutely LOVED this. It was such a unique style and fit the genre well. I have a science background, so reading all of those mentions of cortisol and dopamine were absolutely hilarious to me. I work in management now for my day job and found this entry below so great (there were other really good ones too). I wonder how many people on my team do that with me lol! "Local alpha inhabitant known as MANAGER has approached. Subject’s body temperature rising. Perspiration levels rising. (NOTED CONGRUENCY WITH PREVIOUSLY RECORDED INTER...


18:45 Mar 05, 2022

I’m so glad you enjoyed this one 😆 I wanted it to be funny, but have a little bit of BITE! I based the manager section on a friend of mine, their manager is usually 99% coming to ask them to work late if they talk with them, so they always get nervous when the manager approached 😆


J.C. Lovero
19:23 Mar 05, 2022

'their manager is usually 99% coming to ask them to work late if they talk with them, so they always get nervous when the manager approached' Guilty - although my percentage is much less I hope!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Riel Rosehill
13:33 Mar 05, 2022

You chose a really interesting format for this - easy to read, but I felt I really had to pay attention to what you were actually saying here which worked well for me. Like the "gravitational reading" for how down Mitsu was feeling. And her day was stressful..! A very relatable story (unfortunately for all of us with local alpha MAGAGER haha)


15:23 Mar 05, 2022

aw, thank you so much Riel! yeah, I wanted the story to be "painfully funny" in that way, I think we have all had days like Mitsu. thank you for stopping to read!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Sharon Hancock
02:59 Feb 28, 2022

😂😂😂 omg this is awesome! Love it! Excellent writing love the style so funny and spot on!


15:23 Mar 05, 2022

I'm glad you enjyed it, Sharon! I wanted to give everyone a bit of a laugh!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Cindy Strube
20:33 Feb 24, 2022

Off-the-wall clever! I was holding my breath while I read it. Funny sci-fi is one of my favorite genres. Hope this wins the contest


12:02 Feb 25, 2022

Cindy, you are too kind! ❤️ I’m so glad you enjoyed my story! Thank you for stopping to read it 😊


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Okashi Kashi
16:33 Feb 24, 2022

When I first saw this prompt, I thought to myself ‘Isn’t gravity just a form of pressure? How can I express pressure…?’ You hit the nail on the head with this one.


11:57 Feb 25, 2022

Thank you! I was having a crazy day at work, and I decided to cope by writing this story 😆 Thank you for reading!


Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply