Coming to Their Senses

" What's the use!, Sarah thought. She would always did her best. She doesn't seemed to be noticed by her mother. It has always been their youngest brother Olivier who always did the right thing, the best produce whatever he put his hands on. Looking at their finished project, to her it was just about the same. "Why, what's wrong with me? she would sulk in one corner of the house one day, trying to find out the reason. It must have been a thousand times that she thought of leaving the family. "They wouldn't notice it anyway. They might be even happier without me." she thought.

She had this feelings of being neglected by family members. She felt alone. Trying to justify the actions of her parents towards her, she kept on praying that one day, everything would change. One evening after she was done with the dishes, ( it has always been her who did most of the house chores) , she went to her parent's bedroom. Out of curiosity , she wanted to " investigate and tried to find out why her parents had treated her that way. " Life is unfair." which would keep reverberating in her thoughts. She looked around the photographs on the wall, their family picture, and the wedding picture of her parents . Since she seemed to be lost in thoughts, she began to browse the family album, lying on the table. She started opening page after page. in one of the pictures, she noticed a picture of an Asian woman whom she noticed would almost had her features- brown hair, dark brown eyes and fair skinned. Rummaging through the pictures, she saw a picture of her father and a woman together. They must have been twenty years old when that picture was taken. Her imaginations run wild , the more she got confused and her curiosity was awakened . Her parents were married when they were already in their thirties.

Going around the room, looking everywhere, she noticed a small box beneath the bed. It must have been years there. Looking around as she was eavesdropping on some mysteries, she opened the box, and it contained some letters she doesn't seemed to understand. "Maybe it was Korean , Malaysian or Filipino, " so she thought.

Trying to remember what his father did before her parents got married, his father is a missionary. He was dedicated of sharing the word of God to natives. He had been to Korea, Philippines, Malaysia, Myanmar and China. Her dad is handsome she could tell, even other ladies in their neighborhood would joke around about his looks.

Still not wanting to believe in her " discoveries" she rejected the idea that she must be really " different " from the rest of the family members. She seemed to melt at the thought that she might have been adopted by her parents. She dismissed this thought from her mind.

"Woosh ! Clang! Bang! as she was awakened by the noise downstairs. Her father Steve and her mother Charlotte were arguing ang had a very heated argument. She heard her mother shouting " Now it is finally over between us. I have been keeping all these pain, humiliation and demeaning personhood for years ! I cannot stand this anymore. Go back to her! Go back there !"

She cannot stand to hear the words her mother was telling. Is is true? Is it really over ? Am I the reason for the separation ? What am I going to do? What will happen next? Where will my brother Olivier and I live ? To whom should I stay with ? How many more days should I wait for that dreaded decision ? Is is now ? Will I pack my younger brother's and my clothes or are we going to stay here ?

Could there be forgiveness between them ? Will they get back to their senses ? What if....., what if..... , so may what if's in her mind. Thinking of Olivier, she wished that he was still fast asleep in his room. He knew that his younger brother sleep deeply when he is very tired, so she hopes.

She heard her Dad crying . " Please forgive me. I was too young then. I was all alone and I needed someone. It was too hard to bear being apart from my family. Why not forget about it. It happened twenty seven years ago. Let's bury the past. "

" Don't you think I felt guilty all these years. I feel so shameless in front of Sarah almost everyday. It really felt different and awkward whenever I see her. I wanted to embrace her but I couldn't, I wanted to love her but I felt so guilty " her mother was telling her father.

So that was it. She really is different. She remembered that her classmates commented on her looks, why she doesn't seem to resemble the features of her father, mother and her brother. She would just laugh at it and brushed her shoulders. Now it became clearer.

Four years had passed, she is now working. Upon arrival at the office, she saw a delicately designed envelop on her table. It was from her father. He is now marrying her biological mother and the wedding would be in the Philippines. She felt sad for her mother who is now living by herself together with Olivier who has his own family too. She would be a grandmother soon. On her case, she seemed to be afraid to get married after what had happened to her family. She thought it was perfect ; except for some flaws - on the way she was treated and unappreciated ." But which family doesn't have anyway " so she thought.

Her father would marry the woman who bore her. They had met in Aklan as he was a missionary there. Their relationship blossomed but fate has it his father would go back to the States for his mission had ended. He had no knowledge that Sylvia was already pregnant when he left her.

The day came when she would finally see her biological mother. It was only through long distance calls she had the chance to talk to her. Boy is she nervous, worried and excited. "How will I approach her ? Is she kind or mean? Is she understanding or not ?

" Hello" as she was greeted by a woman about the same age as her mother way back in the US. " Maybe could get along with her, so she thought. " I am Sarah, the daughter of .... ", but even before she finished her sentence, the woman wearing a fashionable wedding dress embraced her tight and tears began to well up in her eyes. Without noticing, Sarah was already crying when her father arrived at the scene. The three embraced until someone announced that the wedding ceremony is about to start. Her father looks more handsome in his Barong Tagalog.

At home, exactly five years after the wedding, Sarah decided to stay with her real parents. She had decided to work in one of the big corporate office in Makati City. It was all knew to her. Nonetheless she had to adjust. She would wake up very early to avoid the traffic. She missed her friends back there in the States. They would hop clubs and go on travel anytime of the day once they got the chance. She would even sleep in her friend's house during those times when had to work overtime.

It was a sunny morning and she was wet with perspiration. Her younger brother Tomas , who is now on the eighth grade would be fanning himself with a fan made from anahaw leaves. Everyone enjoyed their lunch together. " Good afternoon , Sylvia" , a neighbor calling her mother from the outside. " Today is the birthday of my youngest son. We've prepared kare- kare, and adobo. It sounded new to her ears. It is her first time to be eating that. And she was wondering why Mrs. Encinas would be giving them those viands. That evening she asked her mother why and she told her that it is one of the traits the Filipinos are famous for, their hospitality. "I like it here", Sarah thought .

One afternoon , she met a young man and he was carrying with him loads of clothes. Her mother introduced her to Rolando, her younger brother. So aside from Tomas, she also met Rolando. Looking at them, she now knew where she got her looks. It was dinnertime when their Dad arrived from his business trip. He was holding back the tears when he saw all his children. " This is the most beautiful day in my life. He embraced Sylvia and looked lovingly on the people at the dining table.

Three weeks from now, it would be Christmas. Sarah heard the carols of the children even as early the the fourth week of November. At first she seemed to be annoyed but as times passed by , she began to enjoy it. She would make it a point to have loose coins on her purse she could give to those children singing Christmas carols. She admired the Christmas lanterns made from Capiz shells with its blinking lights. One thing she could not seemed to understand is the children calling her ninang , though she is not the godmother of these children. She found though that is a way of collecting money from kindhearted people as a sort of bonding friendships with these children. Filipinos are closely knit families and value relationships.

One early morning, she was awakened by the movements in their house. Seeing her brothers and mother dressed going to church, she seemed confused. " We practiced Simbang Gabi here in the Philippines. Come with us , After attending the mass , we will be eating Puto- bumbong and drink tea. She change her clothes and accompany them in church. Many people attended the mass. Outside the church, many people are queueing to buy puto- bumbong, some are buying bibingka.

As years passed by, she passed this tradition to her own children. She is now happily married to a businessman. Every Christmas, they would all attend the mass.