Solace

Losing a patient is never easy. As Dr Robin entered the elevator, he sighed and pressed the button. He was headed home after a long gruelling day at work. He needed to gather his thoughts in the few seconds the elevator ride offered so that he could muster up a smile and meet his daughters, waiting in day-care for him. 

He jerked out of his thoughts as the elevator violently shook and came to a halt. The lights went off and he was left in utter darkness. As Robin calmed his racing heart, he gauged his situation and reassured himself - " just a few minutes. The power will be back on soon." Little did he know how wrong he was. He gently sat down on the elevator floor, stretching his tired legs, and rested his head on the wall. He could imagine his little girls panicking in the darkness and holding on to each other. He would be there soon to reassure them and take them home. 

Minutes passed and the elevator showed no sign of moving. Must be a major power shut down then. Though he wanted to climb out of the elevator and rush to his daughters, his heart enjoyed the solace the darkness brought. He knew they were safe in day-care. He could wait. As he sat breathing softly, an image drifted in front of his eyes. It was Richard, his 65-year-old patient who had died that day. He was smiling gently at him, longing to hold his hand. "It's okay Rob, I guess it's time." 

Richard had been his mentor when he had started off as an intern at St Louis hospital. From guide to colleague to friend, Richard had become a father figure to Robin over the years. This morning Richard was brought into the trauma bay after being hit by a speeding car. He had suffered multiple injuries and had lost a lot of blood. Robin was the trauma surgeon on call. He rushed to attend to Richard. With his team of surgeons, he worked relentlessly to treat his wound. He was angry, anxious and sad, all at the same time. 

After hours of surgery, Richard was shifted to the intensive care unit. As the blood dripped into his veins trying to pump some life into his wounded body, the monitors beeped keeping a count of the time he had left. Robin paced next to his fallen friend, checking and rechecking his vitals, charts and drugs. He couldn't lose Richard. 

He had barely recovered from losing the love of his life a year ago. Josette had been driving home when she had lost control of the car and driven off the bridge. He had been home waiting for her with the girls when the news of her death had arrived instead of her. Richard had helped him through the grieving period. Richard had been there for him when he had lost his parents 8 years ago. He had helped him work through his drug addiction and get clean. He had been the best man at his wedding 6 years ago. 

Lost in thought, Robin sat down by his bed and waited for his friend to recover consciousness. A few hours later, he heard a small cough and saw Richard trying to open his eyes. Robin was on his feet in a moment. He began checking his friend's vital parameters and started talking to him, encouraging him to wake up. Richard opened his eyes to see his teary-eyed friend staring at him. 

The dark clouds outside slowly floated in anticipation. It was time to pour down and ease their burden. The thunder reverberated outside as Robin looked at his friend. Something was amiss. He should have woken up hours ago. He looked toxic and was slowly burning up. Robin called in the nurse and as they started working to run a few more tests, Richard signalled him to come closer. The nurse hurried off with the blood samples they had drawn for the tests and Robin sat next to him. 

" I don't need a doctor now Rob. I need my friend. We both know I will die. I never expected to survive this long. But God gave me this opportunity to say goodbye to you." 

He raised a hand to quieten Robin's protests. 

" You have been a good student, a good colleague and above all a good friend. But I guess my time has come. I need you to be strong. You have two lovely daughters who need you. You are well respected and loved. Let people in. Make friends. Let them know the wonderful man I knew. " 

"Richard.."

" Let me finish. Will you? Life is full of..... opportunities.....to spread love......And.

... and I was glad ......I had you.......Take care....of yourself......for me......Will you?"

His breath came in gasps as he smiled gently at his friend. 

Robin held him close as Richard breathed his last. Richard had been a loner after losing his family in a plane crash 30 years ago. Robin was all he had - his friend and family. After finishing the required formalities, Robin had headed to the elevator to go home. His funeral arrangements had to be made. And he had to try and tell his 3-year-olds, that uncle Richard was no more. That their Sunday tea parties and carousel rides with uncle Richard would not happen. That he would no longer read to them or play his guitar for them. 

The elevator was cold and quiet, as though joining him in grieving for his friend. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he didn't have to fight them back in the solitude the elevator offered. He buried his face in his hands as he wept his heart out. Never had he thought, an elevator ride could be so comforting. The rain outside had finally stopped and the power was back up again. The elevator started with a gentle buzz. Robin stood up wiping the tears on his shirt sleeve. 

Moments later he stepped off the elevator and smiled as his daughters came rushing to him, eager for his warm embrace. At that moment he knew, he would be fine.