DISAPPOINTED IN THE PAST.

The Universe and its verities is so diverse that it leaves human beings to wallow in awe. Everything that happens seems to be a mystery that to unravel neccesitates a great deal of mental framework and cognitive power. Has it ever been to your sense of analysis that this diverse nature of the universe is the principal reason life so happen the way it does? Well! Worry not, if you find yourself being steered so fast by this.

Think about why someone would want to be remembered after his life on this earthly world. A great deal of sense can only hit your brow when you begin to attach meaning even to the minute denizens of the earth. Far away into the other world, wondering like a cricket whose only world has been dwindled by other creatures quite condescending than itself, two questions seem to be the order of it all. Am I remembered? Perhaps yes! Or maybe I am not remembered at all. Gosh! This really sucks, isn't it? It is obvious as humans we are bound to wonder and sometimes we wonder until despair become the sequence of the day. But we can remedy this if only we could repudiate what we don't comprehend.

However, all hope seem not to have been lost, perchance if I could voyage back to my past and rectify some few things. But then, yes! This is my future now, Oh God future why? Well aware that my key motive on earth was to boost a sturdy legacy, a legacy that would inspire, transform and awaken multitudes over multitudes. A legacy that would traverse generations upon generations. A legacy that would unify nations. But yet they didn't care, neither did they remember I existed. What a life? Oh no it's no longer life.

This new world is so odd and I am lonely and lowly, just like that broken-winged bird whose flight is strenuous. The panaroma so strange and everywhere foggy, where am I? Asks my self. Worry not! "You are in the future."answered my self.

"But why is my future so unpleasant and puzzling?" Another question pops.

"Because you didn't build a profound legacy." answered my very own self again.

A lot of sentimental and irrevocable questions emanate everytime I recollect the sad fact that no one remembers me.

Scanning back into that past world. A world that is lacking in every dimension. A world full with racial prejudice and injustice. A world terrorised by war and human trafficking. A world where economic imbalance is discerned as development. Yes! and yes! that world is lacking a whole lot.

Come to think of it, it would make more sense that with all these negative forces enshrouding the human existence, erecting that legacy shouldn't be so arduous. But here I am, no body cares about my exertions, no body seem to recall how I single-handedly brawled the aged-long existing inequality between men and women. Everyones' perspective of reality is so based on the forces of gross materialism that they hardly acknowledge someone elses' contribution.

Abasement and estrangement is like their daily snack. For not remembering me, they have impoverished themselves, vanity upon vanity. But how come some people left a remarkable legacy? The likes of Nelson Mandela of South Africa, Stephen Hawkins, even in his devastating condition, he revolutionised the world and inspired many. Talking about Albert Einstein?? Oh no! That is another topic for another day. Could it be that they were genius and maybe I'm not? But yes, I vividly remember, I put in all my best, all the years of spending sleepless nights, all the tension of divorce and shaky marriage just because I couldn't give my spouse enough attention. But yet no body remembers me. Maybe I didn't work so hard? But yes! I put in all my best.

My heart haemorrhage and my pulses are tensed by inextinguishable fire of disappointments and regrets. The pain is too deep, not even the greatest psychologists across the nine continents would ever fathom and foster remedy to it.

Every morn and every eve that passes, every dawn and every dusk that passes, yet no breeze of hope has ever blown with any. But will I continue to wallow aimlessly in pain for eternity? I guess I just have to accept and admit what reality had to impose on innocent me. If I had a second chance or a pardon, I would travel back to my past and change a lot about what people believe to be reality. Maybe I would be indirectly building that remarkable legacy.

I would never work to build a legacy anymore but I would rather work, put an end to all the misbeliefs and the misconceptions that has misled humanity for centuries. Could be in a religious point of view, could be in commerce and business, politics and governance, agriculture, could be in education, entertainment or even in literature.

I'm pretty sure, there were and there are people who built strong legacy with just a pen and a paper. They would shut themselves up in that lonely quiet room and with a cup of coffee on their table begin to fill down those papers. As simple as it sounds, they were able to emerge outstandingly and were able to secure all these numerous and astonishing achievements not because it was the sole reason they could write but perhaps it was their ardent desire and will to contribute to human civilization by their writ piece. This is the power of true literature. God Almighty, vouchsafed unto us different and unique skills. I'd find one to perfect if at all I'm given a second chance to travel back to my past.

"What could that be?" Asks my self, I think I loved soccer, oh yes maybe soccer will do for me. But how many people out there are into soccer? And what legacy have they been able to build? Well! This shouldn't discourage me because I'd rather try and fail than fail to try. The dichotomy that has been created in the mind by the nature of our educational system is one major obstacle that I would fight if perchance I'm able to correct my past. The body is ready to do anything but it is quiet obvious the biggest paradox is right at the center of the mind.

In a nutshell, keeping all other factors constant, it is better to call a spade a spade. In as much as I selfishly worked toward building a remarkable legacy that no body remembered me for, I remain heartbroken by how unpredictable human race could be.