Last Sunday Morning Drive

Wham! Something hit the back of Matt’s head and his left side, the pain hard and sharp. It reverberated across his skull, drowning out awareness of anything else and shooting stars across his vision. With a sudden jerk he fell back hard into the driver's door as inexplicably the large SUV he was driving stopped moving forward, but sideways, a roller coaster-shift of momentum. He felt the forceful impact abrupt against his broad back, pressing with immense force. Matt looked out of the windshield, and had the sensation of being in a train looking out the window. Instead of traffic coming at him, the scenery of the small town was moving past him. He did not understand the cause of this strange view, or the sudden change of direction. The shock of the pain in his head overwhelmed all his senses, until the sound of the screeching tires and crunching metal broke through the fog of hurt. A car accident! Panic and shame swirled in his mind, was it his fault? What had happened? What will happen to the girls?

He was on the road to being a good father, even if being a good husband didn't work out. This was the third time they had gone to the farmers market on his weekend with the girls. The trial separation had now lasted over a year and Matt had some routines that worked and this Sunday market was not too far from his house. Or what used to be his house. There were always tears for one reason or another, but he had both girls by himself, which he never would have done before. He felt proud about a successful morning, other than the incident with the too-friendly dog. 

“The dog was not going to hurt you Talia,” Matt said, speaking to the girls in the back seat as he drove them back to his ex-wife’s house.  The windshield wipers cleared the first few raindrops of the fall morning from his view. 

“Yes he was!” Said Talia, righteous in her fear of any animal larger than a cat.

“No, he was licking the sugar from the doughnut off your face!” Matt laughed. “You need to toughen up.”

“What do you think Skyler?” She had ignored him all day. Skyler, almost seven, was old enough to know that her father living in an apartment was not right, and she blamed him.

“It was scary!” Said Talia, adamant. 

“No, not for real. Your imagination got the best of you, that fluffy dog was not really going to hurt you.” 

“Then what is scary, for real?”

“A giant sheep with big horns like Lambie!” Matt roared loudly, referencing her favorite stuffed animal, though not knowing what sound a sheep made.

At his roar Talia burst into tears. 

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to-” Matt worried again that he was too rough for his sensitive daughter.  

“I dropped my milk!” Said Talia. 

Matt looked in the rearview mirror, and then had to adjust it up to his eye level. He was driving his soon to be ex-wife’s car, a big Lexus SUV as she had the appropriate car seats for the girls. He smiled, I guess Talia is not ready to move past a sippy cup. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw tears pouring down her red face, and the chocolate milk dripping over the white princess dress she chose to wear that morning.  

His cellphone rang in the cupholder. He looked away from the road to see the number, and his stomach fell hard, his boss looking for something he could not provide. He reached down to answer it, but his back twinged with the anxiety of the conversation. He did not want to spoil his morning or risk being on his phone in the car. He let it go to voicemail and tried to not think about the next morning's work day and what awaited him. He hated his job which made him travel so much but needed the money. The divorce lawyer fees were astronomical. 

“Daddy!” Said Talia.

“We're almost home honey! Can you wait-”

Her wail emphasized she could not. 

“Ok!” Matt looked out through the windshield at the empty streets on the traffic-free morning. Turning into a single parent he, by necessity, learned some tricks, like always having napkins in his pockets. He grabbed some from the side pocket of his cargo pants and twisted to hand them back to Talia, but the seat belt was too tight. He pulled on it, loosening it, and then with a last glance at the green light at the intersection ahead, turned sideways to hand napkins back to her. With his long torso, and by lifting himself up a bit, he was able to get his shoulder over the driver seat and almost to her. He twisted a little bit more, almost sideways, facing the passenger seat. 

“Talia, here you go-” Their eyes connected for a moment.

****

He never saw what hit him, his back was to the vehicle that T-boned the car. The force was massive, violent. Matt turned his attention to the direction he was now moving. Through the passenger side window he saw the roadside bushes covered in white flowers, coming fast. His arm was still stretched out in the back seat toward Talia and he forcibly pulled it into his chest. The screeching sound of the tires ended abruptly with a bang and a hard jerk. The car lifted up, the bushes he saw out of the passenger window were getting larger and closer as the car slowly and inexorably rolled onto its side. Suddenly understanding this new terror, Matt lifted his hands up to press against the roof, but pain shot through his left arm. He pulled it into his body, and used only his right, desperately pressing with all his strength.  

The car rolled onto its roof and continued, almost over again onto the drivers side, and then with a crunch, the windshield cracking but not breaking, the car rolled back onto the roof, finally slamming forward, the heavy engine pulled the front of the car down, sliding further into a small embankment until the car settled, diagonally balanced on the front of the roof and the hood. His daughter's screams cut through his own panic. He listened and heard Talia’s distinctive wail and then, yes- Skyler’s too! The car seats he spent so much time securing worked! 

At the last tilt forward, a pressure on his neck began. The fingers of his right hand reached up frantic, grasping his neck to stop the tightening squeeze. He was in the grip of something, what is it? He felt the thick fabric, tight against his neck. It was the seat belt! Somehow it had wrapped around his neck. He pressed the ceiling to release the pressure and then pushed the steering wheel. But his bulk, his own weight, was working against him in the small space. He could not change his angle, upside down and confined in the crushed car. Panic swirled and vibrated in his head, overcoming any rational thought. He drove his fingers into his neck, under the belt and pulled and pulled and got a little room, but no air. His mind raced, he looked out and saw the white flowers crushed under the hood of the car. I can not give up! He scraped again at his neck, the stretched fabric as hard as metal. The edges of his vision began fading, narrowing his sight to a smaller and smaller circle of focus. Only the the white flowers, then dimming- 

Suddenly he remembered the seat belt buckle. He squished his eyes closed and used his right hand to feel along the seat belt and find the seat buckle. His thumb felt the button, and he pressed it with no result. He moved his hand, gripped the entire buckle for better leverage and desperately pushed.  

Click. The pressure released! 

The air rushed back into his lungs as well as the blood flow to his brain. He fell forward the last few inches against the steering wheel. He blinked once, twice, gasped and then pulled the belt from his neck. He could not turn around to check on his girls, he was wedged into his seat by the crushed driver door. Their cries continued, letting him know they were still alive, however hurt they might be.

The driver-side door was not an escape. Smashed from the impact, the window was spider-webbed with cracks but still in place. He turned to the passenger-side door and it looked undamaged, at least from the inside. He twisted and crawled toward it, pulling on the passenger seat until he got his hands on the handle. It won’t open! He slammed his hand on the door again and again. He saw the door was locked. He popped the lock with his thumb, and then used the handle and it opened! 

He pushed hard and it opened a bit more. Struggling to get out without using his injured left arm, he wriggled out of the door onto the dirt and bushes. Free! 

He pulled the door open further and put his head back inside the car to see his girls. Upside down in their car seats, both were crying but no obvious injuries.  

“Girls it is OK! Daddy will get you out!” Said Matt, unsure how.

He stood up to look out around him. A huge Dodge Ram truck was a few feet away with a crumpled hood, the driver shouting, the words incomprehensible to Matt. Several people stood near, looking and pointing but no one was coming down to help. 

“I have to do this myself!” Said Matt. 

A variety of smells were in the air. Odors of burnt rubber, scorched metal, and freshly cut vegetation were pungent and strong, along with another smell, which, though familiar, Matt did not recognize. He pulled on the door handle of the back door but it did not open, he pulled and pulled and then looked closely at it. The door was crumbled and dented from the roll over.  

He dropped onto the ground and climbed into the open passenger door. He twisted around the seat and saw his daughter Skyler, the three point straps holding her tight in her car seat. Talia was still screaming, her face dark red.

“I am going to get you first, OK Skyler? Then you can help Talia.” Said Matt, focused on keeping his voice positive and level. 

“It’s going to be OK!” He leaned his shoulder into the seat to reach with his good right arm. The pain in his left side doubled, then tripled in intensity. He groaned and reached her buckle. It was pulled tight, so he could not easily unbuckle it. His fingers slipped once, and then again, and finally it opened and Skyler fell, her hands caught the passenger seat and her feet hit the ceiling hard.  

“Skyler- can you unhook Talia? Do you know how?”  

She nodded, and with quick agility moved over to her sister.

“I can't get the button?” Skyler shouted, fear in her voice. Talia stopped screaming with her sister in front of her, but continued to sob in the after effects of her cries.  

Skyler’s small fingers held the latch but nothing happened. “I can't do it!”

Matt attempted to move in closer but without the use of his left arm, he could not get through the two front seats. He reached with his right arm but it was too short.  

“Yes you can!” In the moment of waiting, watching Skyler struggle while he was stuck, a thought entered his mind. Gasoline. He smelled gasoline. No! Why isn’t anyone helping!  

“You can do it!” Shouted Matt, panic rising in him as time was now against them. The love of his daughters overwhelmed him, he could not lose them.

“Skyler, Skyler, I love you and you can do it! Push back on her chest a bit to give your hand some room!” Matt reached out, stretching helplessly, willing the buckle to un-latch.

 And then with a click it did, and Talia fell onto Skyler and they both fell onto the ceiling of the vehicle. Matt’s heart leapt in his chest and he slowly, achingly wormed backwards, his left arm and shoulder screamed in pain as he had to lean on it to get out.

 The girls followed him out and he stood up, relief and elation filling him. He picked up Talia in his right arm and they all scrambled away from the car. He flew up the embankment in quick strides, his whole body vibrating with excess energy. They reached the sidewalk and turned, just in time to see the fire begin, the wind picked up the flames and they quickly climbed up the car and spread to the ground beside it. The thick dark gray smoke rose high into the clear morning air, charring black the paint on the car. 

He did it! He rescued his girls! Matt felt tears pouring down his face with relief and joy. “I love you Daddy.” Said Skyler as she hugged him tight. A fireman was at his side, a big burly man with a dark fire jacket and red helmet. He slapped him on his back. 

“You are a hero! My god man, you saved those girls' lives! What a father you are!” 

The two firemen, both lean, one tall and one short, stared at the SUV, broken and upside down. The rippled silver paint reflected the sun in waves of glare. 

“This intersection is deadly- the fifth accident this year. They need to move that traffic light.” The tall firefighter pointed up to the traffic signal at the intersection. “In the morning light, it can't be seen.” 

“Any fatalities in the other accidents?” The other firefighter asked. 

“No, this is the first”. He looked up, a few thin clouds floated high up in the clear blue sky. 

“Hard to believe all this happened before noon.”

“Yes, it is a tragedy. How are the girls?”

“They are OK, someone in the crowd was able to stay with them. Eventually we got a hold of the mother, and she is with them now. Too bad about the father though.” 

“Oh my goodness.” The tall firefighter paused, as he adjusted his baseball cap, and rubbed his hand over his balding head. “It was traumatic asphyxiation. He would have made it you know, these big cars do well in accidents. Except for the seat belt. If only he could have unbuckled the seat belt.”