My soulmate

February had finally arrived. The February that we had been longing for several years to go to Brazil.

My wife had several Portuguese colleagues and had decided to learn Portuguese from them. 

Although she had a very tight schedule with her college courses and work, she did not give up on learning a new language. She was intelligent, dependable, hardworking, and dedicated like a true Taurus, hence why I fell in love with her.

With her strong will, no one could change her attitude, she was even sometimes tough with me. I am the opposite of her and never really finish my work, since I do have a hard time saying “no” to people, I tend to take on too much work, yet I still don’t take it hard on myself. 

Back when I only knew her through one of my friends, I was almost sure that she is my soulmate and we can complete each other. I proposed to her nine months after our first date.

Though I respected her hard work and motivation, I wish that I hadn’t encouraged her as much as I did. When I saw her joy and eagerness to learn Portuguese, I told her when she ends up learning Portuguese, we’ll visit the carnival in Brazil. 

I did not think she would take me seriously, but she did. She continued to practice her Portuguese with her colleagues, she even set up her tv to run tv shows and movies only of that language. At first, I didn’t take her seriously and thought that she’d surely give up and that this was just a phase from getting to know her new colleagues, but as time went on I was proven to be wrong. She truly did everything she could to learn the language in hopes of visiting the carnival in which she always dreamt of attending. Six to seven months later she surprisingly was becoming more and more fluent. She became so well versed in the language to where she could finally understand the Portuguese shows and movies that played on our tv and would often translate them for me. She got so good in fact that she wouldn’t stop nagging about the trip I’d promised her a few months prior. That’s when I realized what I had done. Unfortunately, I did not have the money for such a trip solely because I honestly did not expect her to learn so quickly. I tried to tell her about our situation but she was too stubborn to accept the lack of funds and came up with a 3-year plan of savings. 

All people around us knew that we are going to Brazil in three years. She was constantly looking at carnival photos and videos and showing them to me and others. She went on a diet to lose weight three months before the trip; she started to go to the solarium once a week to get a tan, which resulted in me having to lie and tell her “yes you look tanner dear!” 

The promised day had finally arrived. From the moment we boarded the plane, she turned to me and seriously said: " From now until the last day of our trip, we must only speak Portuguese." I smiled faintly and nodded my head and then I slept during the whole flight. Of course, I had picked up some bits and pieces here and there but I was far from fluent. We were supposed to stay in Brazil for five days.

We arrived in Rio. OMG.! The city was full of light and joy. Laughter was heard in the streets. A big smile of excitement and joy was on both of our faces. We were constantly pointing out different things to each other. My wife tried to talk to the taxi driver in Portuguese and asked him questions.

We were very tired when we arrived at the hotel. It was late, and we soon fell asleep amidst the cheers of the people whose voices could be heard from the hotel window. We woke up early in the morning by the sounds of people on the street. The carnival and its numerous parties had begun as soon as the city had woken up. We could see the Blocos just outside our hotel room window, a party that was advertised all over the city.

People had dressed in crazy costumes and march with large percussion bands down the street while drinking and dancing. Going around from one party to another using public transportation almost like a never-ending moving party. My wife was very excited to know who will be chosen as the queen and princesses of Carnival.

She spoke Portuguese non-stop, but I was paying attention to the people on the street, plus even If I did I wouldn’t be able to understand her anyway. The colors, decorations, clothes, light, and radiance of the streets were unparalleled. Everything was seemed happy and cheerful and the Samba Parade was about to start. People had special clothes, costumes, and accessories like funny hats, wigs, big necklaces, body glitter, face paint and etc., some people also dressed as a themed character.

I had worn neon shorts with no top paired with a big blue neckless with a large feathered had to match. My wife had a neon bikini with a painting of the brazil flag on her face, she was so pretty and I could see now how tan her skin was. I kissed her. It was a fabulous day. We walked with the crowd. We danced, drank and laughed. We were so excited and my wife was careful to speak just Portuguese.

We had a very good time. I thought to myself how great my wife's idea was to come on this trip.

Suddenly we heard a lot of noise from across the street. Beautiful girls were dancing in sexy and attractive clothes. Excitement was everywhere.

I was all eyes and watching them. The dancers were so sexy and hot. My wife said something but it was very noisy and I could not hear her well. So I did not pay attention to her and kept going to watch dancers.

After a while I suddenly noticed her staring at me instead of watching and enjoying the parade.

I shouted, with a big smile and my red cheeks of excitement, " it's amazing, are you enjoying it too?!"

She looked at me angrily, and this time she said sarcastically, not in Portuguese: "You seem to be having more fun and excitement than me?! Aren’t you?"

“OMG!” I told to myself. She was angry at me because I was watching pretty and distracting dancers eagerly.

I tried to do or say something but no sound came from my throat. She pulled my hand and took me with her to another side. To be honest this side was even better than the previous one. I winked in appreciation, but she pushed me again with greed and anger. Then the story began. She had forgotten about her excitement about talking in Portuguese and watching the carnival and parade. She just had stared at me and followed the line of my gaze to know which of the dancers I was looking at.

I begged God in my heart, " I spent too much money to come and see the carnival, please help me to enjoy”, God was there, because suddenly the crowd like a big wave hitting a ship and splitting it in two, separated me and my wife. It was as if each of us was thrown in one direction. In a second she was lost in the crowd. I could only see her for a moment; our eyes met and I lost it again. I went to the side that I saw her but it was very crowded and I could not find her, I was wondered. I was going this way and that way so that I might be able to find him. I was sure she was doing the same.

I tried to get rid of the crowd ُ Then I leaned against a door and looked for her with my eyes. Suddenly the door got opened, I lost my control and was thrown back on one of the dancers right behind the door. the dancer girl was startled at first, but happily lifted me off the ground and danced with me. I also had to smile and dance for a second, suddenly I saw my wife, she was standing almost in the middle of the gate and staring at me. Although I could only see her for a second, I noticed that her face was red, I thought she might feel warm because everything was warmer in the crowd.

I raised my hand to shake for her but I did not see her anymore, I lost her again, she had disappeared again and I was thrown to the other side with a wave of the crowd.

I was anxious. I did not know if I was lost or if she was lost amid all the joy and excitement. I had to find her. We have been waiting for this trip for three years and I should not let it spoil. I did not want the journey she longed for got ruin.

While the people were all drinking and dancing and rejoicing, we were looking for each other. I looked for her for a while; then I decided to go back to the hotel, may find her there. I was far from the hotel then I walked back to the hotel. The streets were very crowded and my movement was slow.

In many parts, I had to stop for the parade to pass. It was spectacular and enjoyable. Although I was anxious to get to the hotel as soon as possible, I could not take my eyes off the dancers. it was really a big celebration of food and pleasures. Although I was worried, I enjoyed it. Millions of visitors were in the city to celebrate and enjoy. Everywhere you looked, your heart was filled with joy and excitement.

I was almost sure that my wife, although she was upset about losing each other, but was doing the same. She was smart enough not to ruin her day. We had three more days ahead to be together, so we should not ruin our day. It was late in the afternoon when I finally arrived at the hotel. Except for the part where I lost my wife, the rest of my day was great. I had a lot of fun. I was excited to tell her everything I had seen.

I was hungry. I wanted to go straight to the hotel buffet. I did not know if she had yet arrived at the hotel. I entered the hotel lobby whistling and rolled my eyes to find her. She was not there. I checked our room, she wasn't there either. I decided to go to the buffet to have something to eat and wait there.

I crossed the pool, everyone was happy. I went to the buffet while singing and dancing and looking for my wife. I found her, while I had a big smile on my face, I waved my hand and called her, but in the midst of that happy crowd, she stared at me furiously. It was as if time stopped for a moment. My smile was disappeared and I swallowed saliva for fear. I quickly noticed the bad state of affairs, so; I straightened myself out a bit, “onde você estava amor? Eu senti sua falta! “(where were you my love? I missed you!) I said in Portuguese loudly to make her happy and opened my hug toward her, but things were worse than I thought. She pulled my arms and took me to the room.

She was so mad at me. she started to cry, yell, and cursing me that I have ruined her vacation. She wanted to know where I was? why I had not back to the hotel immediately after I lost her?

I found out that she had come by since morning when she had lost me and expected me the same thing as she was done. Practically she was at the hotel entire of the day waiting for me.!

I tried to explain, but she did not let me talk. I wanted to kiss her but she pushed me back. I said in Portuguese: “Me desculpa amor” (I’m sorry my love), but she slammed the door and left the room.

I sat there and did not know what to do. I did not think I had done anything wrong. If she had done this, I would not have been angry with her.

I could not think or concentrate.

I drank a sip of wine and waited for her. I was sure that when she calmed down she would come back and then I would apologize to her and we would go for dinner and to the hotel club together. I waited for her for half an hour but she did not show up. I sincerely wanted to have a good holiday together and she would not be upset with me and accept my apology. It was that I may be wrong, but I did not mean anything. I thought she would do the same thing I did. Nothing else had occurred to me other than what I had done.

I stand up and walked around the room. I promised myself not to make this mistake again. I was preparing sentences and words in Portuguese to say to make her laugh. Suddenly the sound of music coming from outside came louder. I opened the window. A band started dancing by the pool. I started singing their songs with them and shaking my head.

Suddenly she came into the room. Her eyes were red with tears. She saw me singing and dancing, and; It was as if she exploded. She shouted, “I hate you, I have worked hard for this trip for three years! I have learned Portuguese. I have saved, but you ruined everything”. 

I got shocked. I’ve never had seen her like this. I tried to do something or say something but she did not let me talk. She was very stubborn and started to pack up our stuff and put them in our luggage. I could not convince her to forgive me. It was why we came back from our vacation earlier than we planned.

Two months after the trip she abandoned me and left. Again, as always, she finished her job and did not give up.

Now I’m sitting on our balcony, smoking and thinking about our “Rio de Janeiro” carnival memories, pondering with myself; Did I do anything wrong; Was it wrong of me to even enjoy the carnival? Or should have kept my eyes on me? Did I ask her to save our money to go to the carnival? Did I ask her to learn Portuguese? Was she really my soulmate? Did her stubbornness ruin our marriage or mine? Or I’m stubborn too?!

I prayed to God, “where did I go wrong?”

Suddenly it was as if a voice in my head said: “your idiot, why did you forget to wear sunglasses?!”