Cats have been my enemy for a long time. Their annoying meows, and purring, their rough fur, and sharp claws. I still don’t see why people love cats. I can’t forget what those little rats did to me a year ago. I was at work minding my own business when Callie walked into my clean cubicle.
“Hi Colin! How are you doing.” She was smiling while petting something. “Um Callie, it is a pleasure to see you, but what is that THING?” She smiled wider.
“Oh! This is Pigeon my cat! I thought by bringing her in for a while, it would make my coworkers happy.” I almost puked. That demon WAS a pigeon. A street rat, and a disgusting vermin. I shivered while scooting away.
“Do you want to pet her?” I gasped. “Uh, no.” She laughed, while “Pigeon” hissed at me. “Aw be nice Pig! Are you scared of her?” She asked, while taking a step closer. I swallowed hard. This could ruin my job, Callie was my boss, and if I embarrassed myself it could ruin everything.
“Of course I would, but I um, just washed my desk and hands, so I don’t want fur getting everywhere!” She laughed. “Pigeon doesn’t shed!” She dropped the thing on my desk, while I scrambled away. Pigeon purred, and walked on my computer. Callie laughed.
“See! She is such a sweetheart!” Pigeon’s fur fell like feather’s all over my-used-to-be CLEAN cubicle. I stood up straight and walked out. “Where are you going?” I gasped for breath. “Meeting!”
“Oh right, our interview meeting. I’m coming to, just wait a sec.” She snatched up Pigeon, and followed me. I tried to keep my distance as we walked into the room. I saw my coworkers, and bosses. Callie sat down, but not before letting people pet Pigeon. “We have a new client,” She said smiling at me.
“I have let Mr. Adams get used to being around our work environment, by letting him have his own work area.” There where murmurs of approval. Pigeon hopped onto the table, walking straight towards me. Callie went on.
“Mr. Adams is a very clean man, and gets work done fast. He is a very calm man as well.” I felt myself sweating as Pigeon walked closer. “I would love to announce that I am accepting him to Wells Fargo!” I screamed, as Pigeon jumped on me. She latched her claws onto my suit, and I ran around the room. Callie gasped, as I ran around knocking papers, and chairs over. She finally jumped off into Callie’s arms. She was staring at me in shock. Then burst out laughing. My face flushed red. She then stopped laughing.
“Colin you caused quite the disturbance,” she said pointing at the papers. I blushed once more, and gathered the parcels up. I placed them in a pile. “I apologize, but I really have to get going, my girlfriend is waiting.” She frowned, then nodded.
“Of course.” I stormed out of the building. I slammed my Nissan car door closed, and zoomed to my girlfriend’s house. She was waiting for me at the door. “Hi hon! How was work.” I growled. “Just great!” I said sarcastically.
“I have a gift for you!” She handed me a box. I opened it cautiously, and screamed. I threw the stupid box, and it hit my girlfriend. The tiny mewling cat inside, squealed, as it hit Lila on the head. The cat clung to her hair, while she screeched.
“What is wrong with you Colin Adams!” I took a step back, when I felt her hand across my face. She slapped me. “Get out of here now.” She said her voice dangerous. I shivered, and hustled out to my car. I cursed. Cats ruin everything. I slammed the acceleration, and zoomed away. I walked to the red brick house on Calberry Street. It had beautiful coloring. I knocked on the door. My mother opened the door, and smiled when she saw me.
“Colin, what brings you here?” I gave her a small smile, and looked at my shoes. “Eh, I have a problem.” She raised her eyebrow. “You finally realized that.” I rolled my eyes.
“Mother, I hate cats, and they hate me. I lost Lila, and I’m about to lose my job. Cats have been causing a real problem for me.” She sighed. “Come on in.” As I walked into the old house, memories rushed back to me. I recognized the wooden table at the front, which my father had carved, the velvet carpet, with the chandelier, that threatened to fall. As she led me into the living room, I saw the old couches with the stuffing popping out. I smiled. She still kept the old little lamp, which I had given to her for her birthday. The fireplace was on, and created a warming feeling in the house.
“Where’s Father?” She sighed sadly. “Oh, off with some lady from Vegas.” I frowned. “Father is cheating on you?” She laughed bitterly. “Not a new trait for him. What are you looking for son?”
“Do you have a cat? I need to get over my fear of those vermin.” She nodded, and walked away. I was left in the awkward silence, with only a cup of tea for company. My mother came back with a small kitten. I dropped the china cup, and jumped up. My mother glared at the mess on the carpet. I grimaced. She dropped it, and it sniffed its way over.
“I need to find a new girlfriend who hates cats, because it seems nowadays everyone loves ‘em.” I said while trying to avoid it. “I also probably need a new job, since I’m sure Callie is going to fire me, after I basically destroyed her office.” My mother laughed.
“I don’t know son. You better leave though. I’m busy these days.” I smiled my fake smile, and rushed out the door.
The next day as I pulled up to work, I noticed something on my desk, as I walked into my cubicle. It was an invitation to Callie’s wedding!? Geez, who knew Callie was engaged. I straightened my tie, and got to work.
After a few weeks of fretting, I finally decided I was going to that stupid wedding. I wouldn’t let a CAT ruin my time. I put on my best suit, and got in my car. I had gotten Callie a new desk chair, because she was always complaining. I parked my car and walked out. Callie’s house was decorated, and I heard music in the backyard. As I walked back I saw Callie in a beautiful dress. A handsome man was standing next to her grinning at the camera. I sat down with a drink, and talked to some of my coworkers.
Finally, it was time for the ceremony. I looked around, and saw Pigeon scanning the crowd, as if looking for me. I held my breath as her gaze swept onto me. She almost smiled, as she trotted towards me.
Colin take a deep breath. If you ruin this wedding, you will be done. No job, no friends. I repeated to myself. Pigeon was at my feet. I screamed. Everybody gasped, and turned to look at me. Callie glared at me. Pigeon purred, and jumped onto my lap.
I hopped up, and ran around, desperate for her to get off. People dodged out of the way. I screamed louder as I accidentally slammed into the wedding cake, causing frosting to fly everywhere, I stumbled, but caught myself, as I trampled the ring carrier. The diamond ring went flying. I heard Callie scream, “No!” As I fell on top of the groom.
I coughed as the dust settled. The groom pushed me off him, and starting spewing curse words. Callie started to cry, screaming, “Your fired!!” I groaned, as Pigeon hopped off me, and rubbed against my legs. I kicked her while Callie yelled. People helped clean up, while the groom helped me to my car.
“Don’t ever come back!” He screamed. After he left, and I started to drive, I felt myself start to laugh. I gulped for breath, as I licked frosting off my hands. I drove to the pet store to pick up a cat. I think I’ll name it Pigeon.