Tempus Fugit, Déjà Viewer, Part 4

Chapter 6 

If Thomas Edison was the 'Wizard of Menlo Park', then Nikola Tesla was the 'Magus of Manhattan' and 'Caesar of Colorado Springs'. His Tesla coil gave him a lasting 'mad scientist' reputation. Fittingly born during a dramatic lightning storm, his parents feared it might be a bad omen. Possibly suffering from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), his oddities included phobia of pearls and other round objects, dislike for the feel of hair, and fascination for the numbers 3, 6, & 9. The staid soft-spoken Serb seldom minced words and "was known amongst his friends and colleagues for his dry wit and outspokenness and even remarked to a friend after dining with famous poet Rudyard Kipling: 'What is the matter with inkspoiller Kipling? He actually dared to invite me to dine in an obscure hotel where I would be sure to get hair and cockroaches in the soup.'" He imagined the Smartphone, cloaking devices, and may have caused Siberia's still unsolved Tunguska Event with a death ray he was working on at the time. J.P. Morgan ruined him by withdrawing financial support. 

Travers reconnected with Clemens in Tesla's South Fifth Avenue laboratory in 1894. "The intrepid time tripper returns!" said Clemens. "Good to see you again, friend, after all these years. I reckon you've seen less of them than me or they've been a lot kinder on you." Travers replied, "You're right, Mr. Clemons; I just met you yesterday in my slipstream."

Clemons continued, "By the way, Nik here is going to Colorado Springs to find the Black Knight satellite 5 years from now, but it won't be confirmed until 1932." Tesla, bemused, just smiled enigmatically. "Oh, I was mistaken when I told you about the holodeck. All that Paramount Studio Time's Arrow razzmatazz. It really was San Francisco! Those naked island natives can make a man's mind jump like a Calaveras County frog!" 

"Sirs, I wanted to ask you both about the moon and Mars. In my day, man is rethinking interplanetary voyages, mainly for mining resources more plentiful out there than here on Earth, but also for space tourism. They just launched a Tesla electric roadster, likely with its left blinker going, on an elliptical track through the asteroid belt to eventual Mars orbit in a few years. Are there any insights you can offer?" Travers queried. 

Tesla leaned toward Clemons and they conferred privately for a minute, before Tesla flashed a more sanguine, animated grin this time. 

With unlit cigar in hand, Clemons stuck another pose, "It is biologist J. B. S. Haldane who will write, "I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine. Now my own suspicion is that the Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose." NASA scientists, reacting to seismometer readings, will imply the lunar interior is crystalline or hollow, when "the Moon rang like a bell for an hour." Mars, on the other hand, will offer plenty of surprises to erstwhile spacefarers." The topics were left at that. 

He later learned, "Apollo 13's S-IVB third stage was the first to be purposely crashed into the lunar surface, as an active seismic experiment which measured its impact with a seismometer left on the lunar surface by the crew of Apollo 12. (The S-IVBs from the previous four lunar missions were sent into solar orbit by ground control after use.)" 

Travers pressed his luck to its limits with one last question, "What about Antarctica?" 

Both countenances of Tesla and Clemons darkened markedly, becoming inscrutable. Neither seemed ready to provide a reply. Finally, Clemons summoned up his resolve to broach the subject, "A year after the 2nd great war, Admiral Byrd will lead a joint U.S./U.K. military expedition of some 4,000 men to Antarctica in 'Operation Highjump'. Its mission will be highly classified and cover stories will occlude its findings." 

"Nikola Tesla and Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) had quite the interesting friendship over the years. Twain “cured” Tesla of an illness through his writing: “I had hardly completed my course at the Real Gymnasium when I was prostrated with a dangerous illness or rather, a score of them, and my condition became so desperate that I was given up by physicians. During this period I was permitted to read constantly, obtaining books from the Public Library which had been neglected and entrusted to me for classification of the works and preparation of the catalogues. One day I was handed a few volumes of new literature unlike anything I had ever read before and so captivating as to make me utterly forget my hopeless state. They were the earlier works of Mark Twain and to them might have been due the miraculous recovery which followed. Twenty-five years later, when I met Mr. Clemens and we formed a friendship between us, I told him of the experience and was amazed to see that great man of laughter burst into tears.” And Tesla once cured Twain’s constipation by having him stand on a “healing machine”. And in later years, Clemens would regularly visit with Tesla, engaging in stunningly intelligent entertainment such as shooting an x-ray gun at his head for fun. There’s even rumors that Twain’s story A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court, an early sci-fi classic, based its main character around Tesla." 

Tim Travers had no idea how he could ever tie up all of these loose ends. At least he hadn't encountered any dinosaurs or extraterrestrials...yet. 

Chapter 7 

Travers checked his pockets. In them were his 4-leaf clover collection, a rabbit's foot, and both lucky coins, a 1996 brass 10 somethings piece, likely South Korean, and a silver Liberty quarter (1916-1930) so old and worn its date was no longer a memory. He felt ready to face both Velociraptor and Tyrannosaurus Rex. 

He booted his Ouija Board and set the WABAC Machine for the Dinosaur Quarry near Vernal UT, "40.441389, -109.301111", "BCE, 66000000" and in a moment he was there, but not alone. A rustling could be heard in the lush giant foliage in front of him. Steamy fronds parted and he beheld...networking nerd Nedry and mathematician Dr. Malcolm from Jurassic Park, or more precisely, actors Wayne Knight and Jeff Goldblum. What the blazes were those morons doing here, filming another Jeep ad? Never mind, he might as well join them, cuz mathematically 3 stooges were 50% better than 2. Besides, he was pretty sure he could outrun them both, thus perhaps tripling his survival odds.

Knight appeared apprehensive, while Goldblum seemed relieved to have fresh company. Travers had to wonder how much of Knight's psychosis roles, like Nedry and Newman on Seinfeld were natural after all.

Sure enough, they were stalking dino DNA to make their fortunes from nefarious modern buyers. Travers didn't believe he could square that cycle or bear its consequences. A thundering derailed that train of thought, as a mixed herd of Apatosaurus, Camarasaurus, Diplodocus, and Stegosaurus lumbered ahead of at least 3, maybe more, meat-hunting Allosaurus. The vegisaurs scrambled as best they could, trumpeting in fear. One flushed its bowels onto Knight, burying him ala Biff Tannen, before they got back to the future. Travers had seen enough and reached for the panic button, but he hit it at an angle, both skewed sideways and spiraling through time.

When he stopped spinning, he was alone, but the vegetation seemed normal. He was in a ridge-lined verdant valley that looked oddly familiar. Checking his gauges, he saw that he had reoriented less than 20 miles WSW from his previous vector and very nearly returned to his own time. He shuddered in relief, maybe a bit too soon. 

Glowing orbs, about a dozen of them, cleared the ridgetop and zigzagged through the valley, then circled his position. He could have sworn he saw Wookies at the controls of some of them. They began levitating ranch cattle, then dropping them back to the ground. A pair of huge dire wolves, fought over the carcasses, until they were chased off by what appeared to be saber-toothed cats. Travers quickly reached his limit and made sure he pressed the 'Abort Mission' button properly this time. It was never so good to leave Skinwalker Ranch and be home again. 

The Grinch sought and received mental health counseling to help treat his alcoholism and set him on the road to recovery. Freddie Willard Booth, a 4th generation descendant of the actor/assassin, was an air traffic controller fired by President Ronald Reagan in 1981, before he spiraled into indigence and depravity. 

Daph and Rosa were wed in a lovely shoreline beach Wiccan ceremony, officiated by a gay male witch. They asked Tim to be their best man. 

Against all odds in Vegas and on Capitol Hill, the Trump administration became best known for reopening the JFK assassination investigation and prosecuting living perpetrators, most notably President George H.W. Bush.

Its sudden renunciation of war with North Korea and Iran devastated relations with Israel and ended the NRA. It also shut down Hollywood's smut factories, and called for bipartisan legislation to finish spam once and for all. 

Reversing a Khazarian trend from a century after Muhammad, President Trump's whole extended family converted en masse to Buddhism, sold all of their real estate holdings, and gave the money to worthy charities. Ivanka and Tiffany shaved their heads and donned stylish gray Chinese Buddhist nun's garb. 

Travers settled back into his Barcalounger recliner for combo front row and back stage access, as Richie Havens began the show at 5pm, "Hello!...groovy, groovy, groovy...How are you?...How are you in the back?...Can you hear?...groovy, groovy...okay, um, Wow! huh...It's so beautiful...to see so many people...together...I mean it might be...a tiny bit uncomfortable...but...so can sleeping...be...a tiny bit uncomfortable...Right?". He then tuned his acoustic guitar, before strumming the first chords of The Minstrel from Gault, joined by his bandmates, Daniel Ben Zebulon - percussion, conga, and Paul "Deano" Williams - acoustic guitar and backing vocals. With traffic jam delays and multiple encore requests, their intended 4 tunes became an 11 song set, ending with the now famous medley Freedom/Motherless Child. 

Echoes of Hey Joe by Jimi Hendrix's Gypsy Sun & Rainbows Band still rang in his ears as Travers did an extended yoga stretching routine after binging at a 3-day dry run of Woodstock and left its cleanup to others. 

The End