Vicissitudes

TW: Suicidal ideation

Adrian flinched again and again as Joana jerked the car and drove deliriously.

“Joana”, Adrian began cautiously, “Where are we going?”

His disheveled and disturbed hair sprung up and down frenziedly.

“Wait for it. It will come to you. I promise.” Joana said diplomatically, with a dull hue.

“Uh, okay.”

Adrian’s ‘a tilt towards right’, ‘traffic light are green’ and other such inputs were omnipresent.

The car zoomed impressively along the wave of the street, swaying and revamping in style, and the whole world sat back.

“Joana, you are unbelievable!”

She raised a brow, truly nonplussed.

“You drive like an artist. Like how an artist makes his paints flow, you have the ability to make the car flow.”

“Really?” Joana said rather flabbergasted.

“Oh yes very much. And given the fact that, uh, you know,” she nodded, with a subtle twitch of facial muscles, “you are so very performing phenomenally.”

Her cheeks became a soft pink hue as tendrils of her hazelnut brown hair caressed her forehead.

“Um, I thought about this for a while but now I firmly insist, that you take up driving as a regular hobby.”

“Well, that’s um, just..” she examined him, “I never thought about it.”

The car squelched to a exhausting halt.

“C’mon let’s bounce off.” Joana stated.

As they got out of the car, Joana rubbed her arms and stepped towards Adrian. “Um, thanks for coming till here, Ad. I’ll always relish our warm memories. But, um, I know this is going to be bad, but I feel that we should both um, depart on our own way in life. You know, ending the journey from where it had started.”

Adrian’s tawny orbs were horrified.

“What are you saying Joana!?” He stared at her with digging intensity.

“Yes Ad, I just think it will be better for the both of us.” She had a scoop of guilt in her brown liquified eyes.

“But, what happened suddenly?”

“Ad, none of it is your fault. It’s me. I am extremely sorry. I’m sorry, I’ve to go.” Collecting her eyes back from him, she snaked away.

Adrian turned behind to see her running into the stupendous M.J tower. ‘What was she up to?’, he thought, perturbed by her behavior.

With a destabilized mind, he ran behind her.

-   -   -   -

“Joana, stop!” Adrian screamed , as he choked out steaming huffs. The flattering view atop M.K tower of Basilius was indeed breathtaking and worth appreciation, but not at this given moment for Adrian when he saw Joana stand on the edge of the helipad, frailly. 

Blood squelched beneath his neck and enclasped his heart as Joana propelled to jump the life out of her. 

Adrian stretched his arm to catch hold of her and pull her backwards.

“What’s happening Joe?Tell me! I need to know.” His voice frothed with rage and spice, passion and admiration, and fear and fragility.

“Adrian I’m sorry.” She hugged him as she sobbed at the cuffs of his collar t-shirt.

“I don’t think I can live like this. Everything has changed. A month ago I was interviewed for the Glam Awards as I made my first power move in Hollywood with a debut film. Just when something good conceptualized, in a trice, this happens. Honestly, I am glad to be alive even after the injury, but really, what’s the point? Loosing eyesight is the worst thing anyone can ever experience. It’s a mess in the lightless world, it’s terrible. Just TERRIBLE. I hate is there..” And she cried loudly and fiercely. 

Adrian patted her back understandingly, a dense fire brewing in his regularly cool eyes. He took her by the side and made her sit on a cushioned chair.

“Joana, let me tell you something about a terrible part of my life. It’s not any secret that I have a brown blotched scar on my face. But nobody knows the backstory. It was not an acid attack nor a genetic disposition. It was a virus that started growing and feeding on me and my emotions, primarily when I was bullied for having being short. With my growing virus, grew my bullying. We appointed doctors but they couldn’t find a cure. All that time, I struggle and wished the mark to go away. But it didn’t. And yes, I had almost tried to commit suicide too. Long story cut short, I regained my motivation, accepted myself no matter the flaws and learn to live with them.”

Joana was appalled, her breath stock-still.

“Oh gosh Adrian, I’m so sorry.” She gave him a consoling stroke.

“It okay Joe, I’m over it by now. And I think that you too should not loose the spirit of living! You could resume Hollywood if you don’t wanna deal with cars- ”

“Cars,” she whispered, “ yes cars.”she said to herself, “ They give me a thrill. And driving regularly as a hobby? Well,” Adrian looked in anticipation ,"why didn’t I think of this before?” She smiled widely.

Adrian looked at her anxiously and said, “Joe, I do not want you to do anything that harms you, okay.”

She nodded.

-    -      -     -    

It was midnight. Joana dimmed her bedroom with a golden lamp, as her sleep was stormed with guilt.

She sat up with the ugly realization, that she used to be subtly rude to Adrian because of the irritation that his scar gave her. All in all, he was a much better person and friend than she was. And now since the time of her accident, regardless of the past, Adrian is as supporting as her spine.

In present if she thinks about Adrian, she doesn’t even remember his face; so appearance is now a negligible factor to pass any judgement.

Tears pipetted from her beady eyes as she hugged a pillow solidly.

-  -    -   -

“So now we have a carved blueprint of the city ready.” Adrian said. “Traffic lights are stuck on them and so are 3D models of cars positioned.” He winked at her.

“Hey, I know you winked me.” She said.

He was happily surprised, “Well, I should make a move then.”

“No, no sit down.”

He laughed.

“Okay okay, so all we need to obtain now is data about moving traffic on different streets during different times, so that you can drive during the best hour of a day.” He concluded.

“Lovely.” She said.

“Ad, pass me on a car model, will you?”

“Um, sure.”

Adrian beheld the petite model but then erased the idea of picking it up. With his eyes shuffling naughtily, he dipped his hands into his pocket and took out a potato. Dusting away the dirt soundlessly, he handed over the potato to her, “Here.”

She grabbed it excitedly and felt its boundaries, only to realize that it had none. Thinking intelligently, she cupped it in her enclosed hands and pinched it by her nails, analyzing its material. “Ad, that’s not a car.” She exclaimed, “ its um, a , it’s a potato.”

“Smart. I’m sorry.. Here, this one’s the real car.” He handed the car to her and she took it coolly.

“Adrian, by the way I wanted to tell you something from the solemn corners of my heart.” Adrian clasped his hands, preparing himself for ‘everything’.

“Relax,” she touched his arm, sensing his nervousness, “I would like to tell you that,” She paused.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what.” He muttered.

“Sorry for-” she hesitated. “Just keep that with you. A part of you will recollect someday.”

Adrian was just not readable.

“Tomorrow 8am. Bye.” He enacted the curving of a steering wheel with a smile and left.