Banality

I mopped the floor just like the night before, and the night before that, and every other night since I started working at this museum. I thought I might have already mopped this bit of floor, but I could never be sure. Hard to remember details like that with the same routine day in and day out. I didn't mind though. I always did love me a good routine.

“Have a good night,” said Jim. The end of his shift was the beginning of mine, he must have ran long again.

“Keeping you late?”

“Yeah, some kid on the last tour lost his lunch before he could make it to the bathroom.”

“Another one, huh? One every day lately.”

“Sure feels that way sometimes, yeah.”

“Hey about that hourglass display, you know the one with them solid gold handles?”

“What about it?”

“Well I knocked into it while I was mopping the other night, cracked the glass something good. I ain’t heard no fuss about it though, and I looked at it again today it was just fine. Know anything about it?” Jim frowned and shook his head. He looked confused, then he started laughing which confused me.

“Aww, you’re pulling my leg. That piece just got put out on display this morning. Almost had me for a second though, Dr. Hooper would’ve been pissed if you broke an exhibit. See you tomorrow, Al,” he said. He walked off before I could say anything else.

“Well that was odd,” I said out loud to no one in particular. I shrugged and kept mopping. Odd was odd, but work was work and I wouldn’t hear the end of it if I didn’t get these floors clean. I found myself in front of that fancy hourglass again. Sand gently trickled down into the bottom. There wasn’t a scratch on it. No wonder Jim thought I was pulling his leg. I must’ve imagined it or dreamt it or something. He was right, I would’ve been booted out the door if she thought I had even looked at anything in here wrong.

Lunchtime finally came around and I sat down in the employee lounge. It was my usual meal, ham and cheese sandwich, a handful of Oreos, and a diet soda because my doctor said I had to lose weight or I’d be at risk of “complications.” I wasn’t sure what the big deal was, everything that man said sounded complicated to me. I swear, half the work of becoming a doctor was learning how to talk circles around hard-working folks like myself. Makes it easier to part us from our cash, I suppose. Kyle came in and made himself a cup of coffee, his usual break time routine.

“Any intruders this evening?” I asked him.

“I wish,” he said. He took a swig of his coffee and grimaced. “Man, they need to splurge on better coffee around here. Well, back to it.” I chuckled as he walked away. He made that same joke every night, but he wasn’t wrong about the coffee. It was like drinking freshly brewed shit. Still, caffeine was a necessary evil to get most of us through the night.

Morning finally rolled around and the daytime maintenance crew started to trickle in. None of them seemed to get on with me much, but I didn’t really understand why. I always got almost everything done. Sure, I might miss a trash can or two, but I never thought it was that big a deal.

“See you tomorrow,” I said to one of them in passing on my way out. I couldn’t ever remember his name.

“Yeah,” was all he ever said. I talked to him on my way out damn near every morning but that's all he seemed to be willing to give me. I didn't let it bother me too much. A simple fact of the world was that some people like me were friendly and some people like him just ain't. 

  I got in my truck and the radio played the same top forty rock music it played every morning. I didn’t mind the consistency, but I did wish they’d change up the playlist every once and a while. The drive home was nice, one of the few silver linings of working the night shift. Never was much traffic to worry about at this time of day. I was dog tired, so I hopped in bed as soon as I got home. My shower could wait until I got up for the next shift.

I was back at it again the next day, mopping more of the same floor like the day before. Some people might’ve gotten bored doing this every day, but I’d always loved a good routine and the pay wasn’t too awful. Jim was on his way out the door.

“Have a good night,” he said.

“Keeping you late? They sure are working you hard lately.”

“Oh not that hard. We just had some kid lose his lunch on the last tour. He didn’t make it to the bathroom and I stayed to help clean up.”

“Another one, huh? One happens every day.”

“Sure feels that way sometimes, yeah.”

“Well, have a good night, anyway.”

“See you tomorrow, Al.” I kept on mopping and stopped in front of the hourglass again. It really was a good looking piece of art, though I didn’t really know too much about the whole subject myself. Daddy always told me art class was for kids that couldn’t get themselves a football scholarship. I never really had one of those either though. I remembered how heavy those handles were that night I knocked it over. Well, I guess that never actually happened, on account of how I probably just dreamt it up.

I decided to splurge a little on my lunch and got myself a regular soda instead of diet. I had been doing real good, so I figured I oughta reward myself. The sugar was a nice little change of pace from that fake crap I’d been forcing myself to drink. It’s the simple things in life that make a man’s day. Like clockwork, Kyle came in and made himself a cup of coffee.

“Any break-ins tonight?” I asked him.

“I wish,” he said and took a sip of his coffee and frowned. “Man, they need to splurge on some better coffee around here. Well, back to it.” I laughed, I always enjoyed my little chats with him. I thought about applying for the night guard job once upon a time, but I decided I wouldn’t be able to stand to watch the same bit of nothing on a TV screen all night. I went back to mopping once I finished chowing down.

I was finishing up the floors in the room where the hourglass was, when I heard a commotion behind me. I turned and saw that something was happening to it. The whole thing started shaking and wobbling, but I knew I hadn’t done anything to it this time. All of the sand was at the bottom of the glass now. I don’t know where he came from, but a strange man in a hooded maroon robe seemed to appear right in front of me. He looked upset with me, though I couldn’t say why that might be.

“Hey friend, museum is closed for the night. Exit’s right down that way,” I said, pointing to the front door.

“Have you had enough yet?” said the man, and I thought that was a mighty strange thing to ask.

“Enough of what?”

“You don’t remember?” he asked. He seemed as confused as I was.

“Remember what?”

“You broke the hourglass and I cursed you?”

“Oh I thought I had dreamt that,” I said, though I vaguely recalled a conversation about it once he mentioned it.

“You don’t remember living the same day over and over again?” he asked. He seemed to be real agitated.

“I suppose it feels like that sometimes, but I don’t mind the simple life,” I said, which only seemed to make him angrier.

“You bumped into my hourglass and shattered it, I cursed you to live the same day for a year. None of this is ringing a bell?” His voice started to sound a bit like air escaping a balloon.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I sure don’t feel very cursed. You sure you did it right?”

Am I sure? Yes, I’m sure. You cracked my hourglass so I put you into a perpetual time loop to drive you crazy as punishment. You really don’t remember? It’s been a year!” I didn’t understand a lick of what he said, it all sounded pretty complicated. Maybe he was a doctor.

“Are you saying I drank all those diet sodas for nothing?”

“I-what? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Look son, my daddy always taught me that there’s two kinds of people in this world: ones who tell you like it is, and ones who tell you like it ain’t. Which one are you?”

“What?”

“Is or ain’t son, is or ain’t?”

“You know what, just forget it. You have served out your sentence and I hereby release you from the curse. Please never speak to me again,” he said.

“Sorry son, I didn’t mean to upset you. Like I said, the exit is that way.” I was sure that would sort him, so I went back to mopping. I looked back up a moment later and he was gone.

“Well that was odd,” I said out loud to no one in particular. I shrugged and kept mopping. Odd was odd, but work was work and I wouldn’t hear the end of it if I didn’t get these floors clean.