236 comments

Kids Mystery

Authors Note: This is one of the presents I am giving to my almost 5-year-old brother. His birthday is on September 14th. Just a heads up, this story is not true in case you didn’t already know. So happy birthday Joe!!!!


“Yes, I understand he is talented but can he attend this school?”

“Ms. Roberts I can assure you that my son is a very talented young boy. He has never received a grade lower than an ‘A’ in his life! He is also a talented athlete and musician. He does it all!” Mrs. Tate said convincingly.

Joseph Tate is a talented young boy. He was thirteen years old and already a better basketball player than LeBron James. His mother was trying to get him into the best school in the world. But as you could imagine it was really hard to get into.

Joe had applied last year but they denied his application. He had worked harder and harder each month trying to get in. He could play the piano like Mozart, and he knew every country, state, and provinces in the world. But yet there were students attending Bridgewater school considered as more intelligent.

The principal of the school (Ms. Roberts) had put Joe on the waiting list until further notice. She told us a lot of people couldn’t take the pressure of the school and dropped out. That was good news for Joe because he was first on the waiting list. 

Today they were visiting the school to make sure it was the right fit. They had always assumed it would be perfect and never went to visit. 

“So this is our science room. I was told Joe was very good at this subject.” She turned her head to look at Joe.

“Um...Yeah. I love all subjects.” He looked down at his shoes and kept walking.

“What he means is, he’s good at all the subjects.” Mrs. Tate said with a laugh. Joe was a smart kid but he never intended to go to a kind of school like this. He wanted to be a normal kid.


***


“Joe!!!! Guess what, guess what, guess what?!” Mrs. Tate yelled from upstairs.

“What?” Joe asked softly.

“Some kid got kicked off the school list because he lied on his application. I guess his mom just really wanted him to go there. I just don’t get what kind of parents would do that!”

“Yeah, I wonder.” He muttered.

“Aren’t you excited? Oh, we need to get some proper school clothes for you. You need to look like a nerd!!” She said excitedly. 

Joe nodded and walked upstairs.

***


It was the first day of school and Mrs. Tate had picked out the perfect outfit for Joe to wear. Joe put on his outfit fast, even though he didn’t want to go he never liked to be late.

They got in the car and started to drive there. Joe’s bag had to be enormous. The school sent out an email saying all the supplies you would be needing. It was much more than his former school had asked for.

Once they got there Joe got out slowly and said goodbye to his mom. The school was located in Ulm, Germany. But since Joe and his family lived in California they attended the same school but in a different place. They decided to make more of the Bridgewater schools because they realized not everyone could fly to Germany every day.  

Joe assumed the school would be much easier than everyone made it seem, even if it was the best school in the world. 

Once he walked into the school he saw what he least expected. It looked like people were flying. But when he looked closer he saw they were standing on drones. A girl jumped off her drone and walked over to him.

“Hey, are you new here?”

Joe replied with a simple yes and continued to look around. “You're going to love it here. Did you know one of the founding fathers of our school was Albert Einstein? I guess that’s one of the reasons we have a reputation for being super smart.” She paused to look at Joe. Joe didn’t answer, he was too amazed by the drone technology.

“Oh, the drones! Do you like them? I designed the blueprints for them. Sally over there put them together. I’m Rachel by the way,” She said, sticking out her hand. Joe shook it and looked up at Rachel.

“I’m Joe,” He said simply.

“Your Joe? I’ve heard lots about you! You are supposed to be smart, huh? What’s 10 × 4 - 2 × (16 ÷ 4) ÷ 2 ÷ 1/2 + 9? Don’t think, just answer.”

“I don’t know, 22.5?” Joe said unsure of himself.

“You don't know? It’s worse to answer and say you're unsure than to not answer and really know the correct answer.”

“What?” Joe asked.

“I’m saying...You know what never mind. Here I’ll show you to your first class.” She walked in front of Joe while he followed. While they were walking through the hallways Joe saw many different inventions students had made. This school was nothing like he had ever seen before. 

He could have sworn he saw a saber-toothed tiger in the science lab. He almost asked about it, but he didn’t want to look dumb in front of Rachel.

“I saw your mouth open,” Rachel said, staring him down. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.” He said looking away from her.

“You know it doesn’t make you dumb to ask a question.” She said turning away. Joe thought about that for a moment. He had heard that from numerous teachers before but there was something about Rachel that made it sound more true. 

“Are you in my first class?” Joe asked, trying to change the subject.

“Oh, no. I was told you needed to be taught about our school. You see we have made many different science inventions, unlocked many doors in the math program, and our sports teams have been playing phenomenally lately. Ms. Robert’s told me that you needed to be loosened up. That you need to be informed about nature.”

Joe didn’t know how to respond but he nodded. When Rachel stopped he almost bumped into her. “Here we are, just through those doors. Well, nice meeting you!” She walked back down the hallway and Joe opened the door. 

He couldn’t believe what he saw in the classroom and he was never able to describe it to anyone.





September 12, 2020 21:36

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236 comments

Hriday Saboo
13:37 Sep 20, 2020

Hiya Evelyn a pretty cool story. Loved it. Would you mind checking my new story the zombies

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:49 Sep 20, 2020

Thanks and sure!

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Naomi Quinn
22:29 Sep 18, 2020

Hi everyone it’s me again this time my name is Naomi Quinn

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Naomi Quinn
22:29 Sep 18, 2020

Ready to get more karma points

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Megan Sutherland
10:56 Sep 17, 2020

I'm so frustrated with this downvoter!!! I'm upvoting you 20. I have lost nearly 200 points.

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:59 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you so much!! Here I'll upvote you too!!

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Megan Sutherland
21:35 Sep 17, 2020

THANK YOU EVELYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
19:30 Sep 18, 2020

Sure, no problem! I love upvoting!!!

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Megan Sutherland
22:15 Sep 18, 2020

😁

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Avani G
20:07 Nov 09, 2020

Hey, Evelyn! Great story! And happy (belated) birthday to your brother, Joe! The main things I realized that could have been improved on this story was describing the setting/location and character development. We were told that Joe's mother was pressurizing Joe into attending Bridgewater school, but the hints you gave were very subtle, and could have been described much better. Remember to Show, not Tell. And the ending threw me off a bit. Maybe try elaborating more on Joe's first day at school. There were also a few typos. Make sure ...

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:59 Nov 09, 2020

Thanks so much Avani!! I always love your comments!! Thanks for the advice, and I'm looking forward to reading your stories!!

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Avani G
22:43 Nov 09, 2020

No problem, Evelyn!

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Authoring Studio
15:41 Sep 24, 2020

Thanks a lot for speaking up against heartless downvoters! I can't go for an upvote-for-upvote spree, but I can definitely increase a few points (I have exams, see)

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:09 Sep 25, 2020

Thank you so much!! I really do hate those down voters!!

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B. W.
21:11 Sep 23, 2020

Hey, so remember my demi-god series? i may be turning it into an actual novel and i need help

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B. W.
14:37 Sep 21, 2020

ya wanna go on another upvote spree for each other?

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Evelyn ⭐️
00:19 Sep 22, 2020

I would love to! Just letting you know, I am going to comment the same thing on all of your stories to try and raise your points.

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B. W.
00:44 Sep 22, 2020

alright, thanks ^^

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Megan Sutherland
03:38 Sep 20, 2020

Love your profile pic, Evelyn- my friend and I just watched that movie :)

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:49 Sep 20, 2020

Ha, thanks!! She's my fav Disney princess.

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Megan Sutherland
18:33 Sep 20, 2020

Cool! Personally, Jasmine is my fav :)

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Evelyn ⭐️
19:06 Sep 20, 2020

Oh I love her too! I love the movie Aladdin!!

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Megan Sutherland
19:10 Sep 20, 2020

:)

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Mia Courts
22:21 Sep 18, 2020

I used the website 10 minute mail to get the email

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Mia Courts
22:21 Sep 18, 2020

Thank you for following me to tell you the truth this is actually hannah Skifstad I made a fake Account and used a fake email to sign up so I can up vote you more and up vote. Everyone that lost karma points

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:22 Sep 18, 2020

Oh wow! Thank you so much!

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Mia Courts
22:23 Sep 18, 2020

Your welcome I’m just getting you back the karma points you deserve

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:23 Sep 18, 2020

Awww! Thank you! It is really annoying when the downvoted strikes!

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Mia Courts
22:24 Sep 18, 2020

I know

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Mia Courts
22:25 Sep 18, 2020

I’m going to make several fake accounts so I can get people back people karma points

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Ariadne .
03:13 Oct 02, 2020

Wow, Hannah, that's so sweet of you! As long as you don't upvote yourself (unless you get downvoted obviously) cuz that would be kind of like cheating.

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B. W.
19:53 Sep 18, 2020

Oh gosh, i didn't even know you made a story a bit ago until now, sorry. Though this story is really great just like your other one's that i have seen and i'm not sure if anything is really wrong with it tbh (i know others might tell you what to do to fix it, though i never really notice those problems or anything, at least for a while) My only advice is that you should still continue to make some more stories here i know that they'll always be really great my friend ^^ so can ya guess what imma do? this gets a 10/10 :)

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:10 Sep 18, 2020

Awwww... thank you so much B.W. Your the sweetest!

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B. W.
13:01 Sep 18, 2020

i need some help

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:05 Sep 18, 2020

With what?

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B. W.
22:12 Sep 18, 2020

i honestly forgot but i think i might know sorry if i already asked though, i need help trying to make up a death for a character

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:13 Sep 18, 2020

That’s fine, ok maybe they could get killed by some cool animal/creature in the other dimension.

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B. W.
22:16 Sep 18, 2020

could ya help me come up with the animal/creature?

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:17 Sep 18, 2020

Ya sure. Do you want it to be scary?

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Keerththan 😀
07:06 Sep 18, 2020

Hey Evelyn Its so sad that you too got downvoted. I lost 600+ points. I will upvote you right now and I would love some too.... Thanks and stay safe. Also enjoy school :)

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:04 Sep 18, 2020

Thank you so much! I will go upvote u!

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Keerththan 😀
22:47 Sep 18, 2020

Thank you. I will upvote you right now.

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Keerththan 😀
22:57 Sep 18, 2020

I upvoted you. Now you are in 30th position. Go check out!

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:31 Sep 19, 2020

Omg! Thank you so much!

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Keerththan 😀
14:32 Sep 19, 2020

Welcome!

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B. W.
01:22 Sep 18, 2020

can we talk some more? i need to calm down from something, kinda mad

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:04 Sep 18, 2020

Sure! And oh no, what happened?

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B. W.
22:11 Sep 18, 2020

well you know my novel and how i plan to get Harlow and Willow together, right?

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:12 Sep 18, 2020

Yea....?

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B. W.
22:14 Sep 18, 2020

Your right with same gendered couples right? i'm pretty sure you are and because i support LGBTQ and im fine with them, but i'm worried about people really hating the novel because i know a lot of people don't like that and i'm just worried on what to do

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:16 Sep 18, 2020

Nooooo, I love that u did that! It doesn’t matter what other people think, I know some people will love it. It’s really good that u are doing that! I think you should keep it.

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Ariadne .
03:14 Oct 02, 2020

Sorry for intruding here, but if you want a relationship in your story, GO FOR IT. There will be haters out there but there are also supporters. Do your thing and don't worry about others.

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B. W.
21:49 Sep 17, 2020

Hey would it be alright if i maybe did a nod towards ya in the novel or something? maybe like something with your name?

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:02 Sep 18, 2020

Omg! I would love that!

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B. W.
22:11 Sep 18, 2020

How would you want the character to act?

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:12 Sep 18, 2020

What do you mean?

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B. W.
22:13 Sep 18, 2020

like the personality

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:14 Sep 18, 2020

Maybe like funny, kind, maybe like overly positive. #LiterallyMe

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Lauren :)
16:17 Sep 17, 2020

Go Evelyn! Your number 37 on the Leader-board! Keep it up girl!😀

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:00 Sep 17, 2020

Thank you so much Lauren!!

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Yolanda Wu
10:43 Sep 14, 2020

This was such an interesting story! It's so sweet that you wrote this for your little brother. I loved the way you wrote Mrs Tate's excitement compared to Joe's apprehensiveness towards the school. The beginning was great in illustrating all the expectations the school has and also how talented Joe is. But of course, despite all that, he doesn't seem very happy. I'm excited to see what's going to happen next. Wonderful work, Evelyn!

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Evelyn ⭐️
13:50 Sep 14, 2020

Thank you so much Yolanda!!

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C.j 🤍
20:36 Sep 13, 2020

I loved this story!!! Is there going to be part 2? I love all of your story’s.happy birthday joe !!! You did a awesome job!!!!! Keep writing!

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:09 Sep 13, 2020

Thank you so much! I will hopefully write a part 2 soon!!!

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D. Jaymz
16:48 Sep 13, 2020

A well-written story 👏 Great work with the research that adds authenticity to your story. Very creative and an enjoyable read 😊 Wishing your brother, Joe, a Happy Birthday 🎁 tomorrow.

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:06 Sep 13, 2020

Thank you so much!!! 🎉🎉🎉

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D. Jaymz
22:31 Sep 13, 2020

You're welcome 😊

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Lauren :)
04:26 Sep 13, 2020

I loved your story! And happy birthday to your brother!

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:36 Sep 13, 2020

Thank you and thank you Lauren!!

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