Lynn of the Shallows

Submitted into Contest #83 in response to: Write a fantasy story about water gods or spirits.... view prompt

23 comments

Adventure Fantasy

The promise of a story. That’s what led me here. Where no water spirit would go. Willingly, anyway. I didn't know how many days had passed, it was impossible to tell in this inky darkness. The only light I had was the anglerfish light that I had received as a parting gift.


But then I saw. A faint blue light, peeking through the darkness. I’ve done it. I’ve found her. Lynn. 


Boosted with a rush of adrenaline, I swam towards that blue light. And then I saw a cave where the dream said she lived. I swam into it.


“Hello?”


And then I saw her. Sitting on the cave floor, with only small glowing fish surrounding her. If you could call them fish. They were not like any I had seen, but life was different down here, in the dark. But the way that they surrounded her, illuminated her face seemed almost...holy. But the most surprising thing about her was that she was young. 17. Yes, she was 17. That would explain the curve of her nose, her thick hair, and her pale skin. But 17 would not explain her eyes, which seemed to be full of sorrow. She seemed like she had seen things, that no one had ever seen. And lived to regret it...or so I thought.


“Hello, what brings you here? A young boy like you certainly has no place down here. In a place devoid of the light.” Her voice was like seaweed brushing against each other. Not that soft, but not stern either. A mix in between. 


“I collect stories, m’am.” I said.


“Hm, a story teller you say? I assume you came all the way down here to hear mine?And, drop the m’am. I am but a few years older than you. 17, in fact.”


“Yes.” I say, and I pray that I will be able to hear it. I hope that I didn’t come down here just to get turned away.


“But first, what is your name, I can’t keep calling you boy.” 


“It's Atlantis. Like the city.” I say.


“What an interesting name.”


“My mom wanted me to be great, like the city.”


“I admire your courage, Atlantis. It’s a long swim down here, after all. Very well, I will tell you my story. Let us start from the beginning, shall we?”


3 years ago~


Humans. They thought that Earth was replaceable. How stupid. They threw their trash everywhere and never picked it up. Then, the occasional merperson or sea creature would get tangled in it. But most importantly, they killed Isera. My best friend. I had plotted my revenge for years, and I would begin it today. 


I would start with this ship. I didn't care what it carried or where it was going. I raised my arms up and with one swift moment, a wave brought it down. The humans didn't even have a chance to scream. Before I had a chance to check whether my plan had worked, I swam back down to Sedna, my home city.


Sedna used to be beautiful. The plants were greens and blues, and they were always wonderful to look at, and the water was so clear, I was happy for many years, until the trash came. 


I swam my way around long clear plastic tubes, or what humans called “water bottles”, a red bag of what was called “Doritos” and a sliver tube of “Sprite” but that wasn’t all, and one of the worst trash items were then plastic bags. Of all size, shape, and color. They were everywhere, and it was impossible to see them until you came face first with them.


Worst of all was the oil. It made the water all murky and depressing. And instead of the water being a clear blue, it was a dull gray. I lived here, alone. Without my family. I missed them, but I promised myself I would go to visit them once my revenge was over. They had left a long time ago to find a new home, free of trash and oil. 


I had vouched to stay, because ships came by Sedna a lot and they would be useful for my revenge.


The next thing I planned to do for my revenge was to go on land. I had studied human dialogue for several years, and I think knew the basics of their society.  


And besides, I had her on my side. A human, that used to be a water spirit. Her human name was Abigail, and she had a safe house for spirits in a place called New Rochelle. I had wanted to go when I was younger, so I could stay in the human world for a while. My parents said no, they thought I was too young to experience the human world for the first time. That was when I thought positively of the human world.


I grabbed the spell book off my mother’s shelf. I flipped it open, and ancient spells greeted me. The one that I wanted was in the middle. There it was. It showed a spirit and then the next picture was of a human. It also informed me that the spell only lasted 7 days. 7 days was much more time that I actually needed, but the extra time would be helpful in case anything went wrong. 


Then I chanted the spell, the words sounded old and dry in my mouth.


I can’t breathe. Humans can’t breathe under the water like spirits can. I swam, up, up, where air was.


I surfaced. It was cold. I walked up onto shore. The sand felt warm between my toes.


I lifted my head up and saw a man. Maybe he would have directions to Abigail’s safe house. 


“Sir, do you know where Abigail’s is?” I asked, hesitant. Why was I asking this man? But, I had no choice, I didn’t know everything about this city, and this man had probably lived here all his life. 


“Abigail’s bakery? Sure I do. You’re almost there, little lady. Just go that way, and you’ll see a little pink building, you can’t miss it.”


“Thank you.”


Baking, huh? Abigail has never said anything about baking, but she had to earn this something called “money” somehow. 


I arrived at the pink building. It was a bustle of energy, people eating and drinking. I looked around the room, and I saw her, Abigail. She looked up and saw me.


“Lynn, honey! I missed you! Your parents finally let you visit?” She wrapped her arms around me. What was she doing? We never did this back home.


“Come with me. You must be tired. I'll set you up with a room right away.” 


A few minutes later she led me into a small room. There was a big rectangle with a blanket and another small rectangle. 


“What’s this?” I asked, curious. It was surprisingly soft. 


“That’s a bed. Now, tell me why you’re here? Have you come to visit?”


“Yes, I have. I wanted to see you.” I lied. What I wanted to say was: I’m sick of the humans throwing their trash into the ocean. I want to do something about it. You are a strong water spirit, right? Would you like to help? Maybe we could get other spirits, maybe nature ones. We could make the human race go extinct. Then they would never pollute our water again.


But I kept that all to myself. Abigail would never agree.


March 04, 2021 15:36

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23 comments

Kate Reynolds
00:03 Mar 13, 2021

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME A...

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Anna May
03:09 Mar 14, 2021

Done! :D

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Izzie Q.
23:53 Mar 04, 2021

Loved this Anna! I'm in LOVE with your writing style and you have such fluid ideas and descpiritions! Can't wait for more, friend :) Also, is it ok if i mention you in my bio? just to compliment your talent :)

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Anna May
12:20 Mar 05, 2021

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed! It’s totally fine with me if you mention me in your bio.

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Izzie Q.
15:58 Mar 05, 2021

great! i added you in it :)

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Anna May
19:16 Mar 05, 2021

Thank you! I appreciate it!

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Kate Reynolds
21:50 Mar 04, 2021

SDGLSDLKGDSLG THIS WAS SO GOOD. LIKE USUAL I did notice a grammar mistake though: "Humans don't can’t breathe under the water like spirits can." Shouldn't it be: "Humans can't breathe under the water (or even underwater, if you want to simplify it) like the spirits can." BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH WOW YOU ARE A GREAT WRITERRRRRR And I loved that cliffhanger, and your titles are always wonderful! Can't wait for the next partttt

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Anna May
12:17 Mar 05, 2021

Thank you! I’ll make sure to correct that mistake ASAP. I’ll try to write a part 2 next week. I don’t know. Depends on the prompts.

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Kate Reynolds
12:57 Mar 05, 2021

I really hope the prompts are goooddddd

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Anna May
13:38 Mar 05, 2021

Sameeee. Don’t they usually reveal the next week’s prompts later today?

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Kate Reynolds
13:46 Mar 05, 2021

Yep, they do!

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Anna May
13:47 Mar 05, 2021

Fingers crossed for good prompts later today!

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Anna May
15:44 Mar 04, 2021

This is my first original story. I kinda finished this in a rush, so I probably made a lot of little mistakes. Feel free to point them out. Hope you enjoy Lynn of the Shallows! Might write a sequel-depends on next weeks prompts. Criticism is always welcome! ~Anna May

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Jonothan St. Cyr
12:10 Mar 11, 2021

You have a nice writing style. But where is the "story"? As a trendy political comment it has a mild impact, but what is it's purpose? You have a boy following a dream, but apart from mentioning it as a means of direction, and a later comment that he "collects stories" we do not know why he has made the journey. The your second character offers to tell their story, but again you do not give us a "story". Instead you throw another political ideal into the pot, which, to condense your last paragraph says, "They have been killing us, let us...

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Anna May
21:13 Mar 11, 2021

What do you mean about a “political issue”? Ocean pollution has nothing to do with politics, it’s just an issue we need to solve. I want to bring awareness about the topic, not make it political.

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