Dear Diary

Some pages were retrieved from a journal of a girl named Kath.

November 3rd, 1997

Dear diary,

I just ran away from home. I couldn't take it anymore. They wouldn't even feed me properly. I ran with only a little bag of my clothes and a little bundle of money I manage to steal from my aunt when I had the chance.

I don't know where I will go. I am currently writing this while crouch down under a waiting shed. It's raining hard. It's already night and it's cold. I wish I should've brought more coats with me. I can't handle staying at Aunt Millie's house anymore. Every second I spent there is hell.

I've always wanted freedom. I just wish that I can find my way through this alone. I know I can do it. Mom and dad are probably watching and guiding me. I won't upset them.

-Kath.

November 13th, 1997

Dear diary,

I am running out of money, so I tried to do a little sideline like cleaning people's garbage around and I would be often given some coins. In a day I would earn almost up to 1$ and it's enough for me to buy cheap food. Most of the time, I spent my nights outside, sleeping on benches I see.

A park nearby became my temporary home. I often sleep on the benches there. I felt safe because there were lights everywhere plus in the front was a police station. Fortunately, one of the police came to me to wake me up and was kind enough to offer me toasted bread and hot chocolate.

They even let me inside the police station to ask if something's wrong or if I had been suffering from abuse, those kinds of things because they always see me sleeping on benched and they were worried.

I wanted to tell them about my aunt but I decided not to because for what? I'm already free and I have nothing to gain from them anyways.

They started calling some Orphanage who can take care of girls like me.

Luckily, An Orphanage called, Sunnyvale accepted me. There were nuns to take care of me, Sister Edna, Sister Lydia, and Sister Yesha.

It wasn't exactly the best but it was better than being treated inside my auntie's house. They were also a little strict, with all the rules and curfew we had to follow but it's okay. I also met a few friends and to be honest, I kinda liked it. At the same time, I am hoping for a new family and a new life.

I have a feeling that this is it. The life I've always wanted.

I'll write to you when I had the time again.

I've been busy here helping with gardening and cooking.

Sister Ayesha always made sure we know how to do simple chores.

-Kath.

December 1st, 1997.

Dear diary,

Oh, I'm feeling so happy today! I was called by Sister Yesha and they all told me how a family had taken an interest in me and said they wanted to meet me so they scheduled a meeting on the 10th, before Christmas eve comes. Oh what an early Christmas gift this is! I can't wait! wish me luck. I'll write to you more.

-Kath.

December 11th, 1997

Dear diary,

I only sneak a little. It's bedtime already so I'm writing fast and shortly. I finally met my soon to be new family and they are all lovely! The Severino Family, there's Tim and Amy, the lovely couple, my soon to be mom and dad. They were both nice and sweet.

They even had a gift for me, a cute music box where the ballerina inside spins with sweet lullaby music.

I don't know what's going to happen but Sister Yesha told me that I may wanna get ready because they were planning to adopt me before Christmas. Sister Yesha couldn't help but to cry and said she's going to miss me and I think I will too, even if I had spent a little time there.

Not just her but my friends also. I'll write to you again, soon.

-Kath.

December 22nd, 1997

Dear diary,

Is it possible to be feeling homesick despite me not having a real home all my life?

The first time I arrived at Severino's house, a part of me was sad because I left the orphanage and all the people I came to love there but still, a big part of me is happy because I now have someone I can call as my family.

Their house is big, much bigger than my devilish of an aunt. Speaking of her, I wonder how she and her awful daughter doing right now?

Were they looking for me? Probably not. Well anyway, The house is big and old but still, every corner looks polish and neat. I was given my room too, next to Suzy. My room is cute and cozy with a lot of pink colors.

It's not my favorite color but I think I'm starting to like it.

Although I admit, I'm not used to calling Tim and Amy my mom and dad but they said it will take time for me to getting used to.

And oh, have I mention they have a cute dog named Mate? Well, she doesn't really like me that much because she always barks at me but in time I know we'll have to learn to like each other.

Christmas is near yet I feel like this is the best gift I could ever have. Mommy Amy is such a great cook, she cooks us nice food and loves to bake cookies too. She and daddy Tim started calling me Princess because I was their Princess and I love it.

I'll write to you again!

-Kath.

December 24th, 1998

Dear Diary,

MERRY CHRISTMAS! We all wore red today to celebrate Christmas of course and we had a feast inside the house!

The house was in a full pack and everyone was there. Mom and dad (I'm starting to call them that) introduced me to every member of the Family.

I met my mom's sister, Aunt Ashley and she looks nice and sweet and totally pretty with her long hair. She often smiles and her eyes just seem to sparkle every time she does it. I think she's my favorite aunt now.

There's Uncle Frank who loves to joke around and Uncle John, and Uncle John's wife, Aunt Persimmon. They have their kids too which are now my cousins; Shirley, Clarisse, Dexter, and Fatima. Shirley and Dexter are Uncle John and Aunt Persimmon's kids while Fatima and Clarrise are Uncle Frank and Aunt Ashley's kids.

They seem to be awkward around me because when I tried talking to them, they just simply smiled and went away. It made me sad but mom said it's okay, and that they're just really shy when it comes to new people but surely after some time we'll all be friends and I can't wait for it.

It feels like, I am part of the family now. Even when I am writing this and it's night time already, I still can't get rid of my smile. I didn't forget to thank God for this. Escaping from my devilish aunt was the best choice I had made and I will never regret it.

Merry Christmas again! And I'll write to you when I got the time.

Ps, They gave me Christmas presents too. A lovely pink dress and a pair of shoes. I would wear it by the time we celebrate New year soon.

-Kath.

December 27th, 1997

Dear Diary,

Mom and dad took me shopping and we bought lots of clothes for me because mom said I need a new set of clothes for the next year since it's a new one. "New me, new year." She said.

All the clothes she chose were pink and purple, It's fine by me but then I saw this really cute gray dress and wanted it but Mom said it's a bit too dark and dull and it wouldn't suit me.

Kind of sad because I wanted it but she's right, it does quite look dull and boring. So now all my wardrobe is filled with pastel colors and pink. New Year is getting close again and we'll have another celebration.

I can't wait for it already! I'll be seeing my aunt and uncles and cousins again. Maybe I can invite them to play with me? Surely then they'll accept it and so they won't feel awkward with me anymore. I already got things planned out. Can't wait for it! I'll write again to you soon.

-Kath.

December 28th, 1997

Dear Diary,

It didn't go as planned. When they arrived, we all had a great time and as soon as the adults went ahead to the living room to have tea, Suzy and I were left alone with Shirley, Clarisse, and Dexter. They started talking about things but then I was confused because it was in a different language. French, by the sound of it.

I tried butting in and asked if they can teach me how but they just ignored me so I left instead. I feel so out of place and I want to be friends with them, I guess they just don't like me that much yet. I hope soon we'll all be friends and perhaps they can teach me how to talk French.

Anyway, after that, I found a French book in the study room and I'm planning to read it so that I can surprise them when they visit next time. Maybe then they'll finally accept me as their friend slash cousin.

Wish me luck! I'll write to you again, soon.

~Kath.

January 2, 1998

Dear Diary,

Happy new year! And I guess, new me instead. I have short hair now. Mom and dad decided to cut my hair because it was getting long and they told me I look prettier with short hair.

To be honest, I kind of miss my long hair and it took me years of taking care of it but one thing for sure, my head feels much lighter now and I do kinda look cute with my short hair.

And because of this, when my cousins visited again, surprisingly they started talking to me! Can't you believe it? Maybe I didn't look good in my long hair. I'm glad I cut it though. I think I'll be a short-haired girl from now on.

On the day of celebrating New Year, mom made me wear a pink ruffled dress that she bought during Christmas along with a cute butterfly hairpin.

Auntie Ashley and Auntie Persimmon stared at me for a long 5 seconds before smiling and saying I look like an angel. And my cousins started talking to me and they promised to teach me french too!

But of course, I told them I already know a few words and they all complimented on how fast learner I am. I think we're all getting along really well. I'm so happy.

I'll write again to you soon!

-Kath.

March 2, 1998.

Dear diary,

I'm sorry it took me so long to write again but I thought I lost you and I couldn't find you anywhere. I wanted to write so badly but I don't know where so I only wrote down on a piece of paper the details I wanna write here.

So anyway, I don't know where to start but in the past few months, I have noticed weird things that I failed to see before. I have become a completely new person now. My short hair grew a bit long but Mom cut it immediately last week because she said it was making me ugly.

I notice how she forces me to wear pink and pastel dresses, and always introduces me to people. At first, I love it but then it started feeling weird as if they were showing me off as their new toy or something. I often look myself in the mirror and I keep on telling myself that it's not me anymore.

They keep on changing me but why? They always seem to call me Princess, like they have forgotten my original name which is Kath. At first, I loved being called their Princess but right now, I'm not sure anymore.

One time, I caught my mother at the back of our house, particularly at the shed which Daddy Tim always keeps it lock because there was once a group of thieves who tried breaking in inside. I followed her out of curiosity but then surprisingly she saw me and smiled at me warmly and told me that I shouldn't go inside the shed because it was too dirty and not appropriate for a girl like me.

I know something was up already. So when night came, I tried to check the shed again, it finally catches my attention because I was ignoring it before. However, it was heavily locked and the windows were covered in black.

Mommy Amy must have known that I'll come again.

So I gave up checking it...for now.

I'll check try to check again, tomorrow or next week, perhaps. Once she already sees that I'm no longer interested in it.

The last two days ago was my birthday and daddy Tim ordered a cake for me. It was just the three of us, Auntie Ashley and Uncle John along with their daughters, Clarisse and Fatima.

It was perfect, however, I noticed the written name on top of the cake. It says, "Happy birthday, Princess."

There was no single letter from my name Kath.

How have I been so blind?

They keep on calling me Princess not because I am their princess, but because it was a name they have all gotten used to. I wanna find out more. I wanna know more.

I'll write again to you, soon.

-KATH. Not Princess.

March 15th, 1998

Dear Diary,

I knew it. They were trying to hide it away from me but I saw it. Inside the shed... it was a coffin. Jesus Christ, a coffin for Pete's sake! Why would they have a coffin inside a shed?

I didn't have the chance to look more because Mate was already barking and I had to make excuses just to make sure Amy (I'm not gonna call her mom anymore) gets the picture that I'm not trying to be nosy.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. I already had a hunch. No one would say or tell me anything and I don't know much history about my new family.

But I have a feeling that the name Princess was their daughter who died and they decided to adopt me so that they can have a physical body whom they can treat as their own deceased daughter, trying to shape me into something they had before.

All those pink clothes...it was because they were forcing me to change into their dead daughter. How damn sick is that?

A

And the music box and the hair clip, they weren't mine... they were Princess's stuff and the room I am staying with is her room originally and some clothes that I wear are hers.

How can I be so dumb and stupid? I wanna go back to the Orphanage and be with Sister Yesha and friends again. This is a nightmare.

I'll write again soon.

-Kath.

March 27th, 1998

dear diary,

I was right. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I sneaked out last night and went into the shed. Surprisingly, it wasn't locked yet I was suddenly too afraid to go inside but I did anyway and I wished I shouldn't have.

Inside was indeed a coffin and other pink stuff. Some dresses were hanging on hangers and shoes lying on the floor but what horrifies me the most is the coffin. Inside was a pale rotten flesh of a little girl.

Even if it was tightly sealed, I thought I could smell the putrid stink. Despite the decayed skin, it was a body of a girl who had short hair, and through her pink ruffled dress were here decaying skin, revealing the bones inside.

There were also candles surrounding the whole room. God, it was horrifying. The dress she wears...I can't help but think if those are the dresses Amy and Tim are making me wear.

I couldn't handle it so I came back to the room to write this down. I don't know what to do. I don't know why they were still keeping the body of their dead daughter and why candles were lying around but I don't wanna know more, I just wanna go out but they wouldn't let me leave the house.

I just want to go back to the orphanage, please.

-Kath.

April 5th, 1998

They're gonna kill me! That was the plan! And now they're after me! I'm writing these now, I don't know why but it seems to be the only sensible thing to do. You are the only one I can trust right now. I'm hiding outside, in a big rock surrounded by tall trees.

It's dark. No one's gonna find me here. They were planning to sacrifice me. I know because I heard them talking and now they're coming after me.

I don't know if I can make it out alive but I have a plan, I'll stay here 'til dawn and then I'll head straight for the woods, I'll run. there's must be a road nearby, there has to be.

I'll write to y—