Mother of Slaps

Submitted into Contest #51 in response to: Write a story about someone who's haunted by their past.... view prompt

16 comments

General

Am I dying for you? You will never know peace in your entire life until you drink with your skull, Besha lamented on her death bed.

Don-Ken is the father of two children; the children were known by the entire village as very good criminals. Dojo and Bodero have never passed a chicken in someone's compound without getting lost.

The time came when the whole villagers had to cook for the two brothers a special meal. You can imagine this type of feast prepared for criminals.

The trap didn’t catch the prey for years until the day they stole from the shrine of Obeke who is the greatest deity in the land of Odakoko.

On the eve of their sacrifice, their father was called to come and witness the drum of the slaughter of his children. It was dawn when the elders and the youths gathered to send them a farewell into the land of the evil forest where none of their remains will ever come to existence again. A few minutes later, the knife was sharpened; they have tied both hands to their legs. The sharpened knife was placed in the red fire set to cook their bodies to ashes. First, the knife was used to engrave a mark on their skin as a remembrance of the pain they have caused to the community. They cried in a loud voice and pleaded for a second chance but as the law demands, the executioners continued with the process of sending notorious criminals to where they belong. The father watched his two sons being slaughtered like a chicken, placed into the fire without a word.

“It’s over,” the elders said. “Now we can sleep with our two eyes closed.” They all departed to their homes.

Years later, Don-Ken married again from the neighbouring village. Few weeks of marriage, the woman became ill. There was no hospital around except the one in the city which takes 20 miles on foot. Don-Ken was confused about what he is to do and save the wife. Amolo, the old friend came to visit him and saw the situation in which they were in and decided to help him with his motorcycle. They arrived at the City hospital after a long hour ride on the motorcycle.

The doctor checked and confirmed she's pregnant. He's happy to hear that. Although they were admitted, the following day, they were discharged. As they were going back home, they passed by the market to get some fruits and vegetables as instructed by the doctor.

After supper, they went to bed while tired and slept. Next morning, the husband went to fetch water from the stream where he met the seer from Ocombo who told him that he will never have peace until he visits the grave of the late wife for confession.

He took the words for granted and went on to fetch water. Nine months later, the wife delivered a baby boy with a mark on his body. Immediately, he recalled the same mark that was placed on his children that were burnt because of stealing. He feared that history might repeat itself. But as usual, he never uttered a word.

The wife was happy for the safe delivery. Months elapsed and the child begins to grow while the father was afraid of what the future holds for him. Five years later, Obike, his son stole from the mother’s pot of soup some meat while his father was in a hideout watching him. The whole day was full of thoughts about what he should do. He remembered his own life; the day he was cursed by the old woman he stole from and the curse that the wife also placed on him and he became more confused about where to run for help.

The following day, he went to see the priestess of Adambe. On his arrival, she said, "turn to where you are coming from; for the fire which you've set is ready to cook your food. It's just the beginning. Unless you confess for your evil deeds to the entire community, then shall you will be free."

Don-Ken made haste home and called his son.

Obike!

"Yes, papa."

"Come here immediately."

"Okay, papa but wait I am doing something."

Obike started coughing.

"Why are you coughing?"

Quickly, he rushed to know what he's doing and realised that his son wants to chew the piece of meat he has stolen from the pot faster before he could come out to answer. He raised his hand to beat him up but recalled that a snake cannot fail to replicate what resembles it.

Don-Ken lamented bitterly.

"It's better to die than to experience all these disgraces. I am tired of all these sleepless nights and rains of shame on my face just for a common mistake."

Mistake! The wife inquired. "What mistake my husband?"

Oh! "That's in the past already. There's no need you worrying about it. I can handle it myself."

"Okay, if you say so."

"Kindly, get me my food. I’m famished."

"All right, just have a sit. I will be with you in a minute."

After eating, he went into his room and locked the door for the whole day. The wife came to inquire what was going on with him but he couldn’t talk to anyone. Inside his room, he was lamenting alone.

"Had I known this is how life repays, I wouldn't have done this to myself. I stole from the old woman because I wanted to make my wife happy. Now, the old woman died because she had nothing to live on. My wife also cursed me because I came on the verge of her death. After all, I was busy roaming around looking for where to get some money as well as food to give to her. All I received were curses. Still, my children died while stealing. What type of life is this? The only hope I have is now doing the same. What a shame upon me? I wish I never stole from the old woman, all this wouldn't have happened." 

July 22, 2020 11:25

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16 comments

נιмму 🤎
20:42 Jul 24, 2020

Lovely story, especially the ending <3

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OPHOKE LEONARD
08:06 Jul 25, 2020

Hello Celeste! Thanks so much for the feedback. Nice weekend.

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Vimal Rao
14:08 Jul 24, 2020

I loved the pace. Although felt you rushed it in the end. But excellent piece of lesson from the story. Would have loved to see more layers to Don-Ken

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OPHOKE LEONARD
08:09 Jul 25, 2020

Hai Vimal! I am impressed by the honest feedback. It will help me improve on the whole novel. Thank you so much. It's just the beginning. A blissful weekend.

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Vimal Rao
11:01 Jul 25, 2020

Cheers buddy, happy weekend

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OPHOKE LEONARD
13:55 Jul 25, 2020

Danke!!! Bis abend.

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Onyekachi Ofoke
21:50 Jul 22, 2020

So inspiring and educating. Kudos bro.

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OPHOKE LEONARD
06:09 Jul 23, 2020

Thanks for the feedback @Onyekachi. It means a lot to me.

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Onyekachi Ofoke
21:50 Jul 22, 2020

So inspiring and educating. Kudos bro.

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OPHOKE LEONARD
09:20 Jul 28, 2020

Thanks so much, I will be pleased to read your story soon.

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Graham Kinross
11:14 Apr 08, 2022

I guess that the boys stole more than chickens if they got a death sentence. Were they killers? To curse someone for one mistake is very harsh. I was a foolish child and made many mistakes. I couldn’t have the life I do now without forgiveness. Why did the father not beg for the lives of his sons? Was he so ashamed. You said that they were criminals but I think the reader needs to know their crimes more to know if the punishment was harsh or fitting. I feel sorry for the father by the end. Well told. Be careful of switching between telling...

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OPHOKE LEONARD
18:26 Apr 08, 2022

Thanks, Graham, I am pleased you enjoyed the taste of my story. I will take notice of all you mentioned however, it would be good to read it over again to contextualise the story.

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Grace M'mbone
13:28 Aug 12, 2020

Nice story Ophoke. I couldn't help noticing it had some African touch to it. I liked the story, the whole of it but wasn't that satisfied with the pacing. Nice work you did here. It would be an honour I you took a look at even one of my stories. ❤️😁

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OPHOKE LEONARD
16:57 Aug 12, 2020

Thanks, my dear. I am happy you liked it. I will surely read yours. Thanks for the honest feedback. I will surely improve.

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Deborah Angevin
12:14 Jul 31, 2020

Lovely story; I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Would you mind checking my recent story out, "A Very, Very Dark Green"? Thank you!

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OPHOKE LEONARD
12:41 Jul 31, 2020

Oh, I'm pleased that you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the feedback; I will certainly check out your story as fast as now because it has an interesting title.

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