Helen Shandy

Helen Shandy, University Librarian of Trinity College Dublin, took off her glasses after she entered the library to clean the mist off them. During the holidays, knowing she would be alone at work for a few hours, Helen got busy.

What? It can't be! Don't tell me I lost my glasses in the library. Shit! She thought. She got out of her car and headed back to the library.

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Helen and Rob had adult children who all lived in other parts of the world. After her husband died, she discovered that throwing herself into her job was a gratifying way to pass the time and forget about life for a while. The holidays were some of the worst times for Helen. But knowing there was always something to do in the library, Helen went to the college almost every holiday since Rob died. Helen was a "typical librarian," complete with the glasses and the thin frame. She was an outstanding librarian who never missed a beat, even the year her husband died by assisted suicide.

The couple travelled to Vancouver Island, to stay with their youngest, Celia, who was teaching on a First Nations reserve there. Rob and Helen had chosen to end Rob's life since Canada had approved his death by assisted suicide. Helen thought they had prepared well for the suicide. Within a month of his arrival in Canada, Rob was dead and cremated, and his ashes spread far out into the Pacific.

Rob and Helen hadn't talked much about it. Rob's early death took them both by surprise. When they filled out the application, they thought they would have more time, but he qualified for legally assisted suicide. It was swift, but nasty for Helen to deal with. She didn't have time to consider how Rob's decision might affect her in the aftermath. The children, who didn't see their parents very often anymore, and even found Skyping a nuisance, were left a very curt message from Rob. The news of his death was just as sudden for them.

Helen returned to Dublin after the cremation and quickly discovered the home she and Rob shared was too big: their bed was too cold, and she was lonely.

They were only in their forties, and Rob and she meant to spend most of their free time adventuring together. She faced that prospect on her own now, which was a surprise Helen anticipated and longed for. Helen, who loved her profession but knew when enough was enough, entered the building, knowing that this year would be her last.

At this time of the holiday, she would be the only soul inside, and she found solace in that. After all, books were a big part of her life, and she was well-read on a variety of topics. She was a great conversationalist, and many specialists and academics from all over the world came to the university to study. The rich and vast holdings housed in the various parts of the library never disappointed. 

Helen satisfied herself, knowing every inch of the library and each collection intimately. It took fifteen years of support from the librarian who preceded her for her to get the job she now holds as Trinity College's University Librarian. Her predecessor retired. 

Helen was jazzed about many books in various collections in the library and had a list of favourites that she would visit and read when she had the time. She was more pleased than the cat that swallowed the canary as she was in and out of the various departments. She would take her glasses off to read and then put them back on to see long distances. At times, she misplaced her glasses, and when she did, the search was on.

She didn't need them to read at the library, but she needed them to see down the long hallways and to find aisles and rows. When she got outside of the library, especially when driving and navigating shops and grocery stores, she needed them. Her coworkers had purchased an eyeglass lanyard so she wouldn't lose them in a stack of books someplace in the library anymore. However, on this particular day, she spent the entire day using and not using her glasses. Only when she got in her car did she realise she had left them behind somewhere in the library.

What? It can't be! Don't tell me I lost my glasses in the library. Shit! She thought. She sighed and exited the car, returning to the library to look for her spectacles. But because she'd been everywhere today in the library, she had no clue where to start looking for her glasses. First, she went to her office and looked over her desk. Her desk was as neat as a pin without glasses. She next went to the Book of Kells section and searched there, but it was all in vain. She found her librarian gloves there, which she used while reading from the old books while handling the pages of the books. She grinned to herself as she stuffed the gloves into her pants pocket. And she continued her hunt. No luck there either.

But it was there that she discovered her coffee and took a long sip of the room-temperature beverage. As she took another sip, she noticed she hadn't been to the bathroom in a long time and that her situation had suddenly become dire. She entered the restroom, carrying a book she had in her hand that was misplaced. She knew it wasn't normally done, but she knew she wouldn't rest until the book was returned to where it belonged.

She flushed and made her way to the sinks on the other side of the toilets. Where there were numerous mirrors. She had barely looked in the mirror since Rob's death, but something compelled her to do so once she was done washing her hands. Part of not looking in the mirror was because she was guilty of assisting in Rob’s suicide; she couldn't look herself in the eye.

Lo and behold, the huge mystery was finally solved. The missing spectacles were sitting atop her head the entire time. She had forgotten she put them there and was certain they were nestled inside a book she had consulted earlier in the day.

Helen laughed at herself as she returned the book to its proper place and exited the library once again, This time she wore her spectacles out the door with a wide grin on her face. Rob would've loved that, Helen, she thought to herself as she got into her car to drive home.

That night, she prepared Rob's favourite dinner, poured his preferred scotch, and raised a glass to him. She welcomed getting into their enormous bed this time and felt warm and snug. Her grief was over.

She was back to being Helen again. Her zest for life was apparent to her colleagues, who were surprised that she looked lively and refreshed after the holiday. She graciously took the eyeglass lanyard out of her desk drawer and put it on.

There was a spring in her step again, something that she had been missing while Rob was sick. His death brought tranquillity to her life. And everything was where it was supposed to be. Because of the lanyard, she never misplaced her glasses again.