The Grow Op

“Alright, listen up, every one of you.” Mama’s face had already grown pale and more than a little severe as she spoke. “You best let me do the talking, you hear? I don’t want a peep out of any one of you. That goes doubly for you, Clyde.”

“Ma, you know I’m a charmer, let me work my magic! I bought the damn stuff, just let me help,” Clyde whined.

“Boy, you gonna have to charm this belt out of my hand if you open that mouth again.” The look on her face was cold enough to freeze my brother’s jaw shut. “And I don’t care if you bought the seeds, we’re the ones who’ve been tending to ‘em” 

My father began to laugh when she turned on him.

“And you! Don’t think I want anything coming from your trap neither! He got all his stupid genes from you!”

“My jeans ain’t stupid, woman, they’re right at the sweet spot, perfectly worn in but not a tear in them yet! You tell me why I would waste a good pair of jeans like that on Clyde?”

Mama rolled her eyes so hard I thought they might disappear somewhere in the back of her head. 

“Lord knows why I married a man of your caliber.”

“Speaking of the Lord, I think we should just come clean, this is the work of the Devil.”

“You tryna lecture me on what is and what is not the Devil’s work? My daddy was a pa-”

“I know, I know, your daddy was a pastor.” Pa said resignedly, “it’s just this doesn’t seem right to me is all.”

“Well, how’s about you become the bread winner again, and then I might find some use for your opinion.”

She crossed the room and stopped at the door, within an instant her expression thawed from northern winds to southern hospitality. An instant later, she had the door open and greeted two police officers with the fakest of her smiles. 

“Why, good morning officers! What can I do you for?”

The officer with the greying hair squinted his eyes and spoke.

“Hello, I’m Officer Mendez and this is Officer Larson, may we come in and speak to you and your family for a moment?”

“May I ask what this is pertaining to?”

Mendez cleared his throat.

“Ma’am, we’ve received an anonymous tip off that your family has been growing illegal narcotics somewhere on your property.”

“Well, I can assure you nothing of the sort is going on in this household, but if you’re insistent then I suppose you oughta come in.”

She held the door open for the two men as they brushed by her into the living room. With their backs turned, she shot a venomous stare at the three of us. We knew exactly what that look meant. 

When everyone was seated in the living room, the inquisition began. 

“As I stated, we received a tip off that somewhere in this house is a grow operation.” Mendex began.

“And as I stated, I can assure you that nothing of the sort would be happening in this God fearing home.” Mama retorted. 

“I appreciate that, but-”

“Oh you appreciate that, do you?” She huffed, “Officer, you wanna know what I don’t appreciate? I don’t appreciate you coming to my house in your police car, embarrassing my family in front of the neighborhood, and treating my family like a two-bit criminal organization.”

“Yeah!” Clyde hollard, “And we a three-bit family if anything!”

Mama promptly smacked him upside the head. 

Officer Larson opened his mouth for the first time. 

“Ma’am that is our job, this is what we do. Now could you stop with the smacking and settle down, please.”

Mama turned her eyes and leveled the younger cop with her gaze. He seemed to shrink a few inches, but I couldn’t be certain. 

“You know, where we come from, a guest in someone’s home is in no position to tell said homeowner to settle down, but, I’m sure I was mistaken. You weren’t telling me to calm down, were you?”

“Of course not, ma’am.” I could’ve sworn Larson’s voice was one or two octaves higher.

“Good! I knew you looked smarter than that.” The fake smile was back on her face. Mama turned back to Officer Mendez and continued. “Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, this family does not participate in those kinds of illicit activities, they are the work of the Devil.”

Just for an instant, Pa’s eyes turned and stared hard at Mama. He averted his eyes when she met his stare. A wise course of action if you ask me. But then again, no one ever asks me much.

“Even if that is the case, we got a warrant to search the place, and like my partner said, it is our job.” 

For the briefest of instants, I thought I saw Mama clench the arm of her chair. 

“Sure, this family ain’t got nothing to hide.”

The officers went room to room clearing the house, the rest of us following them. We reached the last room, my room. The first thing you notice upon entering is the tapestries on the walls, the second thing you notice is the stifling heat. The UV lamps will do that. The cops looked around, clearly losing interest. 

“You mind opening a window?” said Mendez. “My armpits are turning into armpools.”

“No!” Mama said, a little too harshly. “It’s just fine in here.”

“Hon, it is warm in here.” Pa crossed the room to the window, oblivious to the look his wife was giving him. 

The breeze came in with refreshing relief, tugging at Mama’s skirts.

“Alright, sorry for the intrusion folks, I think we’ve wasted enough of your time. The tip was probably just a prank, we get a lot of those.” As the words left Larsons mouth, his head snapped to the side. The draft caused by the open window was scattering my schoolwork on the floor, and next to my desk, the tapestries were fluttering, too.

Larson saw it. Mendez saw it. We all saw it. For the briefest of instances, a distinct gleam came off of a door knob hidden behind a tapestry. Larson ripped it down and there it was, our family's secret. The door.

Mendez swung the door open to reveal our grow op. The two officers stepped into the room, their faces’ lit up with surprise just as much with UV lights. Larson began walking the isle between plants while Mendez cuffed Pa. The older officer turned to cuff Mama when she started screaming.

“No, no, no!” She screamed and ran over to Pa. “You damned fool, you idiot! This is your fault! You and your damn window!” She began hitting him, slamming him in the chest with her palms.”

“I told you she was crazy!” Pa screamed as he tried his best to wriggle away. “I told you you’d need a S.W.A.T. te-” He cut 

It was too late, she had already heard.

Mama stopped. She took a step back. 

“Whatchu mean you told them?” she asked, even though she knew the answer.

“I’m sorry, hon, I’m sorry,” he pleaded as Mendez began to cuff Mama. “I told you this wasn’t right, we should’ve never grown this crap.”

The woman looked defeated. For all her screaming and hollering and assertiveness, I knew that my Pa was Mama’s rock. She had been stabbed by her closest companion. 

“Wait a minute,” Officer Larson had a look of puzzlement on his face. “These aren’t marijuana plants.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Mendez had the same puzzled look on his face.

“These are tomato plants!” Larson exclaimed. “I should know, my wife grows them every year.”

Mama’s face went from cherry red to eggplant purple.

“Clyde, you goddamn fool.”