An ASSESSMENT of TIME

AN ASSESSMENT OF TIME

“We are running out of time Jed.’

“No Marcia, we are not. The Bank does not open until ten am. The Manager does not arrive until ten fifteen. By then we are fully set up waiting for him to open the main safe so we can make our withdrawal. It has to be the main safe. The smaller one the head teller opens does not have enough cash. I explained all of this in detail before we got here.”

“I know. What happens if he is late? We could run out of time.”

“What is this fixation you have with time? Do you realise just how often you use the word? No, you don’t do you. Time after time, time you got up, time is on the wing, time we left, time to consider are all things you have said this morning. Then there is the timetable you referred to. Do you know what a timetable is? It is a work of fiction Marcia,”

“Absolute rubbish. A timetable tells you what time the train will arrive. You said the Manager travels by train. How else would he know what time to leave home to catch the train? Answer me that.”

“No, Marcia my love, a so called timetable tells you what time the train should have arrived. Very rarely do the two things happen, the train arriving and the designated time falling into alignment. .One thing you can guarantee is it will not be before the time allocated.”

“Why are we arguing about a train timetable, you don’t catch the train?”

“Because they are never on time. The Manager has the luxury of being in charge, so if he is late it does not matter to him, but it certainly does to us. You are the one who used a timetable to try to prove your point. What is time actually? Can you explain the concept?”

“It is not just a concept, it is just there. It always has been. Imagine how many songs would not have been written if time wasn’t a part of life. How would they have written Three times a Lady? What would you use if you couldn’t say things like, about time, all the time, at the same time, time after time, behind the times, have no time for, or pass the time of day?”

“Where is it, this time thing? I don’t see it, do you? Can you see time, can you feel time?”

“You don’t have to see time for it to exist. You can take your time for instance without actually seeing the time you take. You don’t feel time, however you may feel it is time for something. Time for a coffee perhaps?”

“Take my time?  Where would I take it? If I feel I just want a coffee I have one. Is this time specific to me only?”

“Take means you can use it, you don’t take it anywhere, and no, you don’t own time and coffee is not time specific, I will grant you that. Time is the same for everybody.”

“So, according to you everybody has time?”

“Yes. Now stop it. We have wasted enough time on your pathetic attempt at being pedantic.”

“You just said everybody has time, so why don’t we have it? Why are we running out of it? Everyone seems to mention time but the majority of people I talk to claim they don’t actually have it or at the very least, enough of it. Except for the walrus, as far as he is concerned the time has come.”

“The walrus? Oh for God’s sake stop it Jed. All the walrus worried about, once the time had come, was shoes and ships and ceiling wax cabbages and Kings and why the sea is boiling hot and weather pigs have wings. Which they certainly do not, although time is said to be on the wing sometimes. I amaze myself with what I remember. Anyway I don’t have time to answer your ridiculous questions.”

“There you go again. One minute we all have time, then in your next breath you don’t have it. Which is it?”

“Read the dictionary Jed. Look up the meaning of time.”

“I looked at my dictionary last week because you keep using the word. TIME is defined there as the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present and future, as a whole. Quite frankly I would have got more sense asking the walrus. Indefinite tells you it may or may not actually be there and yet specifics are attributed to it. Minutes, seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, years etc etc. How can anyone subscribe to an indefinite thing and run their life according to it? It is easier to understand Quarks.”

“You never cease to amaze me Jed, you understand Quantum Physics yet the notion of time existing escapes you. What are Quarks anyway?”

“I do not claim to understand Quantum Physics but I did read Finnigan’s Wake, so I know a Quark is a measure of alcoholic beverage served to Muster somebody in threes in that book. Now apparently it has something to do with protons. Or is it neutrons? It is one or the other. I purely offer the notion it may be easier to accept Quarks existence because of the James Joyce novel, than to accept the existence of time. Can we get back to what we were doing before you got started on justifying your time fixation?”

“Jed forget the Quarks, we have twenty seven customers as hostages and we are still waiting for the Bank Manager to arrive to open the safe. What happens if the police arrive before the Manager? We will not be running out of time, we will be doing time for doing the crime.”

“The crime is my relying on a timetable. I told you timetables are works of fiction, no one actually believes they are true. Marcia, I think a quick re-evaluation of the plan is called for.”

“Well hurry Jed.”

“Yes, it appears we are running out of time.”