Our traditions shall carry us through

"That's it I am moving out. I have had it with this family!" she said crying with bags packed and a cigarette hanging on her mouth.

"She will be back. You 'll see. I won't let her push us around anymore. This is my house. She knows the rules. She will come back and apologize. She always does." her mom said to her sister.

"What did she do this time!" asked her sister.

"She wants to go to college! She knows better! She knows that she is supposed to marry Dennis. What is she fooling around college for. I am sick enough as it is. We don't have money. You barely wake up and join the living. Everyone is depressed. Neighbors gossip about us. Your dad goes to work and he will soon want to retire. I cannot keep the house clean, I am tired all the time. The cops were here and I don't know what they wanted. Who needs another mouth to feed. A loud one at that!" the mom said.

"Mommy, did you trick her into leaving because we do not have money?" her daughter asked.

"Something like that. She has a good head on her shoulders. She has the looks. She seems strong enough to take it out there. What is she going to do here with Dennis who works in a factory and has nothing but boring stories about this town. She might be a somebody out there. I know, we are all women and we should get married and have kids. She is too strong for that. And she hears voices too. It is like watching as slow death of a very hopeful soul vanishing in sorrow. I don't want her to be like me and say that I wish I stayed in school. I wish that I had been a somebody. She should leave or some day she will lose it and end up institutionalized. I just hope that she does not come back. If she does her soul will die. Maybe she will send for you! Think about that as you plan your life. What will you do if she sends for you." the mother said.

"Mom, I have to pick up the groceries I just got a text that it is ready for pick up." her daughter said. She thought to herself that she need not worry about what her mom was focused on. What will she do now that her sister is gone. She was her only friend. She had stories to tell her and they shared a lot of hopes and dreams together. What will become of her now. She too did not go to college. Only her brother is the only one who could. Her parents worried that they will be abused and used in college. That they will meet the wrong headed and end up with men who will marry them only to abuse them and humiliate them. They will end up right where they started and be unhappy housewives. She had no intention of questioning her parents. Her aunts are housewives and are happily married to rich and to progressive men. They promised her dad that they will not ask of his nieces more than they are supposed to do. Going to college became an issue when many returned home disillusioned by riots and the bad economy. Some disillusioned students ended up drinking and drowned in their sorrows. Families such as mine did not want to take chances. My granddad was the one who made the decision that his girls were not going to be the laughing stalk of the elite or be used by new money and my dad agreed with him. My brother is constantly trying to prove him wrong. He has just finished his Masters and is not even married because he hopes to convince his dad that he did a good enough job raising his girls. They too can be like him with proper choices. So far he has not succeeded to convince him to rethink his decision about not allowing his sisters to attend college. So every time he visits home, he is met with sadness and vague stories about how the town has changed. The new communities sprouting around might bring hope and change. He tries to reassure his sisters that things might improve for them. Both keep hoping to be getting married soon. He predicts that maybe then they might have the right to go to college, that their husbands will be more understanding. With texts and cell phones why can't they go to college, they will be easy to communicate with in case they need to internet with loved ones. He deems his dad a fiasco for not understanding this very basic human need. His dad usually mentions that it is foolish to send girls to college without understanding the dynamics of the life in his town. There are interests that feed off those who are on middle income or low income. There are other benefits with having a not so high income. There are no worries about high taxes. Communities seem to thrive and become closer making it easier to take care of each other. There is no dependency on the outsiders, lawyers, accountants, etc. Life is easier. There are no to and from travels to work places where there are shootings and antisocial behaviors. There had been a lot of shootings in town, disgruntled employees and many other terror attacks including school shootings. So his fears were not unfounded. In general everyone does the same thing. To which his son responds, that people live in hysteria and fear resulting some bullies taking over lives of others. College gives empowerment to be able to stand up to bad laws and bullies.

"Son, how many bullies can force your sisters into submission." he would say

"Dad, without a college education especially for women, life is very tough. Her husband might die or get sick or cheat on her then what will she do? Go on public assistance? A college education is an insurance to make sure that the family is and can be taken care of should bad things happen. She also gets to meet others like her who work for a living and be a productive member of society. Think about it dad."

That was before Tracy left the family nest. She was going to take a stand on a long standing family tradition of a family that stays together follows the rules together.

Tracy had been scheduled for an interview for a job which she knew she was not interested in but in her gut she felt that she needed to try for it anyway. When the girl who interviewed her turned out to be a girl that she used to babysit, she lost it. "That's it I am out of here."

She soon packed her bags and took all of her savings. Girls like Tracy always have savings that are stashed somewhere. They end up being your McDonald's, "Can I supersize that for you, Sir" and then one day they are your loan officers!

Tracy was one of many hopes of city life where things happen and life is lived. Most who are like Tracy struggle with whether to keep in touch with "back home" or just chill and take it easy. Some call home and ask their nephews and nieces to pay them a visit. While driving in the city and look at their past they then remember why they left home and regret putting themselves through the past again.

Some call home hoping that perhaps by some magic the rules have changed only to find out that they all have moved on with their lives and do not want to remember what it was like to be with the ones who left.

In the voices of the ones with a new life, they keep hearing, "you left!"

"yes, but I lost weight and my teeth are straight."

"you left."

"yes but I have a job and I go to night school."

"you left"

"I am going on a date to this posh restaurant."

"you left."

This will keep happening until one day they will get to hear the end of the sentence, "you left and we have no use for you. Your sister is happily married. No one says anything to her. No one judges her. No one uses the bathroom longer than necessary. She is happy. She has a husband and a house and pets. She will have kids soon. She does not call us, she visits us. We are fine just fine."

And then suddenly the city will be familiar and a safer place to be......