Christmas Fiction Funny

Sarah had dreamed her entire life of taking a cruise. At age sixty, she could scarcely believe she was finally stepping onto the second largest cruise ship in the world, the Sea Witch, where she would be staying in a deluxe suite with her extended family – son, daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren. They had decided to forgo their traditional Christmas celebration and instead enjoy an ocean cruise, a “Merry Cruisemas”. Sarah thought that festive play on words and the idea behind it was ingenious. Instead of exchanging useless Christmas gifts of things they really didn’t need or want, they had decided to spend quality time as a family on a dream vacation, a once in a lifetime opportunity.

They had booked their passage on a large ocean going liner with all the comforts of home. Their suite had two bedrooms and two bathrooms. She and her son were staying in the smaller of the two bedrooms, in bunk beds tucked up high on each wall. Their bathroom was tiny but adequate, a closet really with barely enough room for a shower, sink, and toilet. Nonetheless, it was spotlessly clean and equipped with fancy ocean scented travel size toiletries in bright blue plastic bottles, making her feel like a VIP living in the lap of luxury. Her daughter and family had the larger bedroom and bathroom for their family of four.

Together, the entire extended family shared a fairly large living room and balcony that wrapped around their whole suite and was equipped with comfy deck chairs and chaise lounges, perfect for relaxing and viewing the beautiful azure blue Caribbean sea. They could also eat as a family on their own private balcony, forgoing crowded restaurants if the kids were fussy or if they simply wanted to escape the throngs of tourists.

Sarah’s favorite time of day was sunset when the sun’s shimmering golden rays sparkled on the water like diamonds. Following the sunset, nighttime stars then dotted the sky, so big and bright they looked close enough to touch. It was an unparalleled view they would never see at home in Chicagoland, even though Lake Michigan had a somewhat quaint charm. Its view, however, could not be watched by the ocean’s majestic presence.

To Sarah’s delighted surprise, the water seemed eerily calm. The ship was so large that she didn’t notice the slightest turbulence. At first, she had been afraid that she would get sea sick, but so far, that didn’t seem to be the case. Her doctor had prescribed her sea sickness motion patches in the event that she would become nauseous. The patches were to be worn behind her ears, but so far, she had fortunately not needed them.

Their balcony also overlooked an amphitheater where a Cirque du Soleil style water show was held. The nightly extravaganza featured pulsating high energy music, laser lights, high divers gracefully flipping and falling from a platform many stories in the air into a relatively small pool, tightrope walkers, trapeze artists, dancers, singers, and more. The audience, who was seated in the amphitheater in front of the pool, sang, clapped, and danced in their seats, caught up in all the excitement. Viewing the show from their private balcony above, Sarah and family saw even more than the average crowd. She almost felt like they had an exclusive, backstage pass. Besides the nightly show, they also had a birds eye view of a rock climbing wall and a revolving carousel far down below in the courtyard.

The ship, which was nineteen stories tall, was like a floating Las Vegas resort. It had everything – all easily accessible, especially to first class passengers. It had been slightly more expensive to stay in the luxury suite and get first rate service, but Sarah was convinced it was worth it. With the cost of the cruise being split between all of the grownups, it really wasn’t that much more expensive than staying in an ordinary cabin. As a divorced senior citizen, she didn’t mind sleeping in a small single bed in the same room as her son, who had never been married. They didn’t spend much time sleeping anyways. There was too much to do. This was her first time on a ship and probably her last time, at least for a while. Sarah intended to get her money’s worth and enjoy every moment of the ocean voyage.

Even sleeping could be done outside in luxury under the bright sun or a shaded beach umbrella, in a padded lounge chair overlooking the sparkling ocean or reclining in a warm water pool, the gentle ocean breezes wafting over her. As first class passengers, they could use a pool on a deck reserved for first class passengers only, no children allowed. Of course, when Sarah was with the grandkids she didn’t visit the grownup pool, instead they went to a more family friendly pool. Sometimes at night, however, long after the kids had gone to bed, she took advantage of the relaxed, quiet, grown up atmosphere in the private pool.

There was even a swim up Tiki bar under a thatched roof, featuring fruity tropical drinks in fuzzy coconut shell cups. The whole vibe was sheer bliss in a spot that was uncrowded, fancy, and glamorous. With their high end resort package, it was like staying at an upscale, all inclusive resort. They didn’t even need to bring their wallets. The laminated cards they all wore around their necks allowed them free access to bars, restaurants, and shows. For relaxation and ease, their cruise package couldn’t be beat.

The best part was that they had a crew member who was dedicated to their every waking need and whim. That person was called a “genie”. Like Aladdin, every wish of theirs was his to command. From Starbucks coffee brought up to their suite each morning, first row tickets to any and all of the ship’s many shows, skip the line access on shore excursions, reservations in swanky restaurants, toys and games for the kids brought to their suite, not to mention a daycare on the ship, it was the genie’s job to facilitate everything. The only thing they needed to do was to tip him handsomely at the end of the cruise.

Their genie’s name was Dev. He was an East Indian man with twinkling eyes and a friendly manner. Dev especially liked Sarah’s three-year-old granddaughter Lucy. Lucy was a red-headed bundle of energy with a mischievous manner. Her favorite game was playing hide and seek. She loved to hide behind the large floor to ceiling curtains that separated the living room window from the ship’s balcony. She never tired of playing this game with her grandma and her uncle, both of whom she didn’t get to see everyday. In Sarah’s opinion, the best part of the trip was the time she got to spend with her grandchildren who lived several hours away.

The morning had barely begun and Lucy was already begging to play hide and seek with her grandma. Sarah quickly agreed to this plan and dutifully hid behind the curtains. It was fun to hide in the exact same place every time and see the delight on Lucy’s face when she found her grandma at last, after circling the whole room and looking behind all of the furniture and in the closet. As with most toddlers, repetition was key. Lucy never seemed to tire of playing the same game over and over. Lucy liked being both the hider and the seeker.

As Sarah hid behind the curtain, she heard a loud knock at the door. Busting out from behind the curtains, she yelled to Lucy, “Here I am! I need to come out of my hiding place now. Meema has to answer the door!”

Meema was Lucy’s way of saying Grandma which she couldn’t quite pronounce. Sarah adored being Meema. Every time she heard Lucy call her Meema, her heart melted a little more. She also liked saying the word herself. She was “Meema”, and there was nothing better!

“Good morning,” Dev said cheerfully, bearing a tray of their usual Starbucks drinks. Sarah always drank a venti, nonfat latte while her son liked oatmilk Chai. “How is Miss Lucy today?”

“I good,” Lucy replied. “It’s my turn to hide. Meema’s gonna find me.”

“Ok, you hide,” Sarah replied. She went over by the window and closed her eyes and began to count in loud exaggeration. As she was counting, she opened her eyes slightly, noticing the maid arriving, pushing a large cart filled with dirty sheets and towels.

“Meema, no peeking,” Lucy admonished.

“Ok,” she closed her eyes once again and resumed counting. As she was counting, Dev cleared his throat.

“Mrs. Cafferty?”

“Yes?”

“What’s on the itinerary for today? What would your family like to do? Do you need me to plan an excursion for you? We dock in a little less than an hour and there is a boat shuttle to a private beach called Coco Cay. It’s called ‘A perfect day at Coco Cay’”, he said enthusiastically. “White sands, warm water, sunshine. A day filled with fun and sun.”

“Hmmm. That sounds nice,” Sarah said dreamily. “Yes, please book that for us. The perfect day at Coco Cay. I’ll tell the others.”

“Will do. It will be my pleasure to arrange that for you.”

“Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome. And now, where is Miss Lucy?” Dev asked. Sarah couldn’t tell if he was asking mockingly or if he was genuinely curious.

“She always hides in the same spot,” Sarah said lightly. “Look behind the curtains,” she said, pulling the curtain aside. To her surprise, Lucy was not there. “Hmmm. Where can she be?” she asked loudly, smiling all the while and continuing to search.

“Is she hiding behind the couch?” Dev asked. He walked over to the couch and looked behind it. “No!” he said emphatically.

“Is she hiding under the table?” Sarah next asked, crouching down to inspect under the table.

“No,” she said in a sad tone of voice. “She’s not there either. Where can she be?” She continued looking. To her surprise, she couldn’t find Lucy anywhere. She wasn’t in any of her customary hiding spots.

“Maybe she went back in the bedroom to wake up her mother, father and the baby,” Sarah said. “The baby was up in the middle of the night and they’re trying to catch up on their sleep.”

“Understandable,” Dev said lightly.

Sarah knocked gently on the bedroom door. “Jennifer?”, she called to her daughter. “Is Lucy in there with you?”

“No,” Jennifer said in confusion. “I thought she was with you,”

“She was,” Sarah replied. “We’re playing hide and seek. She’s hiding and I can’t find her anywhere.”

“I’m sure she’s around here somewhere,” Jennifer said helpfully. “Let me know when you find her.”

Sarah next entered the master bathroom off her daughter’s room. Lucy wasn’t there either. Nor was she in the other bathroom or bedroom. In fact, she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Now Sarah was getting worried. She opened the closet doors in her bedroom and in the living room. Lucy was not in either place. “Maybe she stepped out on the balcony?” Dev suggested.

“I hope not,” Sarah said worriedly. “I know there’s a high railing and she can’t reach the edge. Still, I worry. It’s a long way down.” It went without saying that once over the railing, there was nothing but a drop into the vast, endless ocean.

She and Dev walked the length of the balcony which wrapped around the suite in a curving pattern. Lucy was not there either. Sarah could feel her heart beating wildly and her palms sweating. She was almost light headed in fear. Where could Lucy be? Had she fallen overboard? Had she left the suite and was out wandering the ship unsupervised, surrounded by strangers and dangerous areas like deep swimming pools? By this time, Sarah’s daughter and son-in-law had hurriedly gotten dressed and were joining in the search.

“You still can’t find her?” Jennifer asked frantically.

“No,” Sarah swallowed a lump in her throat. She felt tears burning her eyes. “I don’t know how this happened. We were just playing hide and seek, and suddenly she’s gone. I can’t find her. I’ve looked everywhere.”

“Maybe we should call security, the ship’s captain or something,” her son-in-law suggested worriedly. “We need to sound some kind of alarm.”

“Yeah,” Jennifer agreed. “The sooner the better. Who knows what can happen!” Jennifer looked like she was on the verge of crying.

Sarah felt horribly guilty. Had she been too preoccupied talking to Dev about the trip to Coco Cay, and had Lucy gotten bored and snuck away? Where could she be?

Dev pulled out his cell phone, hit a button and spoke rapidly.

“We have a missing child. 3 years old, a girl with red hair. Her name is Lucy. She was last seen in her corner suite on the 17th floor with her family. We can’t find her anywhere. We didn’t see her go out the door, but it’s possible she is wandering the ship.” He paused for a moment, listening to the voice on the other end.

“No, we don’t think she went overboard. I think we would have heard or noticed. I was here too with the family", he continued.

“Went overboard?” Jennifer squealed, looking like she was about to faint.

“Now don’t fear the worst,” her husband said gently, patting his wife’s arm. “We'll find her.” As he said this, there was a loud knock on the door. Everyone looked up.

“Somebody answer the door,” Sarah said impatiently. “Maybe somebody has news.”

Her son-in-law swung open the door. It was the maid again with the cart.

“Not now,” Dev said. For the very first time since the cruise began, Sarah noticed that his voice was strained. He wasn’t his usual perky self. His genie composure was slipping. “Now is not a good time.”

“I have something you need,” the maid’s voice was insistent.

“There’s nothing we need,” Jennifer said in righteous indignation. “My daughter’s missing!” she shrieked.

“But that’s what I’m trying to tell you, ma'am,” the maid said. “She’s right here!”

As she said that, a bright red head popped up from inside the large laundry cart.

“Lucy!” Everyone yelled.

“Surprise!” Lucy said brightly. “Meema, you didn’t find me! I hided good!”

“You sure did,” Sarah said in relief. “Whatever gave you the idea to hide in the laundry cart? And how were you able to climb in there?”

“It’s a big stroller!” Lucy explained. “It’s got wheels! I wanted to go for a ride!”

“Don’t ever do that again!” Her mother scolded. “You worried us. We couldn’t find you!”

Lucy’s lip trembled at her mother’s stern voice.

“It’s ok, princess,” her father said gently. “We just all love you so much. We don’t want to lose you. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Yeah. Maybe just hide in your usual really good spot, behind the curtains!” Sarah said jovially, feeling once again light headed, but this time it was from euphoria not fear. Lucy had been found and the whole magical day stretched out endlessly before them, full of possibilities.

She suddenly had a thought. Everyone needed a little distraction and a reset on the day.

“Hey, does anyone want to spend a perfect day on Coco Cay?”


Posted May 03, 2025
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12 likes 7 comments

Mary Bendickson
23:55 May 03, 2025

Worst feeling when you can't find a child. One of my granddaughters at age three hid in a clothing rack once while shopping and it took forever (all of two minutes) to find her.

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Kim Olson
00:37 May 04, 2025

Longest two minutes of your life undoubtedly.

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Mary Bendickson
00:53 May 04, 2025

Undoubtedly!

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Helen A Howard
20:35 May 03, 2025

You had me worried there! Everything about the ship and the trip seemed to be going so well, and then…
Nice buildup with enough tension to give the story an edge and the feeling that beneath the surface there was a world outside their control. Namely, the sea. Relieved things ended well. Kids, eh!!!
I think I need a genie to look after me.
An enjoyable read.

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Kim Olson
21:19 May 03, 2025

Thank you!

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