The Early Bird

Two days into the New Year: 

“Don’t forget!” Valerie texted her friend, her head propped on a pillow. She wiggled her toes, feeling snug in her warm bed. She waited. Speech bubbles appeared then disappeared. Typing, the little caption read at the top of the WhatsApp chat with her friend Tanya. What was taking Tanya so long to type the simple words OK. or even a thumbs up emoji? As she waited for the speech bubbles to form into whatever it was Tanya was still typing (and probably retyping), Valerie switched from her WhatsApp to her Instagram. She scrolled and liked random pictures. She could guiltily admit that sometimes she didn’t bother to necessarily read the captions that came with the pictures. Potentially problematic, but she’d start with one good habit at a time. 

“You’re still up? Okay, don’t forget to put your phone on loud,” Tanya texted. “See you at six in the morning.” 

Valerie sent back a smiling and heart emoji. She logged off her WhatsApp. She was about to get on her instagram then realised that would show if she was online. She didn’t want any lecturers. So she settled for Twitter. She’d been meaning to catch-up on the news anyway. Valerie scrolled and scrolled until her eyes were burning. Deciding that that was the sign that she’d had enough, Valerie turned off her phone then checked her night stand clock: 23:45. All she needs is six hours anyway. The thought came from somewhere deep inside her memory and triggered jolts of guilt and shame. She could remember sitting in her aunt’s living room and one of her aunt’s guests talking about how you could spot a lazy person: “The average teenager may need eight hours of sleep, that’s what we tell children anyway,” he said, “but as we get older, really anyone sleeping beyond six hours tops…just know that is a lazy bugger, won’t succeed in anything in life.” All the adults in the room had nodded in agreement. 

Valerie closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come. After twenty minutes, it hadn’t. Her body began to spontaneously itch in odd places. First her ankles, a few seconds later, her armpits, a few seconds later her face. She needed to sleep. She resisted looking at the clock. She knew that it would only remind her of how many hours she had left before morning. 

But after what felt like forever Valerie threw her duvet cover off and walked barefoot from her room down the hallway to the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator door and let the cold air wash over her face. Valerie grabbed the carton of milk. A nice warm cup of milk with a sugar or two should definitely help. She smiled. She was going to get it right this time. She could feel it. 

Two minutes later, Valerie sat on her bed with her hot sweet beverage. She took a sip, it was too hot. Well, she’d have to wait for it to cool. Why not watch something for the time it takes for her to finish her milkshake. 

Her cup of milk done and two episodes of Green leaf later, Valerie felt she was finally ready for bed. It was 02:00. She only had four hours left. 

The phone buzzed twice on her bedside table before Valerie answered it. “Hey,” she tried to sound spirited and awake. “You ready for the day?” came Tanya’s chirpy voice from the other end. “I’m ready, thanks Tanya.” As soon as she hung up, Valerie set an alarm for an hour later and went back to bed, nearly slamming her phone onto the bedside table. She knew full well she would only fully wake three hours from then. 

***

Eight days into the New Year: 

It was 22:30 and Valerie knew it was past her bedtime. This wasn’t good. She knew that a television series always had a cliffhanger, a neat little scheme designed to keep eyeballs glued to the screen. She had tried to be ‘productive’ while she watched: Made her lunch to have on campus and laid out the clothes she would wear the next day. But here she was still telling herself “just one more episode.” At 23:00 she finally clicked the little ‘x’ and closed the Netflix window. “You can do this Val,” she said to herself. She was determined to get herself up on time, get a good morning routine of yoga and breakfast before heading off to campus for her first classes. She hadn’t done much of the work for her classes, but she was confident that if she just woke up early and was on campus early enough she could get through her readings before they started. 

Valerie checked the alarm on her cellphone for the third time. 06:00 sharp, she would be awake. Then she changed it to 06:15, to make up for the time it would take her to get into bed. She placed her cellphone in the hallway, close to the bathroom door and left her bedroom door open. It was a good thing that her flatmate wasn’t around to witness this trial and error in trying to get her New Year’s resolution: Wakeup early and be productive. She was going to get it right. She could get her body disciplined. She had watched multiple videos on why people procrastinate and why people struggle to get up early and tricks and tips on how to overcome them. She now knew she had to regulate her emotions, tell herself to do things even if she didn’t want to. The best way to wakeup was to force herself to actually get out of bed, the YouTuber had said. The logic was that by the time she got to the bathroom door to turn off her alarm she would have been hit by the cold morning air and she’d walk straight into the bathroom to wash her face. This was going to have to work because Tanya had given up on calling her. 

Valerie got herself into bed and turned off her bedside light. This was good, she thought to herself. In bed before midnight. She was getting somewhere. But two hours later, Valerie was still tossing and turning under her covers. She had tried to let her imagination wander in the hopes that it would take her to dreamland. No cups of sugary sweetness, they only made things worse, she thought. She was going to fall asleep and be an early bird who catches the worm. A productive person who only needed six hours of sleep. Valerie lay on her back and looked at the dimly lit ceiling. The moon’s light came in through her slightly open curtains. Perhaps she could do some work right now? Nah, morning time was a better time to be productive. She had experienced the rush of working early morning a few times before and she’d enjoyed it. It was the getting up that was the trouble. The few times she had managed to wake up, it was because she had something important like a doctor’s appointment before class or something like that. But she didn’t have such rousing morning solutions everyday. This had to work. Valerie turned on her side to face the window. She tried to lie very still, tried hard not to move. 

The loud buzzing sound was like a shriek. Valerie sat up in bed for a few seconds before she finally figured out that it was her alarm calling her from near the bathroom door. Her body ambled out bed and dragged her feet towards it. It didn’t feel like she’d slept at all. Her dreams had been restless and once or twice she woke up, but fell back asleep quickly enough. She turned off her alarm. But instead of walking into the bathroom to wash her face, Valerie walked straight back to bed. Her body and mind convincing her that she still needed more sleep. Maybe I’m just wired to be lazy, I need to remember to look it up: Are people born with lazy genes and how can one beat them, she thought to herself as she pulled the duvet back over her ears.

***

Two weeks into the New Year: 

It was 22:30. Valerie walked into her apartment with a black grocery bag from the corner store. A nice energy drink would do the trick. She’d decided that falling asleep and trying to wakeup early was useless. She’d been trying for two weeks already, and the new year wasn’t getting any newer. This was her third year at it too. But she’d decided enough was enough. She was going to work at night instead and sleep in the morning. Her desk was set, her schedule for all the work she needed to cover was next to her laptop. She plopped the can of energy drink with a glass next to it. Valerie sat in her chair and set to work. 

***

Three weeks into the New Year: 

The sound of birds singing came from her phone next to her bed. Valerie didn’t have to hit the snooze button. It was thirty minutes past noon and she was ready for the day. She swung her legs onto the floor and felt the cool tiles under her feet. It felt good. She stretched and could feel her shoulder and arm muscles tensing slightly. Who knew yoga could be that challenging, and she now knew that it could help her sleep better at 05:30 every morning before she woke seven hours later everyday. This was productivity. She’d finally achieved it.