toe meets squirrel

Thursday 7:35pm 

Boy: Hey :) how's your night going?

Girl: hi hehe

not bad. chillin with my cats. doing some doodles

Boy: That's cool. I have a dog but I'm allergic to cats

Girl: boooo

how am i gonna get you over here then? ;)

Boy: I could take allergy meds. Or you could come over here

Girl: a solution man, i see

good

Boy: It's kinda my job xD

Girl: oh yeah, real estate mgmt definitely translates here lol

what do u do when you're feeling creative?

Boy: I guess I do woodworking sometimes

Girl: u gonna whittle me a spoon

Boy: xD xD

No like furniture. I built my bedside table

I could be your big spoon if u need one tho

Girl: why do you think I downloaded this app xD

you could build me a bedside table too tho

Boy: Lool

Do you ever wear lipstick?

Red lips drive me mad

Girl: ~noted~

might wear some when we meet

Boy: That would be hot

Are you free Saturday at 7?

Girl: yeah:)

Boy: Cool. It's a date

Thursday 10:35pm 

Boy: Tomorrow or tonight if you want

Will u do something very important

Girl: maybe ?

Boy: Send me a selfie

Girl: ngl kind of a weird question

i had a bunch of pics on my profile

Boy: Oh

  Ok

  I'm kinda weird

Girl: oh

Boy: Sorry

Girl: ok

that's okay. i mean i'm kinda weird too

u give me selfie i give you selfie

deal?

Boy: how sexy do you want it to be

xD xD

Girl: oh just like regular sexy

Boy: I can't do that

Girl: xD 

Boy: Any photo I take is extremely sexy

Girl: oh my.

Boy: [sends photo]

There is my foot

Not very sexy actually

Girl: wow. the squirrel is the main character. 

Boy: I forgot about that

Girl: I will never forget

toe and squirrel

it's the new peanut butter and chocolate, or boy meets girl

Girl replies to ‘Girl: I will never forget’: i might forget

Boy: Maybe you have a foot fetish

  Or a squirrel fetish

Girl: idk i can't feel some of my toes

Boy: I don't believe you

Can I test it

Girl: test my toes

  yes maybe

Boy: Ok

Cool

  I will bring my testing materials

Girl laughs at ‘I will bring my testing materials’

Boy: Feather?

Thumbtack?

Hammer?

Girl: no

ouch

feather maybe

Boy: Then how should I test

Girl: just put them in your mouth jesus christ

no need to bring out the hammer

Boy: Sometimes I can't feel my dick

Girl: hm

Boy: xD xD xD xD xD

Girl: like it falls asleep?

why can't you feel that

Boy: It was a put it in your mouth joke

Girl: oh lmao

got it

sometimes jokes. I don't get them

Boy: That's okay

The taco place I wanted closed

I'm new in the area

Girl: sad day

Boy: Give me a recommendation on what to eat

Any kinda food

Girl: hmmm

ramen

wait wait

kbbq or dave's hot chicken would be open late

Boy: Kbbq is a scam

I was thinking of something more local tho

Like a specific place

Girl: uh okay. 

and open now? sheesh

search up kebab. any kebab will do

trust nighttime kebab

Boy: Ok I will

Girl: let me know how it goes. i'm going to sleep

Friday 11:05am

Boy: Will u send me a selfie

Girl: i told you, send me one first. foot didn't count

also, why do you want one? 

Boy: [sends photo]

For fun

Girl: you're strange 

[sends photo]

oh are you trying to see my bod

Boy: Bod

Nooo

Lol

Just what you sent is good

Unless you wanted to send that

Girl: hahaha

i just still don't understand lol

Boy: You don't have to

It's ok

Girl: i just wanna know like what's the point

the selfie you sent was timestamped 2 months ago

Friday 2:55pm

Boy: Ok

I will give u the real reason

Ppl are catfishing

And I like to see recent pics

Girl: ok that's fair

all the pics on my profile were pretty recent but ive def come across people who put pics from years ago

Boy: Yes

Girl: but have you ever been catfished fr where it's just a totally different person

Boy: No

But like angles can make you lose 100 pounds xD

Girl: mm is see

I don't really mind if people are fatter than their photos seem

that's not really catfishing, that's just life

Boy: I do

But asking that

Is very rude right

So I just ask for selfie

Friday 7:02pm

Girl: while i appreciate your honestly, i hope you can do some soul searching and learn to appreciate thic women

Boy: Looool

Are you serious

Girl: yea i'm serious bro

every woman in recent history has been taught to be insecure about their weight and how they look

i started having negative thoughts about my body when i was 5

likewise, your thoughts about fatness not being attractive is learned

Boy: Well

Women have been getting bigger xD

Also trust me

I have been with some big girls

It was disgusting

Nothing to learn

Girl: ugh. well i won't be taking this any further with you

Boy: What you said kind of made me not wanna hang out with you either

I guess you could not take the honesty of what men think

Girl: not all men think like you

Boy: You're wrong

Some guys just have fetishes

I would like to point out I never called you fat

Girl: you just hang around guys who think like you

you don't have to call me fat for you to give me the ick

Boy: No I don't

This is why guys lie xD

Bc girls get the ick over everything

Girl: fuck man

as if your lies can't be sussed out

Boy: They really can't

I have gotten laid more times lying then telling the truth

Girl: congratulations?

Boy: Yes

Girl: fuckoff

[number blocked]