The Hometown Man

                              The Hometown Man

  By DF Deloria

   This quite humorous incident happened about thirty years ago.

  An unmarried and not so well-educated man named Dexter spent most of his entire life in his little hometown Zamboanguita in the province of Negros Oriental, Philippines. He hasn't really gone to big cities and entered big malls to shop or dine or simply to gallivant. Well, maybe he did once in Metro Manila (Philippines) when he was still 20 or 30 something. But that was a very long time ago when the Light Railway Transit (LRT) and Metro Rail Transit (MRT) weren't built up yet. Since that time, he is hometown-based. 

 His manner of life in town is just very simple and extremely ordinary. He lives alone in a flimsy hut along the coastal area in one of the fine beaches of his hometown. No job to think about every morning and get busy of. Not of his taste – not even fishing. He simply wakes up every morning, takes coffee and cigarette, face the rising sun, and savor the cool sea breeze while sitting on a chair facing the ocean and gazing at the unspoiled crystalline waters that is too beautiful to swim in plus the captivating beauty of the famous tourist destination Apo island squarely on his view. The every morning quiet is only disturbed by the sound of the waves and the chirrup of small birds from the tree nearby. Sometimes he would take a dip and have an hour swim or linger for minutes under the 8:00 o’clock morning sun. If there’s an abundant catch on a particular day, a few of his friend fishermen will come around in his cozy small area with fresh fish for cooking (oftentimes grilled or eaten raw) paired with a native wine called “tuba” and the day is already complete for him. If no one comes around until 11:00 he sets off to the town proper and see up any friend available on that day hoping there is a gathering for a possible merry drinking session and he would join in and spend his entire day with them. On few occasions he would foot the bill and initiate the action but more often he would just show up in a group and sit and enjoy along. That’s his daily routine. No big worries and troubles of the day actually. If he has a little money in the pockets, then well and very good. If there’s none, it doesn’t concern him much either. What is important to him, he can eat three times a day with whatever food he can put on his table, have a smoke of whatever brand of cigarette while having a great time drinking with friends.

 Fortunate for him that his parents, while still alive, were able to accumulate a few real estate properties. So Dexter just depended on his share of the profit of the products of their siblings' inherited agricultural real properties like coconut, cornmeal, and root crops. Sometimes moneyed when harvest is good and bounty but most of the time, broke and literally living on pennies. No big dreams, no big plans for himself and his life -- just living one day at a time. He is already happy and contented hopping from one friend's house to another for a little lively booze and happenings, and then wish that the next day will be just the same.

 Sometime in the mid-1990s, Dexter was already over 50-years-old, when he got a share of one of their inherited properties that was sold fairly. Big dough was in his hands. So immediately he planned for a short trip somewhere else away from his comfort zone to try to goof off, enjoy, and for the very first time explore another place outside his province. He then excitedly visited his drinking buddies and much younger friends Ariel, Bebot and Arce for any suggestion and a possible company to go with him with an all-expense-paid trip that he will shoulder. He was in luck as the trio was timely going to Davao City (Philippines) to join a 3-day cock-derby. So they just invited Dexter to come along with them. Dexter enthusiastically okayed. He then prepared and set himself for the trip -- to the great amusement of his three friends when he showed up on the agreed date and time as he took along with him a big traveling bag as if they’d be staying there for several months.

  On that same day they traveled and in short they were in Davao City a day before the scheduled cock derby. So much time to roam around in another far-away province. After resting for a while in Ariel's relative's house, the quartet agreed to go out for a stroll and sight-seeing. Dexter wanted to go to at any mall to see the place himself and to buy some basic items for use and for souvenir. Bebot and Arce never did like going to malls much that they went out their own way. So it was Ariel who accompanied Dexter to the city’s popular mall. The two spent hours searching for the items that Dexter had in mind to purchase but he ended up undecided of what really to purchase and came out later buying a handkerchief only. Of course to the great disappointment of his companion Ariel as they consumed long boring hours inside the mall just to buy a small piece of cloth.

  On their way to the mall's exit, they passed a Jolibee branch. Dexter offered Ariel to go inside for a mid-noon bite. So they did. Upon entering, Ariel told Dexter to just do the ordering himself for whatever he likes and just double it up for the two of them. Ariel then pointed to one area and motioned the latter to follow the line of customers heading to the counter. Dexter immediately and innocently joined the queue as if he is just in his usual hometown bakery or eatery while Ariel settled in a table not afar and watched Dexter with a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.

  By the time Dexter was already two persons away from the counter crews, he looked back to Ariel and inquired in a loud, confident voice: "Ariel, unsa ako order-ron, Coke litro o Pepsi (Ariel, what am I going to order, a 1-liter Coke or 1-liter Pepsi?)?" All heads turned to Dexter's direction and shot a quick gaze on Ariel. In embarrassment, Ariel looked away, ignored Dexter and pretended he didn't hear a word.

 But in fairness to Dexter, after a long discussion and "negotiation" in the counter with matching hand signs, he was able to bring in to their table two jumbo hamburger and two large plastic glasses of cola. Solved!

 Dexter realized that awkward moments a day later when his friends started teasing him. That unforgettable embarrassing experience made him swear with crossed fingers that he will never ever go to any other places again outside his hometown. He’d probably savor all the comforts in his cozy small kingdom by the beach in his beautiful tropical island the rest of his life. And in which he really did.

                                                        *****