Thriller Kids

Luna was an ordinary 14-year-old girl. She went to school like everyone else and had normal feelings like everyone else. 

  Her birthday was just around the corner and she had been wanting to treat herself with a new laptop. She had knocked a glass of orange juice on her old one and she tried to get it fixed at, Ideal Tech, the closest computer shop to her house but received the bad news that there was no saving it.

  On the 24th of February, she went to Ideal Tech to buy a new one. She saw an ocean blue laptop with a remarkably shiny cover and on the front was a picture of a small green pear, covered with glitter. 

“I’ll take it!” she said excitedly.

“It’s one thousand dollars plus the mouse,” said Dan the Tech Support Specialist.

“Aw, I’m six dollars less,” said Luna sadly.

“Tell you what. I’ll knock off the six dollars.”

“Really?” asked Luna, her eyes shining with glee. “Thanks!”

  She ran back to her house, eager to test the new laptop. She felt the smooth and shiny cover. It even has a camera, thought Luna. She was just about to push the ‘on’ button when she heard a familiar song, her cheerful ringtone. She pulled out her phone from her bag and stared at it. Dan was calling her. 

“Hello?” she answered.

“Hey Luna! You have to come back to Ideal Tech.”

“What, why?”

“You’ll see when you get here- and bring the laptop!” and with that, he hung up the call.

Luna grumbled. It was a five-minute walk from her house to Ideal Tech and she just got home. Now, she had to spend another five minutes walking there. Sighing, she called a taxi.

  When she got to Ideal Tech, she put the laptop and the mouse on the table.

“What,” she said.

“I would like to introduce you to Melly,” said Dan promptly, waving a hand at a woman with long black hair.

“You dragged me back here to introduce her?!” asked Luna incredulously.

“Melly repaired your old laptop. Which means we will be taking the new one back.”

“What!” said Luna. She could remember feeling the smooth and shiny cover.

“Another customer has offered a thousand sixty for it. So if you want to offer a higher price, it’s yours.”

Luna couldn’t believe it. Dan gave her back her money and took back the beautiful. At least her laptop was fixed for free though. Her ugly grey laptop with some sticky stuff and dust on the cover. She stormed out of the shop.

  At night, Luna heated some spaghetti, put snuggled up on the couch, wearing her favourite checked pants and her pink pajama top that said, I have a Peanut!, showing a girl holding a peanut. She put her laptop on the coffee table in front of her and turned it on. As the screen flickered to life, Luna was so sure she saw a tiny smiley face in the middle of the screen. What is this, thought Luna. The smiley face grew bigger until it filled the whole screen and a voice said:

“Hello Luna”

She shrieked and jumped up, the spaghetti spilling on the couch. She grabbed a hammer and hit it hard on the cover. There was no damage to the laptop. Not even a scratch.

  That was it. She pushed the laptop into her bag and sped off to Ideal Tech, still in her PJs.

“What are you doing here?” asked Dan.

“There’s something wrong with my laptop,” said Luna, panting and clutching a stitch in her side.

“It’s still broken?” but I thought Melly fixed it?

“Please take a look,” she begged.

“All right. Put it on the counter.”

Luna threw the bag on the counter and Dan examined it carefully. He turned it on and Luna waited for the weird voice. It didn’t come. It turned on as usual.

“Are you sure there’s anything wrong with it?” asked Dan.

Maybe she imagined it. Sighing, she went home and went to bed. 


She woke up in the middle of the night. She felt thirsty and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. She poured some water into a glass and raised it to her lips when she saw a light coming from the living room. Abandoning her water, she went to the living room and to her horror, found that her laptop had turned on by itself. 

“Hello Luna,” said the laptop in an eerie voice.

  Luna gave a scream and ran into her bedroom and locked the door and the windows, her heart pounding. She buried herself under her blankets, her fists clutching the blankets.

  After an hour, she came out from underneath the blankets. Phew, she thought. She made a plan. She would slowly creep out of the house and go straight to- not Ideal Tech but the police station.

  Slowly, she went to the window and-


 The laptop was smashing away at the window with a hammer. But how, she wondered. The laptop had grown mechanical arms and legs and only a few pieces of the window were still there. Regaining consciousness, she ran out of the room and ran straight to the police station.


“Hahahaha… so you’re telling me that there is a talking laptop? Haha, that I’d like to see.” laughed Officer Bob heartily.

 “I’m serious.”

  Now she could see it was a mistake going to the police station. All the police officers eating strawberry jam doughnuts while laughing at her.

She decided to spend the night at the police station and the officers agreed only because she had bought them more jam doughnuts.

  The only one who believed Luna was Officer Kate. She beckoned for Luna to come closer and said,

“I believe you because I know about Melly. If I hadn’t known about her, then I wouldn’t have believed you. I heard she had applied for a job at Ideal Tech and I’m guessing she was the one who fixed your laptop. She might be responsible.”

 Of course! Why hadn’t she thought of this before. Melly had fixed the laptop. She definitely had something to do with this. Luna had dearly wanted to ask Officer Kate how she knew Melly but saved the question for later.

  “You need rest after all the trouble you had,” said Officer Kate. “I suggest you go into my office. I have a small couch there. You might be able to sleep on that.”

  Luna thanked her and headed to her office. It was small but cozy with a small fireplace that had fire crackling merrily among the twigs. She was exhausted and the warm fire soon lulled her to sleep.

  “Hello Luna”


  She was staring up at the laptop. A small knife was positioned inches away from her chest. She raised her leg and kicked the laptop as hard as she could on the screen. There wasn’t even a single crack on it. She screamed and ran out of Officer Kate’s office and into the main where everyone was staring at her, thinking she had lost her mind.

  “Now what in blazes are you doing?” he demanded.

“The laptop tried to kill me!” she shrieked.  

Officer Bob looked annoyed. Officer Kate looked smug. Every else looked like they might strangle her.

“I’ll deal with her,” said Officer Kate.

They went into a corner and Officer Kate said,

 “ We are going to find Melly. Now!”

They went to Melly’s house. Immediately after she had rung the doorbell, someone behind her whacked her on the head and she fell into a deep faint.


  “Hello Luna”

Luna woke up in a familiar place- Ideal Tech and she was tied up. There stood Melly, the laptop next to her. She took a good look at Luna and grinned.

Luna couldn’t think of anything else to say but,

“I hate you!”

“I see you’ve met Clue.”

“Clue? You mean your evil, wicked, demented laptop?”

“I believe the laptop is yours, Luna,” laughed Melly.

Then a thought struck her. Where was Officer Kate? 

“Where is Officer Kate?” she asked.

“I knew she was never a good police officer,” said Melley.

“She’s the best,” said Luna.

“Thank you for the compliment Luna,” said Officer Kate.

“Officer Kate! Help-” Luna began but stopped quickly. Officer Kate had a weird grin on her face. 

“Finish her off sister,” said Officer Kate to Melly.

Luna was horror-struct. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

“I trusted you,” she said.

Kate and Melly laughed until they cried, rolling onto their stomachs. Luna just sat there, helpless.


  “Whoo who woo whoo…” 

Tech Support Specialist and owner of Ideal Tech, Dan Weiner stepped into his shop, whistling.

“Ah shoot, I think I left my keys in here,”

Slurping his orange juice, he began looking under the desks and on shelves. He heard some laughing and he heard some screaming. It seemed to be coming from at the back of his shop. He slowly opened the back door just a little so that it only opened just a crack. He peeped through.

“Now, meet your end Luna!” said Melly and Kate in a sing-songy voice, Clue advancing menacingly.

“Stop right there!” he shouted and threw his juice on Clue who spluttered and wheezed and fell on top of Melly who fell on top of Kate. So both Melly and Kate got electrocuted.

“Well, that’s that then,” smiled Dan.

And they left the shop together.

February 24, 2021 13:36

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Niveeidha Palani
04:25 Mar 02, 2021

Hi Kirrtanaa, this was so barbaric and fitted the prompt nicely. Keep it up. 😘


01:19 Mar 04, 2021

Thanks, Niveeidha!😀


Niveeidha Palani
01:27 Mar 04, 2021

No problem. :)


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Gerald Daniels
09:01 Mar 04, 2021

Great story, full of intrigue and drama.


11:11 Mar 04, 2021

Thank you! :)


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Wow wow wow! This is an awesome story! I love the characters and the development, and the sequence! It wasn't too fast or too slow! Perfecto!


01:19 Mar 04, 2021

Thanks so much, it means a lot! 😊


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