A dare to dream

”Come on then, I DARE YOU!” Never in a million years did I expect to end up here; getting on a plane and changing the course of my life forever. Yet here I am, passport and boarding pass in hand, and everything I own crossing the sea ahead of me to my new home. Two hours until I board, as I check my phone for the 100th time. “a watched pot never boils,” my mother’s words of wisdom chimes in my ears. How incredibly right she is, as I put my phone away. With a slight chuckle to myself, I think back to how I found myself on this journey in the first place. I can sum it up in one word: Dare. Not a dare from a friend, a loved one or even a stranger. But a dare from me to myself. “Let go of this comfortable life and lets run free for a bit.” A quiet call to action. “It’s only for a little bit. Besides, you have friends over there and its a chance to finally meet them and see this country you have loved for almost two decades. Work can function without you, I promise you, it won‘t go to hell in a hand basket while you are away.” What are you so afraid of?? Come on then, I dare you.” Never one to back down from a challenge, especially from myself, I relented. I was going to prove to myself, I had the adventurous spirit still living somewhere inside. But truth be told, I was terrified that she had been swallowed up by my comfort zone. Years of being pushed aside by excuses, so many in fact, I can’t even recall half of them because that’s how little they mattered. She had been silenced for so long by me giving in to just existing, getting by with just the bare minimum of effort.

A simple dare or whatever you want call it would turn my comfortable, boring life upside down and in return gave me a path that led me home. A simple dare to finally travel to a country I have always wanted to and never made the time or effort to let this dream sprout wings. What I ended up finding was an old friend I thought I had lost and or buried years ago. One I had thought that I let die. The funny thing is, the moment we found each other again, it was as if we had never been apart. Adventure welcomed me back with open arms. But finding her was just part of it, the second most important part was still to come.

When my feet touched English soil on December 13th, for the first time, I knew without any doubt that I found my forever home. A simple click happened within my heart and my soul whispered, “You. Are. Home.” Home. The home I felt I didn’t have any right to ask for, but dreamt about since I was 16. A place to call mine. A place to struggle in. A place to succeed. A place full of laughter and of love like my childhood home was. A place to invite the people I love the most to come and help fill her to the rafters with beautiful memories. Home was on my mind as I began to tour England for the first time I wish to know every nook and cranny of her lovely cities, villages and countryside. I didn’t want to go just where the tourists went. I wanted to see all of her, I wanted to travel down the empty streets that only locals went. Those streets that housed no shops and therefore would be deemed not worth the tourists time. However, that is where the hidden gems are! hidden gems like the Jane Austen house which is tucked away and only the most dedicated of explorers will find her. I wanted to see her hidden gems and the long forgotten places. England is full of long forgotten places and stories. My heart wanted to hear them all. I wanted to see England through the eyes of the people who lived there, the places the tourist looks past and ends up missing out on what makes England, England. England was everything I had ever dreamed of and more. The old cities and it’s beautiful buildings filled with centuries of untold stories waiting to be heard, to the hidden gems like that of John Keats ”To Autumn” river walk, Salisbury Cathedral, Christmas Carols in 500 year old churches and mince pie. The unique beauty in every city was like a dream I never wanted to wake up from. Nevertheless, this wasn’t a walk in the park trip. With plenty that went wrong along the way. But even when it went wrong, I knew even in those struggles (now and the ones in the future) this is where I would want to do it. Starting over. even at my age of 36, this is where I would want to start over. I would struggle to build a life from the ground up. I would take all the struggles that comes with it, if and only if I could do it here in my beloved England. Despite the getting lost, getting caught in a multiple torrential down pours, missing my buses, getting on the wrong trains, sitting in the wrong train cars, etc. I fell even more in love with the country. What followed in those two weeks, was my simple dare to myself to live again, had morphed into me trying to figure out a way to come back to England and come back for good. I made a promise to England as I boarded my plane back to the states, that I would be back and I would make her my forever home. Nothing in this world could stop me not even the hounds of hell. That Christmas was a Christmas to remember. But life put my plans on hold. Reality came rushing back and threaten to take all my hopes and dreams with it. I began to think, that I was never going to ever return. However, fate stepped in and gave me a helping hand. I had to stop waiting for England to come in and get me, if I wanted that life, I had to do the pursuing not the other way around. So, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. After twelve months of endless seas of paperwork, interviews, setbacks and break throughs, I find myself sitting in an international terminal, holding a one way ticket bound for London. What awaits me? Only God knows at this point, but I am just daring enough to find out. “Attention passengers! Now Boarding...”